


Promise

by wth_am_i_writing



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst, BTS makes appearences in later chapters, Demon Hunters, Demons, Eventual Romance, Fantasy, M/M, Memory Loss, Reincarnation, Rescue Missions, Supernatural Creatures, Violence, smut in later chapters, this is meant to be in the vein of a greek epic journey but in a more Medieval setting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 08:50:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 65,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17220773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wth_am_i_writing/pseuds/wth_am_i_writing
Summary: N couldn’t remember why he was traveling, but he had a feeling it was important.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr on December 4, 2016.
> 
> Original Author’s Note: At long last!! The Navi fic I’ve been talking about for months. I finished the first draft Thanksgiving weekend, and have been working on edits since. I’m still not done with editing yet, so I don’t know what the final word count is or how many chapters this will break into. I just know it’s over 63K words and each chapter is probably gonna be somewhere between 4K and 8K. I decided a long time ago that I was going to post a “chapter” a week, though, so here is the first chapter! This has been such a long time in the making, so I’m actually quite nervous about the reception. Thank you so much to my beta readers, who helped push me through the hard parts and giving me valuable feedback! Especially @dragonfox13, as I probably wouldn’t have been able to finish the fic without her as a bouncing board. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!!

The first time he remembered waking up, it was to the sounds of bickering and the sight of an unfamiliar ceiling. He blinked a few times in confusion, trying to remember _something_ , _anything_. Nothing came to mind. He pushed himself up onto his elbows and the arguing came to a halt. He looked around, still quite confused as he really had no idea where he was, until he spotted the young men standing near a door on the far side of the room. Neither of them looked familiar. Both were staring at him with wide eyes.

“You’re awake,” the shorter of the two said, tone shocked. A beat, then more excitedly, “You’re awake!” The shorter turned to the taller. “He’s awake!” the shorter exclaimed, hitting the taller on the chest. “I told you he’d be okay.”

“Wh-Where,” he tried to ask, voice breaking painfully. He cleared his throat, sitting up properly. “Where am I?”

“An inn in Belkin,” the shorter answered, stepping towards the bed he was laying on. “We found you unconscious on the side of the road a few miles outside of town.” He knit his brows, the name of the town sounding as unfamiliar as the men in front of him. “I’m Ravi.” The name didn’t ring any bells, and a friend wouldn’t introduce themselves.

“I’m Hyuk,” the taller volunteered, seeming to snap out of his shock. Another unfamiliar name.

“What’s your name?” Ravi asked, coming to the bedside. Hyuk hovered a few feet back, eyes wide and curious.

His brows knit together as he tried to remember the answer to Ravi’s question.

“I… don’t know,” he answered after several long moments.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“How about ‘N’?” Hyuk suggested from where he sat at the foot of the bed.

“A letter? Really?” Ravi laughed.

“Because this is the Nth time you’ve stopped to help someone,” Hyuk explained, causing Ravi to roll his eyes.

“Really? That’s not his fault.” A hint of laughter remained in Ravi’s voice.

“You have anything better? It’s just until he remembers his real name,” Hyuk retorted. He ignored both of them, too caught up with his reflection in the mirror. He reached up and tugged at a bright red strand of hair. Was it really that color? Was this really what he looked like? Honey-brown eyes, full lips, an earthy sort of pallor that he didn’t know how to describe. For some reason his appearance felt _off_ but he couldn’t tell _how._ He traced his jawline then down his throat to the collar of a shirt he didn’t recognize. This was all terribly strange. Why couldn’t he _remember_? His name, his appearance, his past, his _clothes_.

A hand on his shoulder startled him out of his thoughts, causing him to flinch away and turn around, wide eyed. Ravi took a step back, holding his hands up in the air.

“Sorry,” Ravi apologized. “You zoned out.” Ravi smiled sheepishly. “We just wanted to know what you’d prefered to be called–N or Red?”

His brows knit together in confusion at the suggestions for a few moments before he reached up to touch his hair–red. Red hair. It was such an odd thought that his hair was red. He didn’t feel like his hair was red. It was–It was–He couldn’t remember what color it was, but red felt _different_. He smoothed the hair that framed his face against his cheek.

“N,” he answered, looking Ravi in the eye and dropping his hand back to his side.

“See, I told you that ‘Red’ was stupid,” Hyuk said, a wide grin spread across his lips.

-.-.-.-.-.-

“Do you remember what you were doing before you blacked out?” Ravi asked from where he’d leaned against the wall.  

“I don’t remember anything,” N said slowly, staring down at the floor and grasping for anything that might have been a memory. He’d sat back down on the bed, legs spread and his hands folded between them. “My first memory is waking up. Not even the name of this town sounds familiar.”

“You really don’t remember anything?” Hyuk asked. N shook his head. Hyuk sighed and pushed himself up from the desk chair. “I’ll go find the doctor again, see if he can help.”

-.-.-.-.-.-

“You seem to be in good health,” the doctor said to N as he pocketed the light he’d just shined into N’s eye. “Your memory loss could be caused by a number of things. When I examined you yesterday, it looked like you’d possibly had a head injury, but it could also be psychological. Regardless of the cause, you should start to remember things gradually over the next few days.” N swallowed.

“Few days?” he asked tentatively.

“Yes. Getting out and doing things will help. It might trigger a memory,” the doctor replied. N bit his lip. A few days. For some reason, he felt like that was a dangerously long time.

-.-.-.-.-.-

N found it difficult to fall asleep that night. Ravi and Hyuk had taken him out to a tavern and they’d walked around the town, but he still couldn’t remember _anything_. He couldn’t recall the names of the food he’d been served in the tavern, but he also hadn’t been hungry. He’d chalked it up as being worried, having only taken small, peckish bites after watching the way Ravi and Hyuk had eaten. There were things around him that felt familiar and foreign at the same time, things he had seen before but couldn’t name, things he could name but couldn’t remember the practical uses for. It had sent his mind reeling. He’d been worrying so much about his memory, been trying so hard to remember, that he’d felt exhausted.

They’d brought him back to the inn when they noticed how worn down he was, for which N was thankful.  But sleep didn’t want to come. His mind wouldn’t rest, he kept grasping for anything.

The hall floor creaked outside his door and N rolled over in his bed to stare at it. He could just barely make out voices. The floor creaked more and the voices grew louder–Hyuk and Ravi, N realized, returning from the pub they’d gone to after they’d brought N back.

“Hyuk, we can’t leave him like this,” Ravi hissed harshly outside the door.

“That’s what you said when we found him,” Hyuk replied. “Don’t tell me you want to stick around until N remembers something.”

“We’re the only people he knows,” Ravi pressed.

“I feel bad for N too, but sticking around won’t help any of us.”

“Jiwon wouldn’t want us to just abandon him,” Ravi said sharply. There was silence for a few moments. N sat up in his bed. “We can bring him with us. Maybe traveling will help him remember.” The idea was appealing–the doctor had said that being more active would help. Despite the fact that he couldn’t remember anything, he had a feeling that staying put in this town that he couldn’t remember wouldn’t help.

“He’s not well enough. You saw how easily he got tired tonight. He’d slow us down even more,” Hyuk countered. N stood and quickly crossed the room. He yanked the door open and the two jumped.

“Take me with you,” N said, staring into Hyuk’s eyes. “I don’t want to stay here alone. I won’t slow you down.” Hyuk sighed.

“Fine, we’ll take you to Ajol. Maybe it’ll help you remember.”

-.-.-.-.-.-

“Take this,” Hyuk said, handing N a dagger and a vial of liquid. “It’s dangerous in the hills west of Belkin.” N took them gingerly and inspected the dagger carefully. The blade looked very sharp but the weapon felt small, too light.

“Dangerous?” N asked.

“The Semol tribes that live in the hills aren’t always nice to outsiders,” Hyuk explained, smiling sheepishly.

“But they’re the least of our worries,” Ravi said, tugging on the straps of his arm guard. “Word has it that some nasty demons live in the woods.”

“Demons?” N asked, getting a sinking feeling in his stomach.

“Do demons scare you?” Ravi asked, an amused smile blooming on his lips. N stared at Ravi blankly, trying to figure out if the sinking feeling in his stomach was fear or not.

“No,” he decided after a few moments.

“Good,” Ravi said, shifting his attention to securing his sword.

“It shouldn’t be anything the average traveler can’t handle, anyway,” Hyuk cut in. Ravi scoffed, the teasing light that had been in his eyes earlier darkening.

“The average traveler,” Ravi mumbled. N shifted awkwardly, feeling discomforted by Ravi’s shift in mood. “You spout such shit sometimes,” Ravi said more solidly. N turned the dagger over in his hand a few times before looking down at his clothes to find a place to secure it.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Once he was outside the city walls and moving, the fact that N couldn’t remember anything was pushed to the far corner of his mind. He was more enthralled with taking in the landscape–the hilly fields that surrounded Belkin and extended east into a mountain range were beautiful. He could see the hills blanketed in woods to the west in the distance, but was more immediately concerned with the knee high grasses, patches of wildflowers, and the little birds in the tall shrubbery. Midday they past a herd of cattle grazing on a steep hillside, and N had insisted on stopping to marvel at the size of the beasts. Hyuk teased him for being so fascinated with the cattle, but N didn’t care at all. Being outside, surrounded by the magnificence of nature felt soothing. It set his heart at ease.

-.-.-.-.-.-

They reached the edge of the woods a few hours before sunset. They kept walking until well after sunset, stopping only briefly to light a pair of torches to ward off any predators. By the time they’d stopped for the night, the stars and the moon were peaking out from between the tree leaves. They’d made a pit fire and Hyuk cooked dinner over the fire.

“If we let Ravi cook it, he’d get distracted and burn it,” Hyuk said offhandedly as he stirred the contents of the pot.

“I would not!” Ravi objected, picking up a pebble and tossing it in Hyuk’s general direction. Hyuk dodged and broke into laughter. He grinned at N, mischief sparkling in his eyes.

“He’s burned dinner three times,” Hyuk said.

“Yah!” Ravi scolded, picking up another rock. Hyuk only laughed harder.

When Hyuk finally handed N a bowl, N stared down at it in contemplation. He knew what _this_ food was called–rice and beans–but he couldn’t remember the _taste_. He gnawed at the inside of his lip, thinking about the previous night at the tavern. He’d been so distracted by the fact that he couldn’t remember _who_ he was that he hadn’t noticed that he didn’t remember the taste of the food they’d set down in front of him.

“Is something wrong?” Ravi asked, mouth half full. N shook his head, quickly shoving a spoonful of food into his mouth.

“At least wait until you’ve swallowed your food before you talk,” Hyuk scolded Ravi before dodging another pebble.

-.-.-.-.-.-

N found sleep easy. He’d walked so much that he was truly tired and the trees in the forest felt like they were wrapping him in a protective embrace. He didn’t mind sleeping on the ground–in many ways he thought it was more comfortable than the bed at the inn. It felt more secure, more stable. The sounds of the crickets and frogs were like a lullaby, pulling him to sleep. Dreamless, peaceful sleep.

-.-.-.-.-.-

There was a weight on N’s chest making it hard for him to breath, pulling him from his sleep. He cracked his eyes open, the first thing he saw a pair of glowing yellow eyes surrounded by shadow.

“ _How the mighty have fallen_ ,” the shadow hissed.

His eyes snapped open in shock and the weight on his chest grew heavier as the shadow pressed down on him. N jerked, lashing out and striking the shadow with a shriek. It dissipated, but N’s heart was pounding so hard he’d thought it might jump out of his chest.

“What’s wrong?” Hyuk asked drowsily, drawing N’s attention. Ravi snored especially loudly. N swallowed, bringing a hand to his chest and gripping his shirt.

“I thought there was something sitting on my chest,” N answered.

“There’s nothing here,” Hyuk mumbled, dropping his head back to the ground. “You’re fine, go back to sleep.” Hyuk seemed to drift back to sleep quickly.

N couldn’t calm down enough to sleep until the sky started to brighten and the stars faded away.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Hyuk served leftovers in the morning, chewing his food sleepily as he smacked Ravi’s butt with his foot.

“He’s hard to wake up,” Hyuk explained offhandedly between bites. “He’s like this every morning.” He gave Ravi a particularly hard kick. “Get up or I’m going to eat your share,” he directed at Ravi.

“Five more minutes,” Ravi groaned.

“You said that fifteen minutes ago. Get _up_ ,” Hyuk scolded, kicking Ravi with enough force to knock him from his side to his stomach. Ravi groaned, pushing himself up.

“I’m _up_ ,” Ravi groaned, tone whiney. “I’m up.” He rubbed his eyes before standing up and stumbling away from the camp. “Gotta piss,” he mumbled in explanation. Hyuk groaned, turning to look at N.

“Sorry, he just talks without thinking until he gets food in him,” Hyuk apologized. N shook his head, a small smile spreading on his lips at the silliness of it all.

“It’s ok, I don’t mind it,” N said, because he honestly didn’t mind it at all. He found it comforting, somewhat, that Ravi was comfortable enough to let his guard down around him enough to act like that. Hyuk let out an exasperated sigh.

Ravi stumbled back to camp, still fastening his pants. Hyuk shoved a bowl at Ravi’s chest and he took it and plopped down. N waited until Ravi had swallowed a few spoonfuls before talking.

“Yesterday you said there were demons in this forest?” N asked cautiously. Ravi grunted, shoving another spoonful of food in his mouth.

“Most incidents are fakes the Semol Tribes use to scare outsiders off,” Hyuk brushed off with a small smile.

“Last night, there was a…” N paused, motioning with his hands as he tried to find the right words, “a shadow with glowing eyes sitting on my chest. I woke up because it was hard to breathe. When I hit it, it just disappeared.” He looked up, catching Ravi’s very awake and very serious expression. Hyuk and Ravi looked at each other for a few moments before Hyuk sighed and slumped down.

“We need to get warding talismans from the Semol,” Ravi said, every trace of sleep gone from his voice.

“The Semols are as much of a concern as the demons. You _know_ how much they hate outsiders,” Hyuk countered.

“One got into our camp last night. We’re lucky it didn’t take N. We need the warding talismans,” Ravi pressed. N shifted awkwardly–he hadn’t meant to start an argument. He could barely follow their back and forth, not understanding why a talisman was so important or why the Semol were dangerous.

“We don’t even know where to find a Semol village,” Hyuk retaliated, standing up and grabbing his pack. “It’d be a waste of time trying to find one.” He shoved his bowl inside the bag and turned back to Ravi. “It’s a three day hike through the hills if we keep to the road–which is _safe_. And aren’t you the one always harping about how we need to stick to the safe routes? And you want to go looking for trouble? There’s hardly any accounts of being attacked by demons _or_ Semols for people that stay on the road.”

“ _Hardly_ any,” Ravi pointed out. “We’ve already had an encounter.”

“Our chances of having another–” Hyuk started, but Ravi cut him off.

“Go _up_ ,” Ravi said firmly. “One encounter or two–this stretch of road is dangerous. If we run across any Semol, we’re going to try to get at least one talisman. We’ll need it for the trip home.”

“Fine,” Hyuk sighed in frustration. “Fine. Let’s just get moving.”

“I’m sorry,” N said, looking between the two. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No, I’m glad you did,” Ravi assured N.

-.-.-.-.-.-

The further they traveled into the woods, the rockier the terrain seemed to get. The twitter of the birds and the rustle of the leaves in the wind was comforting to N. Hyuk and Ravi walked in silence, much the same as they had most of the day before. N pulled ahead of them, staring up at the trees that lined the sides of the road, looking for the birds. His foot caught in a pit in the road and he stumbled forward. Ravi was quickly at his side, hands hovering on either side of him.

“Are you okay?” Ravi asked, expression concerned. N studied him for a few moments before smiling and straightening.

“It doesn’t even hurt,” N said truthfully, testing out the range of motion in his ankle. “I think I’m just clumsy.”

“Then you better watch where you step instead of staring at the sky,” Hyuk warned with a grin. N reached up and smoothed downed the hair that framed his face, giving Hyuk a sheepish smile.

“I guess you’re right,” N agreed. He fell back in step behind them, this time focusing on their backs. Both Ravi and Hyuk were young with tall, strong bodies. They made N feel small in comparison, but he remembered how he towered above most men in Belkin as well. Most of the residents in Belkin had shades of brown hair, but Hyuk and Ravi both had black hair. N reached up and tugged at a strand of his hair, wondering just how unusual red hair was. Neither Ravi nor Hyuk seemed to mind it much, so it couldn’t have been _that_ strange. He dropped his hand back to his side with a sigh.

“Why do the Semol dislike outsiders so much?” N asked, suddenly feeling like the silence was uncomfortable. “You’ve mentioned they don’t a few times, but never anything about why.” Ravi briefly looked over his shoulder at N before shrugging and facing forward again.

“You really don’t know anything about the Semol?” Ravi asked.

“No. The name of the people sounds as foreign to me as Belkin and Ajol,” N said. He felt a bit embarrassed to admit that aloud, but he couldn’t help what he didn’t know. Ravi sighed and rubbed the back of his head. “Why don’t they like outsiders?”

“I’ve always heard it was because they want to preserve their culture,” Ravi said.

“Preserve their culture?” N parroted, tilting his head in question.

“They’re very dedicated to their religion,” Hyuk added. “And there’s been a lot of fighting over the resources in the areas they live. They mostly live in these hills and in the fertile plains beyond.”

“So they protect themselves by shutting everything else out?” N mused aloud.

“That’s… one way of putting it,” Hyuk said. “They aren’t very common back home, so I can’t really say much about their motives.”

“And we have to pass through their lands on our way to Ajol…” N mused aloud. “Why are we heading to Ajol? You never told me,” N asked.

“It’s the next city on our way, much bigger than Belkin,” Ravi answered.

“And where are you going after Ajol?”

“Across the plains, to the Mountains of Effrashia, then to the valley that lies beyond,” Ravi said. “It’ll take about three weeks to get there.”

“How long have you been traveling already?” N asked, speeding up a bit so he was walking beside Ravi.

“About three weeks?” Ravi answered, looking up at the trees briefly.

“That’s a long journey,” N observed. “But you’re halfway there.” Ravi hummed.

“What’s waiting for me at the end is really important,” Ravi explained.

“What about you?” Hyuk asked, turning to look at N. “Do you remember anything about why you were traveling?” N diverted his gaze, looking out at the path in front of them, trying to stall a bit as he grasped for any memory. After a few moments he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“No, I don’t remember anything. I don’t even remember if it was important,” N answered.

-.-.-.-.-.-

“I think I see lights in the distance,” N said, stopping in his tracks. The sun had started to set and they’d stopped to light their torches not very long ago.

“Where?” Hyuk asked, coming to N’s side. Ravi was right behind him.

“Over there,” N said, pointing out into the woods. There were faint lights in the distance, weaving between the trees.

“I don’t think those are human,” Ravi murmured, sounding incredibly displeased. “We should keep moving.” He tugged on N’s arm, forcing him to move forward again. “Keep up a brisk pace and pray that whatever it is isn’t interested in us.”

“Right,” N murmured, looking back at the lights, getting a sinking feeling in his stomach as they faded away.

-.-.-.-.-.-

The sun had set and the stars were twinkling through the treetops, but the night was too quiet. The only crickets and frogs that N could make out were far away. The scuff of their feet on the dirt path was the loudest thing he could hear.

Then he saw a light down the path, much like the ones he’d seen earlier, but this time it was getting _closer_.

He stopped dead in his tracks, grabbing Ravi’s arm and jerking him back. Hyuk stopped too, and both turned to look at N in confusion.

“Can’t you see the light?” N asked. Ravi and Hyuk looked at each other before looking at the path in front of them. They stared for a few moments as the lights got closer.

“Do you think you can fight if you need to?” Ravi asked, turning back to N.

“I can try,” N said, pulling out the dagger that Hyuk had given him. Ravi nodded, turning to look ahead.

“Do you think we can take whatever it is?” Hyuk asked, drawing the sword that rested at his hip.

“We don’t really have a choice,” Ravi said, shaking free of N’s grip and starting to move forward again. N followed close behind, watching the lights in front of them closely. Each step made the light clearer–two eyes on a shadowy figure. N’s steps faltered as he remembered the previous night. He forced himself to keep moving forward, remembering how easy it’d been to dissipate the one that’d been on his chest. The figure stopped moving when they were a few dozen meters away, standing it’s ground. The tenseness of the air made N’s stomach swoop.

“We don’t want any trouble,” Ravi called out, continuing forward. “We’re just passing through.” The figure stayed unmoving. When they got close enough for their torch light to touch the figure, it became obvious that it was holding _something_.

“It’s got a kid,” Hyuk observed unhappily. N’s stomach knotted.

“Dammit, they’re never satisfied,” Ravi cursed under his breath before he drew his sword. “Forget what I said about not wanting trouble,” Ravi said louder. “Put the kid down, or I’m going to cut you in half.” The child–a small girl, N realized, no older than five or six–started crying. N gripped his knife tighter, glaring at the shadow. The creature turned its attention to N and he felt a shiver run down his spine. It felt like the shadow was _smiling_ at him. “Put the kid down,” Ravi warned again, but the shadow only seemed to grow more amused. It started moving forward again, not seeming to care that they were armed.

Ravi charged forward, dropping his torch and gripping his sword with both hands. He swung at the shadow’s head, cutting it off. The head and the child dropped to the ground, but the body remained standing. Ravi shifted, swinging again. Tendrils of shadow exploded from the body and caught the blade. The girl screamed, scrambling back, towards the edge of the road. When more tendrils wrapped around Ravi and pulled him in towards the body, Hyuk charged forward. The girl screamed again when Hyuk slashed at the tendrils and ran into the woods.

“Protect the girl!” Ravi yelled, ripping free of the shadows and slashing again. N nodded in shock, despite neither being able to see him, and ran into the woods after the girl. He could still hear her crying. The rustle and snap of her steps were loud in odd silence. She’d made good ground before N had run after her, and the dense trees and shrubbery seemed to decrease the reach of his torch’s light. She tripped not long after he caught sight of her again, and she screamed again as she fell down. He rushed to her side, but she tried to scramble away.

“Get away! Get away!” she screamed, picking up a rock and throwing it at N. Her aim was terrible; the rock landed a few feet in front and to the left of N. “Daddy! I want my Daddy!” N slowed down and sheathed his knife. Raising his hand into the air so she could see he was empty handed, he shushed her.

“It’s okay. I’m not trying to hurt you,” he said. “You don’t have to be afraid. I’m not like that shadow.” The girl cried harder, picking up another rock and throwing it at N. This one almost hit. N crouched down, lowering his hands in an offer to help her up.

“Get away! I want my Daddy!” the girl insisted, trying to scoot farther away from N.

“The shadow took you away from him, right?” N asked, inching towards her. “My friends are taking care of the shadow. We’ll help you find your daddy.” The girl sniffled.

“You’re outsiders,” the girl pressed, pushing herself into a sitting position. Her hair glinted auburn in the moonlight, her skin just a few earthy shades lighter than his own. N frowned, noticing the cuts and scrapes on her arms and legs–an especially bad one on her knee was oozing.

“But we don’t want to hurt you,” N reassured, outstretching his hand further. “Where is your dad? I’ll help you get back home.” The girl stared up at him for a few moments, _studying_ him. There was a horrific ear piercing screech in the distance and the girl scrambled into N’s arms, fresh tears falling, her whole body trembling as she wrapped her arms around N’s torso. He hugged her close, rubbing her back as he soothed her. Somewhere deep in his stomach, N knew that screech had belonged to the shadow. Ravi and Hyuk had killed it.

“T-the village,” the girl stuttered, her trembling hands closing around his shirt.

“Where’s the village?” N asked carefully.

“North,” she answered.

“Do you remember how to get there?”

“Kinda,” she answered.

“Can you help me get there?” She nodded into his chest. He squeezed her then pulled back slightly to look at her face. “My name is N. What’s your name?”

“Kehi.”

“I’ll get you home, Kehi.”

-.-.-.-.-.-

N made his way back the road slowly, Kehi balanced on his hip. She was still sniffling but was considerably calmer. As he got nearer to the road, he could make out the smell of blood. Concerned, he quickened his pace, Hyuk and Ravi coming into view. Both were crouched on down in the middle of the road–it looked like Ravi was doing something to Hyuk’s arm. Ravi’s head jerked in N’s direction as soon as his footsteps were audible, but he remained by Hyuk’s side.

“Are you okay?” N asked as he stepped onto the road. In the increased light, he could see that both had cuts and scrapes. Ravi was wrapping Hyuk’s arm in bandages.

“I’m fine, but the damn thing sliced up Hyuk’s forearm,” Ravi answered.

“I’ll be fine, the cuts aren’t too deep,” Hyuk reassured, waving a bottle like the one he’d given N in Belkin. It’d been drained. Kehi gripped N’s neck tighter, fidgeting against his side. He shifted her weight, getting a better grip on her.

“You found the girl. Is she okay?” Ravi asked, tying off Hyuk’s bandages and looking up at N.

“She’s got a few cuts and scrapes, and her ankle is a bit tender from tripping, but she’s fine,” N answered before turning to show her to Ravi and Hyuk. Ravi stood and came to N’s side. He looked as if he wanted to take Kehi from N’s arms. “Her name is Kehi. Kehi, these are my friends, Ravi and Hyuk.” She buried her face in N’s shoulder, refusing to look at Ravi.

“Outsiders,” she mumbled.

“They killed the shadow,” N soothed, “so it can’t hurt you anymore.”

“I wanna go home, to Daddy,” she whined, her tone a warning that she was about to cry again.

“We’ll have you home before you know it, right, Ravi?” N assured her, looking up at Ravi with a small smile only to be met with a look like Ravi couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “What?” N asked, his smile slipping away quickly.

“You know how to speak Semol-el?” Ravi asked.

“What?” N asked, brows knitting together in confusion.

“You were speaking in a different language just now–I didn’t understand single word you’d just said,” Ravi said. N stared at Ravi, mouth open in shock.

“I–I hadn’t noticed at all,” N managed after a few moments. “She just started talking and I replied. It all sounds the same to me.” Ravi sighed, stepping back and running his hand through his hair. He looked out over the path ahead before turning back to face N.

“You’re something else,” Ravi said.

“You saw the demon on the road before either of us did, too,” Hyuk said, coming to Ravi’s side.

“I did?” N said, eyes darting between Hyuk and Ravi. Ravi waved his hand dismissively in front of his face.

“That’s not important right now. We need to get Kehi home,” Ravi said. “Her family is probably worried.”

“Right,” N agreed. “She said the village is north of the road.”

“That’s helpful,” Hyuk sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

“She was scared,” N snapped, causing Hyuk to flinch. Kehi whined, tugging on N’s shirt and he forced himself to relax.

“Let’s just keep moving down the road, maybe we can find where the demon got on the road,” Ravi said.

“I agree. Kehi might recognize something,” N seconded.

-.-.-.-.-.-

N gave his torch to Ravi and moved Kehi to his back. Hyuk had given her part of one of those bottles to ease her pain–a potion, he’d had to translate–and she’d drank it reluctantly. It was several hours after sunset, but the night was no longer eerily quiet–the frogs and crickets were quite loud. They’d left the road some time ago when Kehi recognized a landmark and found a less beaten path just out of sight of the main road through the hills. It felt like they’d been walking forever when man-made walls came into view. The village gates were closed and a guard was posted outside. As they approached, the guard drew his blade.

“You speak Semol-el,” Hyuk said, turning to N. “Convince him to let us in.” N sighed, narrowing his eyes at Hyuk.

-.-.-.-.-.-

“Daddy!” Kehi cried out when she saw her father. N smiled, crouching to let her down. She ran to her father despite her ankle, her excitement overwhelming. The relief on her father’s face was clear as well.

“It seems not all outsiders are bad,” the village chief sighed. “You all risked your lives to save her.” N stood, smiling at the chief.

“I don’t think my companions know how to ignore a person in need,” N said. “They picked me up from the side of the road.” The chief snorted, turning to look at N.

“You speak Semol-el and convinced Kehi to go with you, despite how untrusting that child has been since her mother was taken,” the chief observed. “Are you from a southern tribe? Your hair…” N blinked at the chief for a few moments before looking around the village, wondering if that was a piece of his past. The architecture of the buildings were as foreign to him as Belkin’s had been, but both the chief and Kehi’s father had similar skin tone to him, had the same earthy pallor. Kehi had her father’s auburn hair, but the chief’s seemed to be a lighter red-brown peppered with gray. N sighed, turning back to the chief.

“Honestly, I don’t remember how I learned Semol-el. I don’t really remember much about my past,” N admitted. The chief’s eyes hardened for a moment, his gaze so piercing it felt like he was looking into N’s soul.

“You are a survivor of a demon attack yourself,” the chief finally said, tone serious. N swallowed, wondering if the chief’s words could be the truth. “I can see why Kehi trusted you.” N forced himself to relax. “I can’t overlook your heroism. Is there anything I can do to show my gratitude?” the chief asked. N turned to Ravi and Hyuk, who were watching the father-daughter reunion.

“The chief wants to know how he can repay us,” N said, reaching out and nudging Ravi’s shoulder. Ravi blinked a few times before looking at N.

“A warding talisman and beds to sleep in,” Ravi said, looking up at N. “We don’t want to overstay our welcome, but it’s too late to travel safely.” N nodded and turned back to the chief.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Ravi sat on the edge of his sleeping mat, turning the talisman from the village chief over in his hands. Having noticed the blood staining Hyuk’s bandages, the chief had sent Hyuk to the village doctor for proper treatment. The chief had pulled out mats and put them in an open corner in his house for the night–so he could keep a proper eye on them. Ravi seemed lost in thought, expression grave, brow tight and his lips pursed. After a few moments he rocked and held the talisman out to N.

“You should hold onto it,” Ravi said, voice hushed so he wouldn’t disturb the house’s other occupants.

“Are you sure?” N asked, tentatively reaching out and taking the talisman from Ravi.

“Yeah, you seem pretty sensitive to supernatural things,” Ravi explained. “Not having any more encounters would be ideal.” N gnawed at the inside of his lip, running his thumb over the writing on the outer edge of the talisman.

“The village chief thinks I may have been attacked by a demon and that’s why I can’t remember anything,” N said. He could feel Ravi’s gaze on him. “He also thinks I’m Semol.”

“It’s possible,” Ravi said, his tone heavy. “If you were attacked, you were lucky, regardless of your background.” N closed his hand around the talisman.

“This whole situation with Kehi and the shadow put you on edge,” N observed. Ravi squirmed, eyes darting around the room. He sighed, reaching up and rubbing the back of his neck, tilting his head up towards the ceiling.

“A demon took my sister, Jiwon,” Ravi said, voice unstable. “Seeing the demon with Kehi brought back the memories.”

“I’m sorry,” N murmured, chest suddenly feeling tight. Ravi shook his head.

“I couldn’t stop the demon that took my sister, but I was able to stop the one tonight,” Ravi said.

“Losing a sibling is hard,” N said lamely, reaching out and resting his hand on Ravi’s. Ravi met N’s gaze, his eyes lined with unshed tears.

“She’s alive,” Ravi said. “She was taken as a potential bride of the King of the Underworld.” N squeezed Ravi’s hand tighter, his heart aching at Ravi’s words.

“Is that why you want to go to the valley past the Mountains of Effrashia?” N asked tentatively.

“Yeah,” Ravi answered tightly. He swallowed before continuing. “Hyuk and I are going to the Valley of Lost Souls to find the gates to the Underworld. We’re going to get my sister back.” N’s stomach clenched and he could feel his hand starting to tremble. He gripped Ravi’s hand tighter. “You don’t have to feel like you need to go all the way with us. It’s dangerous.” N dropped his gaze to their hands.

“It’s not like I have anyplace to go. I still don’t remember anything,” N mumbled.

-.-.-.-.-.-

_Screams. Crying._

_Ignoring the cries for help made his chest tighten in regret._

_A blurry figure smirking._

_“This is the first test.”_

-.-.-.-.-.-

N woke with a start, heart pounding so hard it felt like it’d rip itself from his chest. It was  still dark out and Ravi’s snores were as loud as the previous night. He gripped his shirt over his heart, trying to calm himself. Had that been a memory or a dream? Regardless, he wasn’t sure he wanted to remember it.


	2. Chapter 2

“The cuts are still throbbing,” Hyuk complained as he ran his fingers over the bandages on his arm. A bit of blood had seeped through the bandages overnight, but it had already dried brown.

“They will for a while,” Ravi said between bites of beans and rice. “Suck it up if you can, and try to conserve potions. We don’t have many left.” They’d stopped for lunch, though the sun had already passed the midpoint in the sky. They’d left the Semol village shortly after dawn and followed the chief’s directions back to the main road.

“It’s a pain in the ass,” Hyuk grumbled, picking up his bowl.

“You mean arm,” N corrected absently after swallowing. Ravi snorted, his expression easing for the first time all day.

“That was so bad,” Ravi chuckled. N blinked at him in confusion, but the new ease in Ravi’s shoulders comforted him. Hyuk rolled his eyes and shoved a spoonful of food in his mouth.

-.-.-.-.-.-

The warmth of the campfire was comforting in a way N didn’t know how to describe. The way the fire consumed the wood in the pit fascinated him enough to forget his own sustenance, cradled in his hands.

“We should be completely out of the hills tomorrow,” Hyuk said, drawing N’s attention. He had their map spread open on the ground, his finger pointed to where he estimated they were on the path. “A few hills, and then we’ll be at Ajol either tomorrow or in the morning the day after.”

“It doesn’t feel like it’s been three days,” Ravi sighed before shoving a spoonful of food in his mouth.

“It feels like it’s been longer,” Hyuk sighed, rolling up the map. N dropped his gaze to his bowl, gnawing on his inner lip for a few moments before picking up his spoon.

“N, have you remembered anything?” Ravi asked, words muffled slightly by the food in his mouth. N paused, spoon halfway to his mouth.

“No,” N sighed, slumping his shoulders, the bottom of his spoon hitting the edge of his bowl. Hyuk elbowed Ravi and leaned over so he was almost speaking into Ravi’s ear.

“You know, I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen him slouch,” Hyuk whispered loud enough that N could hear over the crackle of the fire.

“I think it’s the first time he’s slouched since he woke up,” Ravi whispered back, mischief twinkling in his eyes. N pursed his lips and straightened his posture, not amused.

“Ya,” he called in warning. Hyuk broke into a wide grin and straightened up.

“You make it easy,” Hyuk said, reaching for his bowl of rice and beans.

“Don’t take it the wrong way,” Ravi said, a grin also on his lips. “We just don’t want you to beat yourself up over your memories. It’s obvious that it bugs you.” N scrunched his nose.

“Your method of showing camaraderie is odd,” N said before shoving his spoonful of food in his mouth. As soon as he swallowed, he continued, “Maybe I’ve just not run into anything familiar enough.”

“That could be it,” Ravi spoke slowly, thoughtfully.

“Tell me about your travels before you found me. Maybe something you saw or some place you’ve been will ring a bell,” N suggested, looking Ravi in the eye.

“You want stories?” Hyuk asked amusedly. Ravi choked and looked at Hyuk with panicked eyes. “I have stories.”

“Hyuk–” Ravi tried to stop Hyuk, reaching out and grabbing Hyuk’s shoulder. Hyuk just shoved Ravi away and continued talking, a downright mischievous smile on his lips.

“It was outside Surpain, a few days before we got to Belkin,” Hyuk said and Ravi groaned. “We camped on the river bank, the last night before we reached the city.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

_“Not my **pants**!” Ravi squawked, his voice breaking in his horror. Ravi scrambled out of the river, towards the tree he’d hung their clothes on. Hyuk burst into laughter, standing still, knee deep in the river where they’d been trying to catch fish for dinner. Ravi paused halfway up the embankment and grabbed a rock. He hurled it at the small cat-beast that had taken to using his pants as a batting toy. The creature jumped away in surprise, Ravi’s throw missing horribly, then turned to Ravi with a growl. Ravi stumbled back a few steps, seeming to realize that he was **unarmed.** The beast backed up slightly, growling lowly. Ravi didn’t move, his eyes darting between his sword and the cat-beast. _

_The beast decided Ravi wasn’t a threat and turned back to Ravi’s pants. It swiped a paw, claws extended, and managed to rip the pants off the branch. Ravi let out a strangled cry at the sound of tearing cloth, looking as if he was about to cry. Hyuk ambled past Ravi with the line of small fish he’d caught in hand._

_“Hey, cat!” Hyuk called, waving the fish around. The beast ignored him, taking to pawing at the pants. “Yo, cat! I’m talking to you!” Ravi picked up another rock and tossed it at the beast to get it’s attention. It jerked again, letting out a nasty snarl–then it saw the fish Hyuk was waving. Hyuk threw the fish as far away from their camp as he could and the cat-beast went chasing after it. Ravi bolted for his sword, mumbling his thanks to Hyuk as he passed him. As soon as his blade was in hand, Ravi chased after the beast. It swooped up the string of fish, turning to growl at Ravi once before darting off into the wood, deep into the woods–weaving between trees until it reached a thicket. When it settled down to eat, N bent down and pet its head._

_“It’s dangerous antagonizing humans. You should know better,” N teased. The beast harrumphed and turned it’s head away from N but didn’t move away from his gentle touch._

_“Its things smelled like cow hide and deer piss,” the beast explained itself. “I thought maybe it would taste good.” N burst into laughter at the explanation, laughing until he crumpled over._

-.-.-.-.-.-

There was a rustle nearby and N blinked his eyes open. The first rays of light were breaking through the leaves. More rustling and N pushed himself up to look for the source. Hyuk was rummaging through his rucksack, brows tightly knit. N dropped back down to the ground, catching Hyuk’s attention.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” Hyuk asked sheepishly. N glanced in Ravi’s general direction, his snores steady as ever.

“No, I think I was ready to wake up,” N answered groggily. “I dreamed about Ravi’s pants getting ripped.” Hyuk smiled brightly.

“I’m never going to let him live that down,” Hyuk said. “That damn cologne he bought attracted almost every predator in the area.”

“At least you made off good on the pelts and bounties,” N mumbled, shifting and slowly pushing up into a sitting position.

“That we did,” Hyuk grinned. N looked up at Hyuk, gaze lingering a moment before it flit to the still snoring Ravi. Of all the things to dream of, his travel companions and talking to animals… He’d been hoping that Hyuk’s vivid storytelling would trigger actual memories. Perhaps Hyuk’s story telling abilities were just _too_ good.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Ajol was impressive. The wall surrounding the city was intimidating in a way that made N feel incredibly small. The streets were brimming with people even though it was mid morning when they reached the city. N found himself holding onto Hyuk’s rucksack in order to not get lost in the crowds of the market. Hyuk forced a path open through the crowd, his towering height an easy motivator for people to want to get out of his way. N was also taller than most in the crowd, but there was just something about Hyuk, possibly the breadth in his shoulders, that made him look like someone to leave alone.

Hyuk ignored several inns before stopping at a three story tall stone building. The architecture was refined and classy. The lobby was tastefully decorated with expensive looking wallpaper, carved furniture, and expensive looking vases filled with equally expensive looking flowers.

“Waste of money,” Ravi mumbled when Hyuk stepped up to the front desk. Hyuk turned to glare at Ravi.

“You might not care, but _I_ want a place with a decent bath house,” Hyuk jabbed. Ravi rolled his eyes.

-.-.-.-.-.-

“We’re out,” the man at the magic protections and potions shop said in a rather bored tone of voice.

“What do you mean you’re out?” Ravi asked, exasperated.

“Exactly what I said. We’re out. Been out. Anti-demon talismans have been selling out before I can even finish a batch,” the man explained. “I can put you on the waiting list, but it’d be another week before I could get you one. I ran out of the main ingredient.” Ravi groaned, leaning forward on his elbows on the shop counter and rubbing down his face.

“We don’t have a week,” Ravi said, voice tight.

“Then you’re out of luck,” the man said. “Almost fifty people have been taken from the city over the last few months. A traveler like you only has a passing need for one of these talismans. The citizens have more use for them.” Ravi’s shoulders stiffened and he looked up at the man. N shifted awkwardly, reaching up to smooth down the hair that framed his face.

“What kind of ingredients do you need to make the talismans?” N asked nervously. The man looked at N, unimpressed.

“Flowers,” he said dryly. “A flower called moonstar. I trade with a merchant from the Induk-Semol village to the south get them, but she only comes once a month. It’s the ingredient I’m always short of.” Hyuk perked, turning away from the potions he was poking through to look at the shop owner.

“Flowers?” Hyuk asked.

“Yes. They grow abundantly in the fields to the south, but the land is all Semol territory. I’d go to pick moonstars myself, but I have no interest in getting attacked,” the man explained.

“What if we got you a crop of moonstars?” Hyuk proposed. All eyes turned to him in shock and confusion.

“You’re insane,” the shopkeeper said.

“Ravi and I are good fighters, and N speaks Semol-el,” Hyuk said, a cocky grin forming on his lips. The shopkeeper turned to N, looking as if N had grown another head. “If anyone could get you more flowers, it’d be us.”

“Does your Semol friend have connections with the Induk-Semol?” the shopkeeper asked, staring at N, eyes wide in shock. N squirmed under his gaze. Did he really give others the impression he was Semol?

“No, but that won’t be a problem,” Hyuk said, reaching towards N’s cheek. “Who wouldn’t trust an innocent face like this?” N reared back, knocking Hyuk’s hand away.

“If you can get them, then I’ll give you a talisman and pay you a commission for your trouble,” the shopkeeper said, tone clearly giving away that he didn’t think they would be able to do it.

“Oh, you have a deal,” Hyuk agreed, holding his hand out to seal the deal with a handshake.

-.-.-.-.-.-

“They have five white petals, with tips and veins a delicate light blue color,” Ravi mumbled and he crouched down and touched a flower at the edge of a field of flowers. “This looks like it’s it.” He picked the flower and stood, turning to Hyuk and N. He held it out and N took it with a ginger touch. The flower was only about an inch in diameter. They’d traveled three hours to get to the fields where the flowers grew. N had thought they would be more scarce, but the field was practically overflowing with the small flowers.

“He said a hundred would hold him over until his merchant came next,” Hyuk said as he pulled out a wood box that the shopkeeper had given them.

“We’re just going to steal them?” N asked, looking up at Hyuk.

“I wouldn’t say stealing is the right word,” Ravi said.

“They’re just wild flowers,” Hyuk agreed.

“We can see the village,” N argued, pointing to the Semol village in the distance. It was only a few hundred meters away, and he was sure that they were visible to the village watch. “These people treat the flower as a means of income.”

“We get the flowers and leave before we’re noticed,” Ravi said, crouching down again. Something moved along the top of the village wall.

“We’ve already been noticed,” N warned, grabbing Ravi’s shoulder. Something whizzed past Hyuk, causing him to flinch. N snapped his head in the direction the object traveled and swallowed nervously when he saw where it landed–an arrow lodged in the ground just a few feet behind Hyuk. “Let’s go,” N said shakily. “We have a flower for our talisman.”

“We need the money,” Hyuk pressed. “And the people at Ajol need the talismans.”

“You have no sense of self-preservation,” N scolded, turning to look back at the marksman. They were already back in firing position. “If we’re going to get them, we’re going to take them the proper way.” He stepped away from the flowers to the beaten path that led to the village gates.

-.-.-.-.-.-

“ _No_ ,” the merchant hissed, crossing her arms. The guard standing just inside the gate behind her shifted in warning. N puffed himself up.

“You’re turning down business?” N asked.

“I do business with that shopkeeper, not _you_ ,” she hissed. “If he wants more flowers then he can drag his skinny ass _here_ to negotiate the price and quantity himself.” She was a head and a half shorter than N and her hair was as fiery red as N’s was.

“We were shot at for looking at the flowers. It’s too dangerous for a shopkeeper like him to come.”

“Then he can wait until next week,” she snapped.

“You have to be aware of the situation in Ajol,” N pressed.

“Which is why I want to go there as little as possible,” she said. “We’re safe here in the middle of this field.”

“We just need a hundred. We can pick them and escort you both ways to make the sale. My companions are demonslayers. You couldn’t be in safer hands,” N offered. She peered around N to look at Ravi and Hyuk. She straightened and met N’s eyes.

“Why do you choose to live with outsiders,” she asked, the bite from earlier gone from her voice. N searched her eyes for the meaning of her words before it clicked–she thought he was Semol too.

“These two saved my life. And they didn’t hesitate to save a Semol girl who was being taken when we passed through the hills. They’re good people,” N explained. The merchant sighed.

“One hundred flowers. Be ready to go in an hour.”

-.-.-.-.-.-

“There are lights in the distance,” N observed, staring out over the fields.

“More lights?” Ravi asked, turning to look back at N.

“You see too?” the trader asked, her accent quite unlike it’d been before. N supposed she wasn’t speaking Semol-el.

“Yeah, you see them?” N asked turning towards her. She nodded, jaw set.

“Both of you have good eyes,” Hyuk said, looking back at the trader.

“It is common Semol trait,” she said, clipped. “But some sense better than others.”

“Then you can tell us more about those lights?” Ravi said. “Are they dangerous?”

“We call them Waol Fairies. Escorts of untimely death,” she said. She turned to N, her next words coming out much smoother, “We see them a lot these days. Do you remember the story of Datzar?”

“I can’t say I do,” N said, a small frown on his lips.

“The Waol Faeries are the demons that carry the victims of war to the underworld in the story of Datzar. There’s a long tradition of folklore about them in this region,” she explained. “When there’s no war, they take from the living. People who are sick, especially children and women.”

“Are they dangerous?” N asked, repeating Ravi’s earlier question.

“They are. But they do not like moonstars, so they will not come near,” she said, accent odd, words clipped.

“Then why do you need escorts?” Hyuk asked, brows knit.

“Because there are stronger demon than Waol,” she snapped, glaring at Hyuk. She turned to N, words smooth in Semol-el. “Fucking idiot outsiders,” she huffed. “Waol take the sick and weak because they are weak. But there are _fucking_ _heathens_ in Ajol that attract worse demons. Surely you felt it.”

“I haven’t, but we didn’t spend much time in the city this morning,” N said.

“The more powerful the demon, the more moonstars are needed to deter it,” she said. “It’s why we fight to protect our fields.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“It’s amazing a little flower can ward away demons,” N pondered as he stared down at the finished talisman. The tavern they’d stopped at for dinner was loud and smelled heavily of alcohol. He didn’t like the atmosphere, but Ravi and Hyuk seemed right at home. Both were shoveling food into their mouths, stopping every few bites to wash their food down with a gulp of beer. N took a more leisurely approach to eating his dinner, chewing his food thoroughly so he could savor the taste. He couldn’t remember ever eating anything like the beef that was being served–he could only remember the taste of rice and beans Hyuk made on the road and the chicken he’d had in Belkin.

“It’s not a perfect protection,” Ravi said, pausing from eating. “A determined demon will still attack even if a person has a talisman. But it helps keep opportunists away.”

“An illusion of real protection,” N mumbled.

“It’s enough for those that demons aren’t specifically after,” Ravi said before taking a big swig of his beer.

-.-.-.-.-.-

“Finally, a _bath_ ,” Hyuk rejoiced, running ahead of N and Ravi towards the inn.

“You’d think we hadn’t bathed in a week by the way he was reacting,” Ravi grumbled.

“It’s almost been,” N said amusedly, smiling up at Ravi.

“Has it? I’m kind of losing track of time,” Ravi tried to cover.

“Why are you acting so reluctant about taking a bath?” N asked. “We’re filthy.” Ravi averted his eyes, a light pink tinting his cheeks.

“I’m not reluctant,” he refuted, voice pouty. N hummed knowingly, looking ahead.

“Of course you aren’t,” N teased.

-.-.-.-.-.-

N folded his shirt, suddenly feeling self conscious. Hyuk had already stripped unabashedly and was tying a towel around his waist. N gnawed at the inside of his bottom lip when he heard Ravi’s pants drop. He felt scrawny and small next to Hyuk, and Ravi didn’t make him feel much better. It was the first time he was seeing either of them naked, and it was the first time that he, to his knowledge, was naked in front of anyone else. It felt oddly exposing in a manner that felt almost totally alien to him, like such thoughts should be foreign to him.

“Don’t look so uncomfortable in your skin,” Hyuk said, slapping N on the back. “We’re all guys here. It’s nothing none of us haven’t seen before.”

“Right,” Ravi agreed dryly, balling up his clothes and shoving them into a cubby hole, a towel already wrapped around his waist. N glanced at Ravi, swallowing when he saw a magical inscription tattooed just above Ravi’s right elbow and a second on the inside of his left forearm. “Let’s get this over with,” Ravi said, turning to walk past N–a third inscription along his collarbone. N wondered if Jiwon was the reason he’d gotten them.

“Come on,” Hyuk directed, “We need to scrub down.”

“Right,” N agreed, shoving his shirt into a cubby and taking off his pants. He quickly tied a towel around his waist and followed Hyuk into the bath. Ravi was already at one of the basins along the side wall, scrubbing at his arm with a bar of soap. Hyuk settled beside Ravi, and N went to Ravi’s other side. The water in the basins was cool but the soap had a pleasant scent. It felt good to wipe away all the dirt and grime that had built up over the last few days on the road. N hadn’t realized how much dirt there _was_ but some of the glow returned to his skin as he scrubbed.

Hyuk finished scrubbing first and headed over to the steaming pool of water to soak, careful to keep his injured arm out of the water. Ravi turned to leave the bathhouse as soon as he’d finished scrubbing. N didn’t know what came over him, but he reached out and grabbed Ravi’s arm. Ravi paused and turned back to look at N.

“We’ve been on the road for a few days. Soaking in the hot water would feel good on your muscles,” N said, an encouraging smile on his lips. Ravi stared at N in silence, eyes studying him carefully, almost entranced. Ravi suddenly swallowed, lip trembling when he opened his mouth to speak.

“You’re… really beautiful,” Ravi mumbled lamely, the words catching N completely by surprise.

“Huh?” As soon as the word passed N’s lips, his vision went spotty.

_“Do you know how beautiful you are?” A finger brushed under N’s chin. The face was blurred, but the voice deep and melodic. A toothy grin. “You don’t?” The voice was tinted with mock surprise. “Our type never does until we’re told. Vanity is something you were taught to avoid, wasn’t it?” A hand cupping his cheek. “I’ll make a deal with you.”_

“N? Are you okay?” Ravi asked, very concerned, drawing N out of the memory. He glanced around, startled, heart pounding. He’d stumbled, was propped against the wall of the bath, the majority of his weight resting on his outstretched arm, Ravi’s hand burning hot on his ribcage where he’d tried to catch N. Ravi’s other hand awkwardly hovered a few inches away from N’s bicep. “Hey, are you okay? What happened?” N floundered for words for a few moments, mouth flapping, but nothing formed coherently enough in his mind to come out. He closed his mouth and swallowed.

“I remember someone telling me that before,” N finally managed. “But the memory is vague.”

“Maybe we should skip the bath. You should rest,” Ravi suggested, coming closer to N and pulling him into a proper standing position. N gripped Ravi’s arms to steady himself. He shook his head, looking up at Ravi, the worry in his eyes filling N’s gut with guilt.

“Help me to the bath. I was looking forward to it.”

“If you insist,” Ravi sighed.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Just outside the door to their room, N tugged at Ravi’s shirt. The whole time they’d sat in the bath Ravi’s words and the memory they evoked had been running through his mind. If he didn’t speak up now, he suspected it’d be hard to sleep. Ravi paused and turned to look at him, eyes questioning.

“Can we talk?” N asked quietly.

“Sure,” Ravi said before turning to nod Hyuk off. As soon as the door shut behind Hyuk, Ravi fidgeted nervously, turning back to N. “What did you want to talk about?”

“Did you really mean it when you said I was beautiful?” N asked, his gut clenching anxiously. He didn’t quite understand his physical reaction to the idea, but he supposed it had something to with what he remembered–that he’d been taught to avoid vanity. Somewhere deep in the back of his mind, the idea of being _different_ or _special_ also wasn’t a virtue, wasn’t for _him_.

Ravi flushed red and dropped his gaze to the ground. He squirmed, fidgeted as the wheels in his head visibly turned in an effort to formulate an answer. He calmed, folded his hands in front of his crotch, tongue darting across his bottom lip, still flushed.

“Yeah,” Ravi managed to squeak out and N felt his face heat up. “I know it was an awkward thing to say to another guy. I’m sorry, it just slipped out.”

“No, it’s helped me remember something,” N tried to ease. “I’ve been called beautiful before, but I don’t think it was ever a word I used to describe myself.”

“Maybe handsome is a better word?” Ravi suggested, his ears tinting pink.

“I think that suits you and Hyuk better,” N mused aloud. Ravi looked away, bringing a hand up to cover his face, his other arm folding across his chest. “It just seems odd to label my appearances. For some reason, I feel like that didn’t ever matter.”

“But you are,” Ravi mumbled, peeking at N through his fingers, “beautiful–handsome–” He covered his eye again, turning away more completely. N felt his cheeks warming again. “I keep digging myself deeper. This is so awkward.” N swallowed, looking Ravi over carefully.

“Today was the first time since I woke up that I saw someone with the same color hair as me,” N said carefully, voice trembling ever so slightly. “I’ve been very aware of our physical differences and felt–out of place. Maybe it’s awkward but–thank you.” Ravi straightened, lowering his hand so both arms were across his chest, expression serious.

“You’re the kind of guy that would make Jiwon blush with just a glance. I think she’d like you,” he said, tone heavy. N felt his cheeks heating up even more.

“I’d like to meet Jiwon,” N said, almost a whisper, reaching up to smooth down the hair that framed his face. “I don’t want to stay in Ajol.”

-.-.-.-.-.-

_N sat next to Ravi on the riverbank as Ravi threw stones at the water. Sometimes they skipped, but more often than not, they sank to the depths with a proper plunk and splash. Ravi’s eyes were red, bloodshot, and fresh tear tracks glinted on his cheeks in the light of the setting sun. N wanted to hold him, to tuck him into his arms and sooth away Ravi’s worries with gentle touches and words of solidarity._

_“It’s rough right now, but things will be okay in the end,” N offered lamely, resisting every urge to reach out and touch Ravi. He wished with every fiber of his being that this was the type of pain he could take away._

_“I’m such a fucking useless idiot,” Ravi cursed under his breath, picking up a particularly large stone and chucking it at the river with all his strength. There was rustling behind them, scuffing of dirt and rocks, snapping twigs._

_“Beating up the river won’t bring her back,” Hyuk said from behind them. “And stop blaming yourself. It wasn’t your fault.”_

_“I slept through the whole damn thing,” Ravi snapped, his anger at himself boiling over and causing N to flinch._

-.-.-.-.-

There was a nagging feeling in the back of N’s mind that prevented him from staying asleep. Something felt _off_. Something felt incredibly off. He rolled over in his bunk in an attempt to get more comfortable so he could fall back asleep, but there was a tugging in the back of his mind. Perhaps it was the dream he’d had about Ravi being upset. The thought of Ravi being that upset made his stomach flip, but the more he went over the dream, the less N felt like _that_ was the reason he couldn’t fall back asleep. He rolled over again, closing his eyes. It was something in the air–not a smell, but maybe an energy.

The sound of crying drifted to his ears, muffled sobs in the distance. His eyes snapped open and he bolted up, hitting his head on the top bunk. N hissed as he brought his hands to his forehead. Hyuk grunted above him, the bed creaking as he shifted. N shook off the pain and focused. It was faint, but he could make out the sound of crying.

He stood and reached up to nudge Hyuk through the safety bars of the top bunk. Hyuk grunted again and rolled away, but N wouldn’t have it. Using the bottom mattress as a boost, he reached over the bars to give Hyuk a proper shake. Hyuk rolled to face him, cracking his eyes open to glare at N.

“What?” Hyuk asked, voice full of sleep and annoyance.

“Something feels off,” N said curtly.

“Like how?” Hyuk groaned.

“It’s hard to describe–it’s like a nagging feeling–Get up,” N tried to explain, hating how he couldn’t.

“Maybe it’s indigestion. Go back to sleep,” Hyuk waved off, rolling onto his back and closing his eyes.

“Ya!” N scolded, reaching out and shaking Hyuk again. “It doesn’t feel right. Something is wrong, and I hear someone crying.” Hyuk’s eyes snapped open and he blinked twice before rolling onto his side to look at N.

“Crying?” Hyuk asked.

“Yes,” N asked, a bit frustrated. “Come with me to investigate. I don’t want to go alone.” Hyuk sighed, pushing himself up.

“Fine,” Hyuk agreed before swinging his legs over the safety bars and hopping down. He looked over at the bed Ravi was sleeping on, snoring. “Forget about him, it’d take too long to wake him up.”

“Are you sure?” N asked, crossing to Ravi’s bed.

“He sleeps like the dead. You’ve seen how hard it is to wake him in the morning–It’s worse when it’s the middle of the night,” Hyuk assured. “Come on, let’s get to the bottom of this quick.” N hummed, biting his lip nervously as he stared down at Ravi. Surely Ravi would be alright on his own, but he still had a nagging feeling in the back of his mind. It was like his dream was playing out in real life. Hyuk put a hand on N’s shoulder, drawing him out of his thoughts. “Come on.”

-.-.-.-.-.-

“This way,” N directed, tugging Hyuk onto the third floor. “I think it’s coming from this floor.”

“I can finally hear it,” Hyuk mumbled. They rounded the corner out of the stairwell and stilled–At the far end of the hall, a boy no older than eight was hugging a shadowy figure.

“Mama, I missed you so much,” N just barely made out, the boy’s voice soft and tearful.

“ _I missed you too_ ,” a breathy hiss sounded, so quiet N almost missed it. Hyuk lurched forward, drawing the knife he’d fastened to his waist just in case. The child flinched when he saw Hyuk and buried himself in the shadowy figure.

“Get away from the kid,” Hyuk hissed, closing in quickly. N darted forward, stomach flipping. The figure stood, hand coming to the boy’s head and pressing it against its thigh.

“Mama–” the boy whined, burying his face in the shadow.

“That’s not your mom,” Hyuk said sharply. The figure tilted its head, it’s gaze meeting N’s and it’s features becoming more distinct, more human. The figure smirked, the corners of its eyes crinkling in amusement. N stopped mid-step, his vision and strength faltering–

_“I’m not sure whether I should call you selfless or selfish. Maybe I should just call you stupid.” The words were deep and melodic and the lips they spilled from had the most saccharine smile._

N stumbled–he _knew_ that smile. Hyuk lunged at the creature, but he was knocked back by a ripple of energy and crashed into the floor, his knife skittering to a halt at N’s feet. Trembles wracked N’s body when the energy hit him–it was familiar, dark, cold. It made his insides twist and his chest tighten as if just existing in the same space as that energy was a sin. The creature–the demon–crossed its arms over its chest. Hyuk groaned, taking a moment to regain himself before he scrambled for the knife.

“Get away from the kid,” Hyuk warned again, getting to his feet. The demon scoffed and reached down to pet the boy’s hair.

“Let’s go home,” it–he–said to the child, voice so familiar to N. The boy nodded and tugged on the demon’s leg. Completely dismissing Hyuk, the demon turned, shuffling the boy to the other end of the hall. Hyuk charged again. The demon ran it’s hand across the boy’s eyes and turned, catching Hyuk’s wrist as the boy fell to the ground, asleep. N swallowed and stepped forward, pushing down his fears and drawing his own dagger.

He charged at the demon as he jerked Hyuk in closer. Hyuk struggled to pull out of the demon’s grasp, or at least strike it with his knife. When N was within striking distance, the demon flung Hyuk at him, and the two stumbled back into the wall. N barely had time to register the sound of his dagger hitting the floor before the demon was in front of them again, grabbing Hyuk’s face. Hyuk went slack, his legs giving out. The demon tossed Hyuk to the side, leaving nothing between him and N.

N pressed back against the wall, closing his fists as he solidified his resolve to fight despite everything. The demon stepped forward, reaching out to brush N’s cheek and pinning him to the wall. The touch seared, but N forced himself to remain still. The shadows on the demon’s face faded, revealing a beauty unlike anything he’d seen since waking up–he didn’t know what he’d been expecting, but it wasn’t this. The demon smiled, eyes crinkling into crescents, it’s appearance so familiar, so _bright_.

“Let’s not fight, hm? It’s not an even match,” the demon said, voice pitched up and sugary. N couldn’t find words, his mind was reeling. He was terrified–if he had been attacked by a demon before–if this was that demon– “I’m just doing my job.”

“Why–” N managed, the word squeak-like. He swallowed and tried again, “Why do you want the boy?” The demon’s smile brightened, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

“Payment for fulfilling my end of the deal with his father,” the demon answered. N’s stomach knotted nastily.

“He’s just a kid–” N hissed. The demon silenced him with a finger on his lips, the touch burning.

“A deal is a deal,” the demon said, leaning in. “And I always see them through. Though I’m impressed that you were able to break the sleep spell I’d put everyone under, simple interference like this won’t stop me.” N swallowed. That explained why no one else had come out of their rooms to investigate. “You should know just as well as anyone that a demon is bound to his word.” The demon’s smile had turned wicked, causing N’s stomach to flip.

“You made a deal with me, didn’t you?” N asked sharply.

“Oh?” the demon said with mock surprise, pulling back slightly. “What gives you that idea?”

“I remember you,” N hissed. “You offered to make a deal with me.”

“What deal?” the demon asked, mockingly. N stuttered but couldn’t form words–hadn’t and couldn’t remember. “What kind of deal would I possibly want to make with you?”

“You wouldn’t taunt me like this if you hadn’t,” N hissed, gaining enough courage to lean closer to the demon. The demon cackled, stepping back.

“I think you underestimate the pleasure I get from seeing humans squirm,” the demon managed between laughs. He regained himself and straightened, expression chillingly serious. “But I really can’t stall anymore.” N lunged at the demon, fist raised in a last ditch effort to save the boy. He had to try even if he knew the demon could toss him around like a rag doll. The demon caught his wrist and twisted it, his other hand wrapping around N’s neck. The back of N’s head hit the wall with an audible crack and his world went spinning, the demon’s grip tightening. His vision grew spotty, the edges growing dark. “This meeting was premature.” Everything went black.


	3. Chapter 3

_Two boys were running towards an old, run down bridge that crossed a river._

_“You know better than to go on that bridge,” N called out, reaching up to grasp a thin branch from one of the trees lining the road and breaking it off. The snap of the branch breaking drew the attention of one of the boys, and he stopped just short of the bridge and looked back at N in curiosity. Moments later there was a crack, splash, and yelp as the bridge gave way under the other boy and he fell into the river._

-.-.-.-.-.-

_“You know the rules. There is only so much I can do while maintaining equal balance,” the saccharine smile had dropped, and his eyes were filled with annoyance._

-.-.-.-.-.-

_“I know you’re worried, but you need to remember your limits.” Sharp feline eyes._

-.-.-.-.-.-

_A young man hoisted a toddler up and placed the child on the bed with his mother and a newborn. The toddler stared at the baby in awe for a few moments before cautiously reaching out and touching the baby’s head. The mother smiled and reached out to ruffle the toddler’s hair._

-.-.-.-.-.-

He shifted, blinking slowly to adjust to the candle light. Puzzlingly, he could make out Hyuk’s legs. When the reason _why_ he could see Hyuk’s legs came crashing back, N bolted up. Both the demon and the boy were gone. The realization made him want to vomit. They hadn’t stood a chance, and the boy–N slammed his fist into his thigh, swallowing everything down. Hyuk was still unconscious. N couldn’t save the boy, but Hyuk–Hyuk, he could help.

He crawled the short distance to Hyuk and grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him, dully noting that the bandages on Hyuk’s arm from the last demon fight were soaked through with blood. Hyuk groaned, shifting away from N and curling into himself, protecting his injured arm. N persisted, tugging Hyuk onto his back and reaching out to gently smack Hyuk’s cheek. Hyuk groaned again, knocking away N’s hand as his eyes fluttered open.

“Thank God, you’re okay,” N mumbled, pulling back. Hyuk’s brows knit together in confusion and he pushed himself up, looking around. He swallowed, the confusion in his eyes tinting with worry and fear.

“N, what are we doing in the hall?” N’s stomach flipped.

-.-.-.-.-.-

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” Ravi practically yelled. N flinched, biting his lip.

“We thought it’d take too long to wake you up,” N answered truthfully. Ravi was so angry over it that N felt guilty he hadn’t insisted they’d at least try to wake him. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he expected this kind of reaction.

“But I don’t think it would’ve mattered even if we had. It completely erased my memory of the encounter,” Hyuk added, wringing his hands. He was seated on the bottom bunk behind N. “I don’t think we’ve ever run across a demon with that kind of power before.” N swallowed, clenching his fists.

“It could have killed you,” Ravi barked, stepping around N to Hyuk. He grabbed the wrist of Hyuk’s bandaged arm, tugging it up for emphasis. “You’re lucky it just reopened this and wiped your memory.” Hyuk ripped his arm from Ravi’s grasp and shoved him back with a glare.

“And it could have killed you too, if you’d come,” Hyuk snapped back.

“He–It, didn’t seem interested in us. Just the boy,” N interrupted. “It was a targeted attack.”  Ravi and Hyuk’s attention snapped to N. “It said the boy was _payment_ for fulfilling a deal.”

“You _talked_ with it?” Hyuk asked, shocked. N squirmed, averting his gaze.

“Briefly, after it knocked you out. He–it, it seemed like the type to enjoy getting a rise out of people.” Ravi sighed, stepping away from Hyuk and running a hand through his hair in frustration.

“So you’re both alive because it wanted you to squirm in the aftermath,” Ravi said hollowly. He dropped his hand back to his side and stepped towards his bed. “Get your things. We should hit the road.”

“Ravi–” N started, but the words dried up when Ravi turned to him with dark eyes. He’d made a mistake not waking Ravi up.

-.-.-.-.-.-

“If we keep heading northwest, there’s a village along the Teyer River where we can hire a boat to cross,” Hyuk said, looking out over the plains surrounding the village. “We should reach it by nightfall, but a lot of the land from here on is farm land, so I don’t think it’ll be much of a problem if we don’t.”

“Let’s push to make it today,” Ravi said, starting down the path that led away from the city. His tone wasn’t any more pleased than when they’d left the inn. Hyuk sighed in exasperation, haphazardly folding his map and shoving it in his bag.

“He can’t keep going like this,” Hyuk mumbled. “Every time someone gets taken, he feels guilty whether we could have done anything or not.” N looked up at Hyuk, brows knit.

“You don’t feel the same?” N asked. “Thinking about the little boy makes me want to cry.”

“Of course I feel bad, but–but I don’t let it eat at me like Ravi does,” Hyuk replied, turning to look at N. “If I did, I don’t know if I could keep my head up. Isn’t it better to dwell on the people we _could_ save?”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The sun felt good on N’s skin and the farm fields were full of interesting plants he couldn’t remember the names of, but Ravi’s sour mood had prevented N from getting absorbed in the scenery. Ravi was always in his periphery, shoulders tense, frown set on his lips, eyes heavy, always a few steps ahead of N and Hyuk. N reached out and brushed his hands on the leaves of the plants that lined the road, admiring how _tall_ they were.

Of all the things he couldn’t remember, his inability to name familiar objects frustrated him the most. When he ran across items he couldn’t name or didn’t know how to use, he usually kept quiet, waiting until the others provided him with the information in passing. Overall, he supposed he was doing better. His memories were starting to flicker back slowly, though he could barely understand what to make of them. He could remember children, but he couldn’t clearly make out their faces in the dreams, nor could he recall how he was related to them. He could _guess_ at his relation with the demon, though, and that made his stomach churn.

“What is this called?” N asked, his curiosity finally overtaking him, perhaps to distract him from darker thoughts. Hyuk turned to him, brows raised in disbelief.

“You don’t know what this is?” Hyuk asked, tone mocking. N ripped part of a leaf off a plant and tossed it at Hyuk.

“Forget I asked,” N sighed, turning to look at the wall of plants lining the road.

“You really don’t know?” Ravi asked, coming to a stop and looking back at N. N stilled, gaze set on the leaf he was touching, Ravi ever in his periphery.

“No. But it looks familiar. Is it a common crop?” N asked, voice quiet.

“It’s sweet corn,” Ravi said.

“Sweet corn,” N repeated quietly.

“Back in our village, a farmer grows an acre of the stuff every year. It makes a good hiding spot during hide and seek,” Hyuk added.

_The tops of the corn plants swayed to the rhythm of crunching footsteps. “Stay out of my field, you rascals!” Happy laughter as two boys emerged victorious from the cornfield, arms full of apples._

“Only _you’d_ think a cornfield was a good hiding place,” Ravi said dryly, drawing N out of the fragment of a memory. Ravi’s expression had softened.

“The only adult in the village crazy enough to chase us in there was the priest,” Hyuk defended, a mischievous smirk spreading on his lips.

“Only because he got tired of hearing about fruit thieves,” Ravi rebuttled, fighting down a smile of his own and failing.

“The best fruit is the fruit you have to work hard to get,” Hyuk said, eyes glinting with something only Ravi likely understood. Ravi snorted, bringing a hand to cover his mouth as he suppressed a laugh.

“You used to be a little brat,” N said, narrowing his eyes at Hyuk. “Didn’t you?”

“What do you mean used to?” Ravi laughed. “The only thing that’s changed is his size.”

-.-.-.-.-.-

Hyuk spread the map out on the table, using plates and mugs to secure the corners of the map. They’d made it to the village after sunset. The tavern owner also ran the local inn and had herded them into the tavern as he prepared a room for them. N poked at the fish on his plate as Hyuk leaned in close to Ravi, pointing at the map. N took a cautious bite, not entirely sure if he liked the taste or texture, but he swallowed anyway. He took another bite, too hungry to really care if he liked the food or not.

“We’re here,” Hyuk said, finger by a line on the map. “At dawn we’ll hire a boat to take us across the river.” Ravi groaned in protest and Hyuk elbowed him in warning. “And then we’ll head west towards the mountains.” Hyuk moved his hand along the map, following a series of dots that N figured represented villages and cities. “There’s a lot of villages along the way, so as long as we’re making our way to Tubana, we’ll be fine. From there we can take the pilgrim’s path through the mountains to the temple at Effrashia.” Hyuk traced a line down a mountain range. N swallowed and leaned over his plate to get a good look at the map. This was the first time he’d taken a good look at the map, only ever giving cursory glances over Hyuk’s shoulder before.

“So ultimately we’re going south?” N asked, reaching out and retracing the path Hyuk had laid out.

“Yes. We’re following trade and travel routes to the west, then taking the pilgrimage road to the holy temple in Effrashia,” Ravi answered.

“But following the river south would be faster,” N observed. “Why can’t we hire a boat to take us down the river instead of across?”

“That’s what I said when we got the map two weeks ago,” Hyuk said, looking at Ravi unimpressed.

“The route we’re going is safer,” Ravi said sternly. “There’s villages and cities all along the route where we can rest and get supplies. The roads are well traveled so we can’t get lost–”

“I won’t get us lost,” Hyuk interrupted, the air between Hyuk and Ravi growing tense. N straightened, grabbing his mug of beer and choking down a gulp in an attempt to ease his growing unease, only to grimace at the bitter taste.

“It’s not just about getting lost. I need us to make it there safely,” Ravi rebuttled, holding Hyuk’s glare with a glare of his own. “I need to make sure we have a safe path back.” N swallowed a lump in his throat down, tapping his finger on his fork as he thought of some way to break the tension.

“Why is it dangerous to go down the river?” N asked, hoping the question didn’t worsen the situation.

“He’s afraid of a forest,” Hyuk spat, looking at N, eyes hard.

“I’m not afraid. It’s just more risky. It’s full of powerful beasts and leads to dangerous mountain terrain,” Ravi growled.

“You’re willing to risk your life fighting demons to save strangers but aren’t willing to go into a forest of beasts?” N asked, confused. Ravi turned to N, mouth flapping but seemingly unable to find words. “You and Hyuk are both capable fighters.” Ravi closed his mouth and swallowed.

“They’re beasts, not demons,” Ravi said quietly. “I don’t want to fight things that aren’t posing an active threat to people. I don’t want to kill things needlessly.” Hyuk rolled his eyes in exasperation and grabbed his beer mug, chugging it down. “Besides, there’s a legend we’ve even heard of at home, about a city-destroying wyrm that sleeps in the woods that I’d rather not disturb.”

“That’s fair enough,” N said gently. Hyuk slammed his mug down and called to the tavern maid to bring him more beer. “But I don’t understand your motivation. You’re constantly trying to find ways to ward off demons despite just saying you’d fight one if it was an active threat. Aren’t all demons your enemy?” Ravi sighed, slumping forward and grabbing his mug. He pulled it towards his body as if to use it as a shield against N.

“I want the talismans for my sister, for the journey home,” Ravi said, so quiet that N almost couldn’t hear him over the ruckus at the table beside them. “I don’t want her to have to worry about demons ever again.”

“I haven’t taken the talismans off since you gave them to me,” N said, frown set solidly on his lips. “The demon from last night didn’t even seem to care about them.” Silence fell over the table. After a few beats, Ravi chugged his beer, signaling the tavern maid when he put it down.

“Going down the river would save at least a week, probably two,” Hyuk said coldly. “We would get to Jiwon faster, even if the journey is tougher.”

“But we can get back up in Effrashia,” Ravi protested, tone suggesting he was wearing down.

“You’re making the pilgrimage to Effrashia?” the tavern maid asked as she came around to Ravi’s side. She placed two new mugs on the table and took away the empty ones.

“Yes, we’re heading to Effrashia,” Hyuk answered, his expression softening as he looked up at her.

“There’s been unrest in the villages west of the Teyer. I’ve heard there’s been blood shed over new laws the local lord enacted,” she warned, resting her hand on the back of Ravi’s chair.

“There’s fighting? How bad?” Ravi asked, turning to look at her, concern knit in his brow.

“If I was you, I’d swing around far to the north to completely bypass the trouble. Though it adds a few days to the journey,” she advised. Ravi groaned, turning back to the table and covering his face.

“Thank you for the warning,” Hyuk said, smiling up at the woman. “I’m glad we stopped here for the night.”

“Oh it’s nothing. Ain’t no use in pilgrims getting caught up in that,” she said before stepping back. “Now you get back to enjoying your meal.” She made for the next table, swooping up the empty beer mugs.

“Given what’s going on across the river, going south now might just be the safest route,” N mused, picking up his fork again.

“I agree. Faster, too,” Hyuk chimed in, picking up his fork and stabbing it into his fish. “It’s two against one now.”

“ _Fine_ ,” Ravi grit out. “We’ll go down the river, but _you’re_ finding us a boat.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

_“Let’s just stick to the established routes,” Ravi dismissed. “There have to be reasons people don’t go down the river to get to Effrashia.”_

_“We’re going to the gates of the underworld, and you’re worried about beasts and demons?” Hyuk scoffed._

_“We have to get there in one piece,” Ravi asserted._

_But the worst monsters were in the valley._

-.-.-.-.-.-

N tried the close the door behind him as quietly as he could, but it insisted on creaking. He flinched, hoping it hadn’t woken the others. He paused for a moment to listen for any sign of movement before he went down the stairs next to their room and out into the cool night air. He didn’t wander far from the inn, turning his gaze skyward. The dream had been a simple one, a regurgitation of the conversation at the dinner table, but for some reason it struck home to him in a way he didn’t understand. He wasn’t able to go back to sleep because of it–not with it piled on top of the conversation with the demon he’d been trying so hard not to think about–so he’d decided to get fresh air. The stars were gorgeous, the sky so expansive.

Footsteps sounded behind him and he whipped around. Ravi was descending the stairs of the inn, groggily rubbing at his eyes. When he noticed N, he dropped his hand to his side. After reaching the bottom of the stairs, he took a few steps towards N then stilled.

“I thought you were sound asleep,” N said.

“Needed to piss,” Ravi mumbled, eyes still heavy with sleep. N laughed at the crude honestly. Sleepy Ravi was a brutally honest Ravi. “What are you doing?”

“Just getting some fresh air,” N answered.

“Can’t sleep?” Ravi asked, taking a step closer.

“No, I was hoping the night air could help quiet my mind,” N answered.

“Is something bothering you?” Ravi asked, taking the final few steps to be by N’s side.

“Oh, just the usual things,” N said, looking up at the night sky again.

“Your memories?” Ravi asked. N hummed. Ravi reached out and placed a hand on N’s shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. “You’ve remembered a bit, right? It’ll all come back in time.” N dropped his gaze back to Ravi, noting the concern there.

“I’ve started to remember things, bit by bit, you know, blurry fragments,” N said. “Nothing I can make real sense of.”

“It’ll come,” Ravi assured, then after a beat, “Have the stories and travels helped at all?”

“Sometimes,” N said, a small smile spreading on his lips, his cheeks warming slightly in embarrassment as be continued, “but other times it fills my dreams with you and Hyuk.”

“About us?” Ravi asked, tone surprised. N hummed, reaching up smoothing the hair that framed his face.

“I worry about you, and maybe that spills into my sleep,” N mused, words practically a mumble.

“Worry about us? We’ve had a few incidents but you don’t need to worry,” Ravi said, squeezing N’s shoulder again. N shook his head.

“Physically you’re fine, but…” N paused to find the right words. “Sometimes your shoulders look so heavy with the burden you’ve given yourself.”

“Saving Jiwon isn’t a burden,” Ravi said tightly, his grip weakening on N’s shoulder.

“But your guilt is,” N said, quickly catching Ravi by the shoulder before he could pull away. “Last night–when we were fighting the demon, no one came out into the hall despite the noise. It said something about a sleep spell. If the same happened with Jiwon–” Ravi jerked back, hurt in his eyes and shoulders tense. N’s heart sank. He hadn’t meant to upset Ravi again.

“Don’t–” Ravi choked out.

“I’m sorry–I’m sorry I didn’t wake you up,” N rushed out, feeling as if he was getting overwhelmed, like he’d cry if Ravi shook him off, if Ravi rejected him, if he ruined the small bond he’d built up over that last few days. “I’m sorry, I-I crossed a line. I-I–” Ravi softened with a sigh and jerked N into a hug. N stiffened, tears welling, completely unsure what to do with his hands.

“I’m sorry too,” Ravi mumbled, squeezing N. “For worrying you.” They stayed like that for several long, awkward moments, N trembling slightly and gnawing on the inside of his lip as he tried to calm himself down. His fingers twitched as he slowly raised his arms and returned the hug. He gathered every bit of courage he could, to address what he’d been trying to push from his mind all day.

“I knew the demon from last night, I remembered him,” N admitted shakily. Ravi stiffened. After a moment he pulled away, hands coming to N’s shoulders.

“You _knew_ it?” Ravi asked, eyes wide with disbelief.

“I remember his smile,” N said. Ravi’s grip tightened. “He–It pretended it didn’t know me, but–but I think it just wanted to mess with me.”

“It erased Hyuk’s memory. Do you think it erased yours?”

“Maybe,” N mumbled. He paused for a moment, drawing more courage. “I think I made a deal with it,” N said, words quiet. Ravi’s grip tightened, his nails digging into N’s shoulders. “Maybe my memories were the payment.”

“Why?” Ravi’s voice carried a horrified tremble. “Why with a demon–”

“I _don’t know_ ,” N snapped. “It bothers me too. Just being in that thing’s presence made me feel filthy. I must have been desperate.” Ravi sighed, relaxing.

“I hope whatever the reason was, it was worth it,” Ravi said.

“I hope so too,” N mumbled, bowing his head and staring at their feet.

“Don’t–Don’t worry about it too much,” Ravi tried to comfort, his words tight. “It’s–in the past. You already paid your debt to it. I can tell you aren’t a bad person.” N swallowed thickly, bringing a hand to Ravi’s bicep and gripping the sleeve of his shirt.

“Thank you.” Maybe, just maybe, he could sleep easier with this off his chest.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Getting up in the morning was difficult. Once N had found peaceful sleep, he’d wanted to keep sleeping. For the first time N felt sympathetic towards how difficult it was for Ravi to get up in the morning. Hyuk had to drag them both out of bed and down to the docks. The sun was barely starting to rise, but the villagers that made their livelihood from the river were already up and bustling around the docks. N hadn’t quite been able to fully wake up even at the dock and Ravi was practically asleep on his feet, so Hyuk had left them at the edge of the village while he went to negotiate for a boat. Ravi propped himself up by leaning on N’s back, face buried in N’s shoulder and bag resting on the ground at his feet.

“How are you so awake?” Ravi grumbled. “I fell asleep before you.”

“Maybe you’re a sloth,” N said, reaching up to rub at his eyes.

“How is Hyuk so energetic? The sun isn’t even up yet,” Ravi grumbled, leaning more of his weight onto N. N leaned back in an effort not to stumble forward.

“When isn’t Hyuk energetic,” N said dryly.

“Damn his youth,” Ravi groaned. Hyuk turned from the man he was talking to at the docks and started back towards N and Ravi.

“He’s coming back,” N warned, elbowing Ravi. Ravi straightened with an _oof_ and knocked N with his shoulder. N knocked him back with more force. Ravi hissed, hand coming up to rub at his shoulder.

“Aren’t you two acting friendly this morning,” Hyuk observed aloud when he was only a few feet away.

“N started it,” Ravi said, voice a bit less tired than it’d been moments before. N knocked into him again with playful annoyance.

“He was using me as a pillow,” N corrected. Hyuk raised his eyebrows, shooting Ravi a questioning look.

“Was getting up this early worth it?” Ravi asked, completely ignoring the look Hyuk was giving him.

“There’s a trade ship heading to the city of Dalnisia that’ll stop at the village tomorrow. It’s our best bet to get down the river. The fishermen said we should be able to ride for a fee and labor,” Hyuk said.

“So we’re stuck here for another day,” Ravi sighed.

“It’s probably good. We can take this chance to earn some money. We’ll need it to stock up in Dalnisia. There’s only a few small farming villages between it and the woods.” Hyuk said.

“Do you already have something in mind?” Ravi asked.

“The fisherman said there’s been some problems with beasts going after the livestock and attacking people wandering around after dark. They also said that the tavern master and the farmers probably have a few odd jobs we can do too,” Hyuk said. Ravi sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“I think I still have some of that horrid cologne,” Ravi said. Hyuk broke into a wide grin, eyes glinting with excitement.

-.-.-.-.-.-

By nightfall the entire village was filled with excitement. The men had built a big bonfire in the center of the village, the carcasses of three canine beasts strung up around the flames in display of a successful hunt. Something about the display made N’s stomach churn. The poor beasts. Ravi was helping skin a fourth beast, and Hyuk sat by the fire recounting the adventure to anyone who wanted to listen. A few of the farmers from the next village north had come to join in the festivities, having also been victim of the beasts. The tavern maid clapped N on shoulder, drawing him from his thoughts.

“Sad you didn’t join in on the hunt?” she asked. N shook his head.

“Fighting and hunting aren’t really my thing,” N said with a polite smile. “If I’m forced to, I will, but,” he looked back over the crowd to Hyuk and Ravi, “my travel companions seem much more suited to it.”

“I agree. Your hands look much too soft for a sword,” the tavern maid agreed. N looked down at his palms, brows knit together. “They’re even softer than mine, see?” she commented, holding her hand out for comparison. She had light calluses, something completely absent from N’s hands. “But I heard you did really well running errands for the villagers. You must be tired.”

“No more than yesterday,” N said, giving her a polite smile. It was the truth. While Ravi and Hyuk ventured into the fields and small patches of wooded areas to hunt out the beasts, N had stayed behind in the village. He’d done everything from moving boxes of supplies for the tavern to catching an escaped rooster to helping secure boats for the night. Payment for the work wasn’t much, sometimes just in the form of food, but all together it was a respectable amount. Of course, he imagined what he made would pale in comparison to what Hyuk and Ravi would receive for slaying the beasts.

“You’ll sleep well tonight,” the tavern maid said, smiling back at N.

“I hope so,” N said, maintaining the polite smile as he reached up and smoothed down the hair framing his face.

“Have you gotten a chance to talk with your companions yet?” she asked.

“No, not yet. I was busy when the hunting party came back,” N said, looking back out at the crowd. Ravi had left the beast he’d been skinning and was heading over to Hyuk.

“Then you should go talk to them,” the tavern maid encouraged, nudging N’s shoulder towards the crowd. “And I should prepare the tavern for the influx of patrons. Everyone will want to get drunk.” N nodded and waved at her as they went their separate ways. He made his way through the crowd, coming within ear shot of Hyuk just as he was finishing his story.

“And it collapsed to the ground,” Hyuk said with a grin. Ravi spotted N and worked his way around the people crowded around Hyuk. He was covered in blood, a scrape on his cheek.

“You look tired,” Ravi observed, smiling at N.

“It’s been a long day,” N said, smiling back. He nodded towards the strung up carcasses. “The hunt was a success.”

“Yeah. The villagers are letting us take the teeth and some of the bones to Dalnisia to sell at a magic shop. Apparently the teeth can be used to make warding talismans,” Ravi said, tone chipper. “They should fetch a good price since Dalnisia doesn’t get much from the beasts this far north.”

“You reek of blood and heavy cologne,” N said, wrinkling his nose and motioning to Ravi’s clothes. Ravi looked down at his hands and clothes, eyes wide as if he’d forgotten. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a few scrapes and bruises, nothing a potion can’t take care of. The blood is all from the beasts,” Ravi assured. “I’m going to wash up as soon as we finish skinning and flaying the beasts.”

“Will the blood wash out of your clothes?” N asked. Ravi grimaced.

“Even if it can, we don’t have time to wash our clothes here. I’m going to toss them. I have a spare set,” Ravi sighed. His gaze flickered back up to N, then towards the tavern as he changed the subject. “You were talking to the tavern maid just now?”

“Yeah, I helped move some supplies for them earlier,” N said, looking back at the tavern.

“Several of the men want to celebrate there tonight,” Ravi said. “You should come. We all probably need to let loose some. The last time we took a proper rest was in Belkin.”

“Loosen up?” N asked.

“To, you know, take the weight off our shoulders,” Ravi explained.

“Aaah,” N said with better understanding. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt.”

-.-.-.-.-.-

“Take care of this,” Hyuk said with a large grin as he tucked a fat purse of coins into N’s hands. N stared down at it in confusion for a few moments before looking back up at Hyuk, only to see he was slipping out of the tavern, two girls in tow. He stared after Hyuk, brows knit in utter confusion.

“The boy moves fast,” the tavern maid laughed from behind N, placing two mugs of beer on the counter N had been leaning on. N turned his perplexed expression towards her. “First he gambles more money out of the men, and now he’s wooing the girls.” N turned back towards the door Hyuk had exited out of, recalling how not long ago Hyuk had beaten six men in arm wrestling. Everyone had placed bets and he’d wiped the floor with them all. “He better not leave those girls in trouble.” The last comment confused N even more.

“He wouldn’t,” N said, taking the two beer mugs from the counter and staring at them. Not long after sitting down with everyone, N had decided that beer and mead were foul tasting substances and refused to have more than a sip or two. He’d ended up passing his first and only mug off to Hyuk. One of the mugs he was holding had originally been meant for Hyuk, but with Hyuk gone, he supposed he’d just give them both to Ravi instead.

He retook his seat next to Ravi, passing both mugs to his companion. Ravi immediately pulled one of the mugs in close, nursing it as he talked and laughed with some of the village men. N fidgeted, feeling awkward being the only sober one at the table. The conversation at the table had slowly degraded into dirty jokes and laughter as the night went on. He could still laugh, but he wasn’t enjoying it as much as the others. It was starting to get late, the errands he’d run starting to feel heavy on his body. He wanted to head up to bed, but he felt uncomfortable leaving Ravi alone when he was drinking so much. Ravi suddenly slung an arm over N’s shoulders and pulled him in close.

“Hyuk is a lucky dog,” Ravi slurred. “I don’t know how he convinced _two_ girls.”

“He’s been chatting people up all night long,” N said, looking Ravi up and down in concern.

“And what about you? You get along well with the tavern maid,” Ravi slurred, leaning in close to N’s ear. “She’s been eyeing you since last night. She’s pretty. You should go for it.”

“Go for what?” N asked puzzled. Ravi and the others at the table snickered, Ravi leaning more of his weight on N.

“You’re not serious, right? She wants to fuck you. Don’t pass it up.” N jerked back in surprised confusion.

“F-fuck? You mean sex? I–” N stuttered, cheeks burning. The reason Hyuk had left with two girls suddenly clicked, deepening his mortification and turning the tips of his ears pink. His voice dropped in volume, “Th-the thought never even crossed my mind.” Ravi broke out into laughter, burying his face into the arm he had slung around N.

“It’s okay to admit it,” Ravi managed between laughs. “You’ve been flirting off and on all night.” N felt his flush deepen.

“That wasn’t flirting,” N grumbled, and Ravi burst into laughter again. “Maybe it’s time to go.”

“Go? But I’m having fun,” Ravi slurred.

“What, can the Semol not handle a little raunchy talk?” one of the men at the table called out, causing the others to burst into laughter again. N ducked his head, balling a fist in the arm of Ravi’s shirt. “Can’t stand to drink neither. Let the boy have his fun.”

“We have to catch a boat tomorrow,” N said, starting to stand and pulling Ravi with him. Ravi went easily, seemingly malleable to suggestion despite his drinking mates’ objections.

“I don’t wanna ride a boat,” Ravi groaned, allowing N to pull him away from the table and towards the door. N ignored the riled comments thrown at his back, comments Ravi seemed to not even hear.

“Do you want to swim instead?” N asked as he shuffled Ravi out into the night air. N turned and waved goodnight to the tavern maid and men left at the table before the door fell closed. Ravi paused as if he were actually considering it, everyone in the tavern already far out of his thoughts.

“I’d rather ride a boat,” Ravi concluded.

“Then we’ll ride the boat,” N said, nudging Ravi toward the stairs leading to their room in the inn.

“But I don’t _want_ to ride the boat,” Ravi groaned. N dragged him up the stairs.

“Then you can swim down the river,” N said matter-of-factly.

“But I’ll get wet,” Ravi whined.

“Do you not want to get wet?” N asked as they reached the top of the stairs. He shuffled Ravi towards the door of their room, but Ravi seemed to have something else in mind, footsteps sluggish as the wheels visibly turned in his head. He swung around when they reached the door, cheesy grin on his lips. He caught N by the waist and pulled him flush against him.

“I wanna get you wet,” Ravi slurred, eyes twinkling with mischief. N blinked in confusion, not understanding how Ravi jumped to N getting wet in the river.

“I’ll be riding the boat, thank you,” N dismissed, gently pressing back from Ravi so he could reach the doorknob. “It’s easier than swimming,” he continued, opening the door and directing Ravi inside by his shoulders.

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” Ravi said gruffly, tugging N towards the beds as soon as the door was closed.

“I don’t understand,” N said, stumbling after Ravi, brows knitting together in utter confusion. He tried to pull away from Ravi, but Ravi refused to let go of his arms. Ravi flopped back on the bed, pulling N down on top of him. N yelped as he went down, squeaking when Ravi’s arms snaked around his waist to hold him in place. “Yaaa,” N whined, beating at Ravi’s chest. “You can sleep on your own.”

“Dun wanna,” Ravi said, tightening his grip.

“It’s too uncomfortable to sleep like this,” N said, smacking Ravi’s chest again. He had better luck pushing up this time despite Ravi’s grip.

“I’ll be lonely if you go,” Ravi whined. N jerked back, looking at Ravi in confusion.

“Why? I’m not leaving.”

“Because Hyuk has two girls and you have the tavern maid and I’ll be alone,” Ravi rambled. N sighed in frustration, feeling his cheeks heating up again.

“Yah,” he scolded, hitting Ravi on the chest. “I don’t want to have sex with her.”

“Why don’t you want to fuck her?” Ravi asked, brows knitting together slightly.

“Why are you bringing this up again all of a sudden?” N asked, trying to push himself further up. Ravi tightened his grip, pulling N back down.

“Because I wanna know why you don’t wanna fuck her. Tell me,” Ravi whined with a pout. N felt the heat in his cheeks grow.

“I told you, the thought never crossed my mind,” N sighed in frustration.

“You don’t think she’s attractive?” Ravi asked, growing puzzled.

“I think she’s pretty,” N answered simply, holding Ravi’s gaze.

“So you _do_ wanna fuck her,” Ravi concluded.

“I don’t, but I’m starting to think you do,” N said dully.

“Not her,” Ravi said, suddenly quite serious. “You’re more prettier.” N swallowed at the intensity Ravi’s eyes had taken on. One of Ravi’s hands broke away from N’s waist to cup N’s cheek. N flinched at such an intimate touch, cheeks burning. Ravi didn’t seem fazed, his gaze flickering to N’s lips as he traced the bottom one with his thumb. “More kissable,” Ravi mumbled before his hand traveled to the back of N’s head and tugged it down. N went bug-eyed, heart pounding and stomach flipping in an odd mix of anticipation and dread–kissable–kissing–kiss–

“ _And what are you going to do when it gets physical? Are you going to abandon all of your morals?” The words were spoken with crushing weight despite the soft, airy quality of the speaker’s voice._

Ravi directed N’s head down next to his so N was laying flat on top of him again. He nuzzled into N’s neck, breath hot against N’s skin. The sensation sent a jolt down N’s spine, a second soon following as Ravi kissed N’s neck, shifting under N so their legs were more comfortably intertwined.

“I could take you entirely, right now,” Ravi mumbled, voice gruff but tired.

“Take me?” N parroted, not understanding. He could practically hear his heartbeat in his head and he was blushing so much he felt like his face might combust.

“Gladly,” Ravi hummed against N’s throat, pressing his hips up. The action sent more jolts down N’s spine, heat starting to pool where his hips met Ravi’s. N swallowed thickly, unsure how to handle the sensations or his body’s reactions.

“You’re really drunk,” N said, hating the tremor in his voice.

“No ‘m not,” Ravi denied, nuzzling into N’s neck, breath slowing.

“You are,” N insisted, squeezing his eyes shut. Ravi’s hands felt hot on his body.

“Am not,” Ravi mumbled, voice filling with sleep.

“I should go to a different bed,” N said, staring to press up. Ravi tightened his grip.

“Please don’t,” Ravi mumbled. “I’ll be lonely.” N sighed in frustration, relaxing into Ravi’s arms.

“I’ll stay until you fall asleep,” N conceded.

-.-.-.-.-.-

N carefully removed Ravi’s arms as soon as Ravi started snoring. He pressed up, watching Ravi closely to make sure he didn’t wake up. When Ravi didn’t stir, he climbed off and sat on the next bed over. After everything earlier, N wasn’t sure he could sleep.

“More kissable,” he breathed as he lifted his fingers to brush across his lips, feeling his cheeks warm. For some reason, the idea of kissing, of someone wanting to kiss _him,_ felt _strange_. As strange as the concept that he could be beautiful had been to him the other day.

“ _And what are you going to do when it gets physical? Are you going to abandon all of your morals?”_ echoed in his mind and he looked over at Ravi’s sleeping form. When it gets physical. Despite the amount of nonsense Ravi had been spewing, it was pretty clear to N that Ravi had wanted to do more than just kiss. N straightened, dropping his hand.

Sex. N knew what it was in concept, understood how it functioned in practice, but having been faced with the reality of it had deeply unsettled him. The way Ravi had held him close, the intent behind Ravi’s touches, the heat and tension that had coiled between them–it all felt so _new_ , so _foreign_. He couldn’t deny that Ravi’s touch felt good, nor could he say he was opposed to the idea of sex or the idea of being deeply intimate with another person. But the sensations and the physical reactions caused by those sensations felt completely new, as though he’d never been touched that way, had never reacted that way. Had he never had sex? Had he never been touched like that before?

 _“Are you going to abandon all of your morals?”_ N swallowed thickly. Morals.

 _“Vanity is something you were taught to avoid, wasn’t it?”_ Had sex been something he’d been taught to avoid as well? N brought his hand to where Ravi had kissed his neck earlier, touching the spot gingerly, trying to recall the sensation. Ravi’s lips on his throat, the press of his hips. He wanted to experience it again on his own terms when Ravi was sober.

-.-.-.-.-.-

_“The expression in your eyes when you watch him is dangerous.” N turned to look behind him, the voice very familiar. Piercing catlike eyes were all he could make out on the man’s face. “It’s forbidden on so many levels.”_

_“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” N said, brows knitting as a frown set on his lips._

_“I think you do. You need to correct it before anyone else notices.”_


	4. Chapter 4

It felt like N had barely fallen asleep when Hyuk shook him awake. Hyuk grinned down at him, obviously in a good mood. N swatted Hyuk away and attempted to roll over, but Hyuk roughly pulled him to his back again.

“If you don’t get up and help me wake Ravi up, I’m going to pour water on you,” Hyuk warned, his tone too chipper.

“When did you get back?” N rasped out.

“Not too long ago,” Hyuk answered, pulling N up into a sitting position. “You look worse than yesterday morning. Didn’t sleep well?”

“Ravi was a handful,” N explained passively, causing Hyuk to bark in laughter.

“Sorry. I probably should have warned you,” Hyuk apologized, pulling N out of bed and to his feet.

-.-.-.-.-.-

“Remember that this isn’t a free ride,” the crewman that was tasked with getting them settled on the ship said as he lead them aboard. “This isn’t a passenger ship, so you’ll be given jobs to help out. We’re carrying special cargo, so the number of trade stops we’re making is less than normal. We should arrive in Dalnisia tomorrow evening.”

“Special cargo?” Hyuk asked as he stepped onto the ship’s deck.

“Supplies for the magic academy,” the crewman answered. “It’s best to avoid the cargo hold unless you’re specifically asked to go there.” A ripple of unease ran through N as he stepped onto the ship. The energy in the air was reminiscent of the inn in Ajol.

“Something in the air is off,” N said, gaze sweeping over the deck in search of the cause.

“A demon?” Ravi questioned, turning to look at N. The words had come out as an annoyed grumble, his hangover amplifying his normal morning grogginess.

“You think a demon could be aboard?” the crewman asked, looking at them incredulously.

“He’s very sensitive to the supernatural,” Hyuk explained to the crewman, motioning to N.

“Typical Semol,” the crewman grumbled under his breath. N ignored the comment, continuing to search for a possible source of the feeling.

Hyuk turned to N and asked, “Is whatever it is close?”

“Whatever it is, the source isn’t on the deck,” N said, shaking his head.

“It could be the cargo. The academy has been known to order strange things, but I can assure you that it’s safe as long as you don’t mess with anything in the cargo hold. We’ve run several similar shipments to the academy before,” the crewman said. His words did little to comfort N. “Come, I’ll show you where you’ll sleep tonight.”

“Do you think it’s safe?” Hyuk whispered, leaning in close to N’s ear as they walked.

“It’s hard to tell,” N whispered back. “Whatever it is doesn’t feel as foreboding as the demon we met in Ajol, but it’s definitely… there.”

“Think we can take it if it causes problems?”

“I think so.”

-.-.-.-.-.-

N slumped down against the rail of the deck with the food he’d been given for lunch. He didn’t like being cooped up inside the ship, where the energy in the air was darker, so he’d escaped to the deck. The sun and fresh air was comforting and the landscape along the riverbank was gorgeous. He ate slowly, trying to push thoughts of last night out of his mind. Ravi had been so hungover in the morning that he hadn’t been in any condition to discuss such things, and the crew had kept them busy all morning. Sitting to eat was a welcome break, but it also gave his mind time to wander.

The door to the inside of the ship opened and Ravi stepped out looking miserable. He spotted N and headed his way. N straightened, not sure if he was ready to talk with Ravi after all. Ravi slumped down next to N with a whiny groan.

“I thought being on the deck made you feel more nauseous,” N said in an attempt to break some of his nervousness.

“The noise level of the crew as they ate was making my head pound,” Ravi explained. “I wanted to eat in peace.” N snorted and went back to eating, staring over the deck at the sky. Silence fell over them and several minutes passed, but N couldn’t say it was comfortable. The previous night was still gnawing at the back of his mind.

“Last night,” N started when he finished eating, breaking the silence. Ravi looked up at him, eyes questioning. N cleared his throat and started again. “Last night, you said I was kissable.” Ravi flushed and looked away.

“Did I? I can’t really remember much of last night,” Ravi said. N felt his heart sink. He looked up at the sky, ringing the hem of his shirt.

“What do you remember?” N asked, trying to keep the tremble out of his voice.

“Not much after the chugging contest,” Ravi answered. After a beat, he sighed, leaning back and looking at the sky. Ravi covered his face with his hands, his ears turning bright pink. “I’m sorry if I crossed a line. I get handsy when I drink.” Handsy? N bit the inside of his lip.

“I didn’t dislike the things you said or did,” N said quietly.

“You didn’t?” Ravi asked, peeking through his fingers. N turned to him and tentatively took Ravi’s wrist. He gently pulled it away from Ravi’s face, sure that his cheeks were turning as red as Ravi’s.

“I wouldn’t mind if you said them again,” N breathed. Ravi’s gaze flickered down to N’s lips.

“You wouldn’t mind?” Ravi parroted. N shook his head. “Even if I said I wanted to kiss you?” A smile tugged at the corners of N’s lips.

“I’d like to kiss you,” N said, leaning towards Ravi. The door to the inside of the ship opened and they pulled apart. N looked out over the deck, his face burning.

“Mind if I join you?” Hyuk said as he crossed the deck to them. “These sailors just aren’t my type.”

-.-.-.-.-.-

N had just finished up his tasks for the day–he’d volunteered to help out on the deck all afternoon to escape the dark energy and hadn’t seen much of the others as a result. It had probably been a good thing, as he’d needed to process what had happened with Ravi before Hyuk interrupted. He made his way down the hall, counting the doors so he didn’t go into the wrong one.

“Why are you being so evasive?” Hyuk’s voice drifted into the hall from inside the cabin they’d been given to sleep in. N stilled just outside the door, afraid to interrupt.

“I’m not being evasive,” Ravi said, tone disinterested.

“Then why aren’t you answering my question?” Hyuk asked, annoyed. There was a pause in the conversation. “It’s no big deal if I was, but I’d like to know what’s going on with my best friend.”

“You did interrupt, but I’m not exactly sure _what_ you interrupted,” Ravi sighed after another pause. N swallowed, closing his hands into fists in an attempt to keep himself grounded.

“How can you not know?” Hyuk asked, incredulous. “It looked like flirting to me.” N flushed. _Flirting_. He supposed that was what it was, though he hadn’t thought of it that way at the time. “You’re interested in him.”

“I am,” Ravi sighed. “Aren’t you too?”

“Well, I do want to help him regain his memories, but I don’t look at him like I want to fuck him,” Hyuk said flatly. N flushed red.

“I don’t look at him that way,” Ravi denied. There was a prolonged pause before Ravi heaved a heavy sigh. “Can we drop this subject?”

“Fine,” Hyuk conceded.

“What was up with you going off with _two_ women?” Ravi asked, changing the topic.

“Do you want to hear the details?” Hyuk asked, the grin audible in his voice. N sighed and pressed off the wall, turning to go back the way he came. Perhaps he needed a bit more time to let things process.

-.-.-.-.-.-

The night air over the river was chillier than N was used to. The gentle sway of the boat was calming and the moon was gorgeous. He’d become so entranced by the beauty of stars that he hadn’t been able to force himself back inside. He prefered being outside so much he was almost tempted to stay outside, but if he didn’t go to their cabin, he was sure Ravi or Hyuk would come looking for him. That idea, in and of itself, was almost more appealing than staying outside by himself–sharing the beauty of the heavens with his friends. Short of that, he’d content himself with a few more moments bathed in the moonlight.

-.-.-.-.-.-

The air inside the ship was stifling when N finally forced himself below deck–easily twice as much as when he’d left to go back outside. Everything was quiet; the few crewmen that were awake were either in the bridge or were tending to the cargo hold, far from the cabin quarters. N went down the hall slowly, counting the doors as he went. He paused outside the door to their quarters, a shiver running down his spine as the dark atmosphere thickened and a shadow flickered by in his periphery. N snapped his head around to look, but the hall was empty.

He turned back to the door, Ravi’s snores audible on the other side. Swallowing, he opened the door. He stepped in quickly, closing the door behind him. Hyuk and Ravi had taken the bunks across from the door, leaving the bunks next to the door open. N sighed, running a hand through his hair. Assuring himself that everything was alright, he turned to sit on the lower bunk. Before his head could hit the pillow, he heard a muffled yelp through the far wall that separated their cabin from the next. N bolted up, crossing to the wall. The dark atmosphere became almost unbearable as he approached the wall. N reeled back, cursing under his breath as he scrambled to Ravi’s bunk.

“ _Wake up!_ ,” he hissed as he started to roughly shake Ravi. Ravi’s snoring broke and he groaned. “Get _up_ , there’s a demon aboard,” he hissed, switching to pounding on Ravi’s chest.

“Demon?” Ravi groaned, opening his eyes. Hyuk shifted in the top bunk.

“Yes, _demon_. Get up,” N said, pulling Ravi up into a seated position.

“Are you sure?” Hyuk asked, swinging his feet over the edge on the bunk and hoping down.

“I saw a shadow in the hall, then heard a yelp from next door, and the atmosphere is oppressive like the inn in Ajol,” N explained hurriedly as Ravi shook the sleep from his eyes. N released him, stepping back so he could stand.

“You’re like a demon detector,” Hyuk said blandly, grabbing his sword from his things.

“It’s a useful trait,” Ravi said, grabbing his sword as well. “I’d rather have warning. Let’s check it out.” N held his hand over the hilt of his dagger and followed Ravi and Hyuk into the hallway. Ravi stilled in front of the next cabin over and knocked. When there was no answer, he knocked again, calling out. Still no answer.

“I’m going in,” Ravi said before pushing the door open. An oppressive wave swept into the hallway, causing N to shudder. Ravi entered the cabin tentatively, Hyuk close behind. “Hello?” Ravi called as he stepped fully into the cabin. N peeked around the door, the hair on his arms standing up.

“There’s no one here,” Hyuk said, stepping deeper into the room. “But there was earlier.” N stepped just inside the door, not comfortable going further until the threat was located. Hyuk started tossing the blankets on the bunks, looking under them. A small shadow jumped from underneath the blanket on the top bunk, flickering just out of reach. Hyuk yelped, flinching back and drawing his sword, but the shadow had already swept past N along the floor and out into the hallway. N turned to give chase, following it down the hall. It wasn’t very strong, a little weaker than the demon they’d faced in the hills. By the way it jittered and trembled as it went down the hall and the way it pulsed energy unevenly, N could tell it couldn’t control its strength very well.

The shadow slid under the door to the deck. N drew his dagger and pushed the door open, the sound of Hyuk and Ravi’s footsteps pounding behind him. N stepped out onto the deck and reeled as something made contact with his neck–burning and searing. It wrapped around his neck and jerked him up before throwing him. N hit the deck hard, the breath in his lungs escaping him. He barely registered a flicker of movement before his vision was consumed with darkness, tendrils wrapping around his throat, stomach, and wrists, searing into his flesh. N gasped, cried out in pain.

“ _So hungry. Need to get stronger,_ ” the demon hissed pressing down on N and tightening its tendrils around N. “ _If I devour you…_ ” There was muffled scuffling beyond the darkness, the demon hissing in pain as Ravi called out to N. But N couldn’t make out the words, the burning grip of the demon too distracting. He was suddenly swooped up and flung, still enveloped in darkness. The second connection with the deck hurt worse and the tendrils squeezed until it felt like the demon had burned through his skin, ripping a pained cry from his throat. “ _If I devour you, I can have a human form. If I devour you all_ –”

N jerked against the tendrils, attempting to fight back, but the demon pressed him down, enveloping him in complete, suffocating darkness, searing into his skin. There was streak of pain across N’s stomach and the grip of the tendrils eased. The shadow dissipated, the oppressive atmosphere disappearing with it. N gasped for breath, hands shooting down to the pain in his stomach, fingers growing wet.

“ _Fuck–”_ Ravi, N registered. Ravi was standing above him, sword in hand, horror in his eyes.

“Did you cut him?” Hyuk asked from somewhere off to the side.

“I don’t think it’s deep,” Ravi said, voice shaking, frozen in place.

“It doesn’t have to be,” Hyuk said, kneeling down at N’s side. He gave N a short sheepish smile before turning his attention to N’s stomach. “You don’t have to worry, it’s dead,” Hyuk said hands coming to N’s. “I need to see the wound.” N let Hyuk pull his hands back easily, focusing instead on steadying his breath. Ravi dropped his sword and came to N’s side.

“What did that thing _do_ to you?” Ravi asked, voice still shaking.

“I think it was trying to eat me,” N said, trying to smile. He flinched when Hyuk put pressure on his stomach.

“It looks superficial,” Hyuk said, “so it shouldn’t be hard to treat, but we need to get something for those burns.”

“Are you okay?” the captain called from a distance.

“Mostly,” Hyuk called back.

-.-.-.-.-.-

“Every once in awhile, the magic academy asks for demons and cursed objects for test subjects,” the captain sighed, sitting on the bunk across from N’s. Hyuk was carefully bandaging the nasty looking burns on N’s wrists. “Transporting such things is dangerous, but the payoff for successful delivery is very good. We’ve made dozens of deliveries like this in the past with no problems, but now three of my men are gone without a trace. It was bound to happen eventually.”

“Fueled by greed,” Ravi muttered under his breath. He stood at the head of N’s bunk, leaned against the wall. “I can’t understand how _anyone_ would think it’s safe to transport a _demon_.”

“Hunters and mages in the north trap and bind small, weak demons. As long as the demon is bound, we don’t have to worry,” the captain explained. “And they’re the weak variety that can’t do much harm anyway.”

“That thing _wasn’t_ weak,” Ravi growled. N swallowed thickly. It hadn’t been weak, but it’s strength hadn’t matched the demon from Ajols’ strength at all.

“That’s probably why it was able to break out of its binds,” Hyuk added.

“What I saw from the bridge was _much_ bigger than the demon we’d brought aboard,” the captain said. “It was the size of a house cat when I saw it last. Something happened to it.”

“It was hungry,” N said, drawing all attention his way.

“You talked to it?” Hyuk asked, shocked.

“No,” N sighed, settling back into the bunk. “More like it was hissing in my ear, talking about how it wanted to eat me and take human form.”

“It ate the missing crew,” Hyuk said, tone heavy.

“Most likely to gain power,” N sighed.

“It probably would have eaten the whole crew if we hadn’t stopped it,” Ravi sighed. “Where was it being held? I want to see its binds.”

“I’ll show you,” the captain said, standing. Hyuk sighed, finishing the bandage on N’s left wrist and gingerly placing it on N’s stomach before picking up the right one. Ravi followed the captain out of the room.

“You don’t want to go with them?” N asked, watching as Hyuk started loosely wrapping his wrist.

“I do, but I don’t feel comfortable leaving you alone after that,” Hyuk said. N swallowed and looked at the board of the top bunk. “The demon might be dead, but you’re hurt and I’m sure that whole experience was traumatic.”

“I’m a bit shaken, but I’ll be fine,” N said.

“A demon just tried to eat you,” Hyuk said blandly. N sighed, closing his eyes to try to explain what he was feeling.

“It was scary, but it wasn’t so scary I was afraid for my life,” N finally managed. “It caught me off guard, but you and Ravi were there, and you’ve killed things stronger than that demon.”

“It was throwing you like a rag doll,” Hyuk said.

“Because it caught me off guard,” N said, looking at Hyuk. “If it hadn’t been for the burning when it touched me, I probably could have held my own in the battle too. It wasn’t like the demon in Ajol. He–It–threw you to the ground without even having to touch you. It could control how much energy it let off. The demon tonight–it was young, not used to the power it had.”

“You’re really in tune with demons,” Hyuk said tying off the bandage. N squeezed his eyes shut. “You feel and see a lot of things Ravi and I can’t.” Hyuk paused for a beat as he placed N’s wrist on his chest, well above his stomach wound. “We’ve been wondering for awhile, but maybe you used to be a medium or religious figure?”

“I wish I could remember if I was,” N said tightly. “But isn’t this ability common among Semol?”

“Common or not, it would make sense if you were,” Hyuk said. “You seem like the type, with your straight laced personality.” N groaned and weakly swatted at Hyuk. Hyuk laughed, grabbing N’s hand and squeezing it.

“I’m not straight laced,” N said.

“You refused the rum the captain offered you to help dull the pain,” Hyuk teased. “I’d call that straight laced.”

“Maybe I am a bit,” N hummed. They fell into a silence and N relaxed back into the bed, pushing the pain out of his mind. Hyuk squeezed his hand tighter.

“Ravi probably blames himself for letting the demon catch you, probably for the crew getting eaten too. I can see it in his eyes,” Hyuk said, tone serious again.

“It’s not,” N said opening his eyes.

“It’s not me that needs convincing,” Hyuk sighed, bowing his head. N squeezed Hyuk’s hand back.

“I’m alive, so he can’t beat himself up too much,” N said.

-.-.-.-.-.-

There was a brush against N’s hand that pulled him towards wakefulness, but sleep was too nice to give up just yet. Just as he was slipping back into deeper sleep, someone took his hand, touch so light that N started drifting off again.

“Sorry I didn’t get that thing off you sooner.” Ravi’s hushed voice. He was back from examining the demon’s binds, N registered. “Sorry I cut you.” There was a long pause and N started to drift back off. “But at least you’re alive.” There was a press of lips to his knuckles before the touch receded. N let sleep take him once again.

-.-.-.-.-.-

_“Aish, what has gotten into boys these days,” N scolded, hoisting the younger of two boys (no doubt the ringleader) onto a fallen tree trunk. Both were sniffling, covered in dirt and scrapes, and had a few more serious injuries. “You’re very lucky that I was passing by and heard your screams. It doesn’t look like this area is well traveled at all.” He grabbed a water bottle and his wash cloth from his side and poured water onto the cloth._

_“My leg hurts,” the younger complained, face contorting as he cried harder._

_“Of course it does. What do you expect when you fell such a long way?” N scowled, reaching out and carefully wiping at the edges of the wound the boy was crying about. His leg had caught on a stick or root when he fell, and the wood had lodged into his leg, pulling and cutting his leg before the end of it broke off. About an inch of the wood was still wedged into the boy’s leg at an angle, and it would stay that way until the boy could see a proper doctor to extract it. N was simply trying to clean the wound enough that there wouldn’t be any more problems._

_“You should know better than to try to climb that slope–it’s not stable at all. Just look at all those tree roots sticking out, and the tree that’s trying to grow there looks like it’s just barely holding on. The ground looks so soft,” N scolded more harshly as he pulled away. The older boy started crying harder and the younger wailed. N pouted at the two, hating to hear them like that. He folded his wash cloth to get a clean section and reached for the older boy’s head._

_“Aish, calm down. You’re both going to be fine,” N comforted, dabbing at a nasty gash right at the older boy’s hairline. He’d hit his head on a rock during the fall and was **very** lucky it hadn’t done more damage. _

_“I’m sorry,” the boy apologized before starting to hiccup sobs. N’s heart melted and he pulled the boy into a warm hug._

_“Shhh, it’s okay,” he soothed, petting the boy’s hair. The younger boy made a whimpering noise and N pulled him into the hug as well. “It’s okay. Both of you are okay. Both of you are alive, and that’s all I could ask for.”_

-.-.-.-.-.-

Ravi pressed N back down onto the bed, a hard frown set on his lips.

“Stay in bed and rest. You’ll reopen your stomach wound,” Ravi said sternly.

“But I really do feel better,” N said, trying to sit up again. “There has be something I can do.”

“You can _rest_. Hyuk and I can handle things around the ship until we get to Dalnisia,” Ravi said, pressing N back onto the bed and holding him there.

“It’s only been a couple of hours and I’m so restless,” N whined.

“I don’t want your stomach wound to reopen or deepen because you don’t know your limits. _Rest_ ,” Ravi scolded. N sighed, sinking back into the bed.

“ _Fine_ ,” he pouted.

-.-.-.-.-.-

“Ravi’s been sulking all morning,” Hyuk sighed as he handed N lunch. “Everyone has, really. I had to get away before the mood infected me.”

“Three crewmen _did_ die last night,” N said as he pushed himself up and took the food. “Isn’t it natural for them to mourn?”

“You’re right,” Hyuk sighed, taking a seat on the bunk across from N to eat. “I’d be mourning too if you or Ravi died.”

“You’ve gotten that attached to me already?” N asked teasingly.

“You’re useful,” Hyuk said, just as teasingly, a smile spreading across his lips. N laughed before taking a bite of his food. “So, how have you been holding up?”

“Good,” N said as soon as he swallowed. “I’m bored but my wounds don’t hurt.”

“Not moving helps a lot, doesn’t it?” Hyuk said. “My arm still hurts if I knock it or twist it wrong.” He held up the arm that was injured in the hills to Ajol.

“But it’s healing well?” N asked before taking another bite of his food.

“Slowly. It hasn’t reopened since Ajol, so I take that as a good sign,” Hyuk said. “A stomach wound will be a pain though. It really limits the amount you can move.”

“Just as long as I don’t have to stay in bed alone with my thoughts until I heal,” N sighed. “I’m going crazy without anything productive to do.”

“Been thinking about last night?” Hyuk asked.

“The last few days in general, the things I remember, my dreams,” N sighed.

“A lot has happened,” Hyuk said sympathetically. “But you’re remembering things?”

“Bits and pieces,” N said, taking another bite of his food.

“That’s good!” Hyuk said around his food, excited.

“It’s not enough to put much about my life together,” N said. “I didn’t value looks. I think I had a restrictive moral code. I have lots of memories of children.”

“Children?” Hyuk asked, as if the suggestion had surprised him. “Do you think you had children?” N shook his head.

“I don’t think they were mine. But I knew them well.”

“It would make things complicated if you had kids,” Hyuk mumbled absently.

“What do you mean?” N asked confused. Hyuk looked up at him wide eyed.

“Nothing,” he said quickly. “You know, it still fits with you being a religious figure–strict moral code and all.” N sighed, rolling his eyes.

“I don’t want to jump to conclusions. Didn’t you tell me that Semol were very religious?” N brushed off.

“So you think you’re Semol?” Hyuk asked.

“I’m starting to think so. If not by lifestyle, by birth. I understand Semol-el and look like the people in the southern Semol tribes,” N said. “I’m sensitive to the supernatural. People keep saying I’m one. It makes sense as far as I can tell.”

“I thought you weren’t jumping to conclusions?” Hyuk asked teasingly.

“Did you think I was Semol when you found me?” N asked, ignoring Hyuk’s teasing.

“We noticed your _hair_ , but we didn’t really think too much about it,” Hyuk said. N reached up and gingerly touched his hair, the red hair that still felt like it was the wrong color.

“You two are very accepting,” N mumbled, dropping his hand back to his side.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Hyuk helped N out onto the deck and kicked the door closed behind them. N breathed deeply, the fresh air rejuvenating in a way bed rest hadn’t been. Hyuk guided him to the railing along the deck so N could look out over the scenery.

“Do you think you’ll be okay on your own?” Hyuk asked as N latched onto the railing.

“I should be. If I stay still, my stomach wound won’t get irritated,” N said, smiling up at Hyuk. Hyuk returned the smile, gently clapping N on the shoulder. His eyes flickered behind N and his smile melted away. “Ravi spotted us,” Hyuk mumbled. N sighed, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

“Why are you out of bed?” Ravi called. N turned towards where the sound came from and spotted Ravi closing in from halfway across the deck.

“I needed some air,” N called back.

“You shouldn’t be moving around,” Ravi scolded, brows knit in annoyance.

“We’re docking in a couple of hours,” Hyuk said. “Just let him be. If he doesn’t move much, he’ll be fine.”

“And I promise not to move much,” N said, smiling at Ravi as he came to a stop in front of them. Ravi sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“Fine–but you need to stay within view of the crew,” Ravi insisted.

“I’m not helpless, you know. I just needed fresh air,” N said, brows knit in mild annoyance. Ravi sighed–almost huffed.

“Just stay in view, okay?” Ravi insisted again. N turned away to look out over the water, a slight pout on his lips.

“Fine,” he said tersely. He wasn’t sure if he liked being the object of protective mother henning. “But only if you don’t leave my view either. What if you fall into the river while trying to move or wash something?” Hyuk snorted beside him and Ravi sputtered.

-.-.-.-.-.-

“So you’re saying you _killed_ the specimen?” the man from the magic academy asked angrily. The ship reached Dalnisia in the late afternoon and started to unload the cargo–most of it supplies for the magic academy.

“It escaped and ate three crew members and tried to eat our friend,” Hyuk said, motioning towards N. The man from the academy looked over at N.

“It broke out of its binds easily,” Ravi added.

“Your friend sustained injuries?” the man from the academy asked.

“It burned me,” N said. The man’s eyebrows rose but his expression remained otherwise annoyed.

“If you come to the academy and recount the experience _and_ let us inspect the wounds, we’ll forget about you _killing_ our precious specimen,” the man said.

“Will you provide treatment too?” Ravi asked.

“We’ll do what we can,” the man said.

“Do you mind?” Hyuk asked N. N shook his head.

“I don’t mind at all,” N said.

“Good,” the man said. “There are inns near the academy that you can rest at tonight. As soon as you have secured a room, come to the academy. Ask for Namjoon.” 


	5. Chapter 5

The shipyards at Dalnisia were expansive. The city was located where two major rivers joined, making it the perfect trading hub along the river. The crew of the ship they’d arrived on had said that Dalnisia was one of the largest cities on the continent and that one could get almost anything in the city. The city itself reminded N of Ajol, but the architecture was distinctly more ornate and the people more varied. As they followed the map the man from the academy had given them, N had noted several people with various shades of red hair–Semol. He wondered what about the city had drawn Semol out of their secluded villages to be there. The thought that any of them wanted to live among “outsiders” seemed so _odd_ after the Semol he’d met earlier in the trip.

As they walked, Hyuk and Ravi were already discussing various ways they could earn money in the city–gambling at the local taverns, working at the shipping docs, pest control. N tuned them out, enamoured with the city. They wouldn’t let him work while injured anyway. They were getting close to the academy. It was an unmistakable landmark within the city, one of two well funded academies in the city. It towered over most of the city’s buildings, a stone structure with gorgeous architecture that didn’t match most of the newer buildings.

The unmistakable sound of children’s laughter filled the air as they approached a modest temple. The small yard and the street were crowded with children of various ages kicking a ball around, following the cues of a young Semol man with hair as bright red as N’s. Ravi tugged N across the street to avoid walking through their game, but N couldn’t peel his eyes off the happy sight. In ways, he wanted to join them, but he knew that wasn’t good for his stomach wound. One of the older children–a Semol girl with dark copper hair–got a hold of the ball and kicked it too hard, causing the ball to fly out of the bounds of the group and towards N. N ducked and the ball collided with Ravi’s temple with an audible _thwap_. Hyuk burst into laughter, crumpling over, and N couldn’t help but snort either.

“What the–” Ravi cursed as he bent down the pick up the ball. His brows were knit in confusion.

“You should have been paying attention to the kids,” N said, once he regained himself. Ravi sighed, relaxing his shoulders. N looked back at the group of kids. The man motioned for the kids to stay put and turned towards them. He crossed the street, eyes meeting N’s and sending and jolt through him–sharp feline eyes with a soul piercing gaze.

“Sorry,” the man said when he was only a few steps away. His voice was soft and gentle, a startling contrast to his sharp features. “The children don’t always know their own strength.”

_“Children are blessings. Innocent until corrupted by those around them. I want to protect that for as long as I can.”_

N swallowed. He knew this man’s voice. He could remember the man’s eyes. But the man showed no outward recognition of N. N felt frozen to the spot.

“It’s not a problem,” Ravi said handing the ball back to the man. “They’re just trying to have fun.” The man took the ball back, the corners of his lips turning up in the faintest of smiles.

“Thank you for understanding,” the man said. His gaze flickered back to N and his  features hardened slightly, causing another jolt to run through N’s body.

“Come on,” Hyuk said as Ravi tugged N forward by his arm. “I see an inn up ahead and the academy is only a couple of blocks away.” N let Ravi drag him down the road, but he couldn’t peel his gaze away from the Semol man’s. They were quickly out of earshot, but N could see the man’s lips moving, could almost hear his voice.

_It’s still not too late._

A group of children rushed to the man’s side, and Ravi jerked N into a building, severing their eye contact.

-.-.-.-.-.-

N sank down onto one of the beds in the inn, wincing when the movement tugged at his stomach wound. He was still reeling from the encounter with the Semol man. It wasn’t too late for _what_? No matter how hard he’d tried, he couldn’t remember anything that fit the words, nor could he remember his connection to the man. The man hadn’t acted like he knew or wanted to speak with N, so N was hesitant to say anything to Ravi or Hyuk.

“Are you okay?” Ravi asked, coming to kneel in front of N. N snapped out of his thoughts and looked up at Ravi, swallowing when he saw Ravi’s concerned expression. “You’ve been out of it since you dodged that ball.”

“Yeah, laughing just agitated my stomach wound a bit,” N brushed off. It was a lie–he wasn’t in any physical pain, any pull on his stomach wound only causing short lived bursts of pain. Ravi’s frown deepened.

“Maybe you should stay here in Dalnisia,” Ravi suggested softly.

“What?” N asked, shock and confusion rippling through his body. It felt as if Ravi was _rejecting_ him.

“I’ve been thinking about it since last night,” Ravi said. “You’re injured. Your burns and stomach need care. We’re headed out into the wild, where there won’t be anywhere to get supplies.”

“Are you worried I’ll be a hindrance?” N asked, voice trembling.

“No–just–I don’t want you to get worse. Your wounds need treatment and time to heal. We need to keep moving and if you got hurt worse–” Hyuk cleared his throat, drawing Ravi out of his ramble.

“Why don’t we let the magic academy tell us if he’s fit for further travel or not?” Hyuk suggested. “They did say they would do what they could for his wounds.” Ravi sighed, bowing his head in defeat.

“Fine, but if they say you need to rest, then you _need_ to rest,” Ravi agreed, tone reluctant.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Once they reached the magic academy, they were shuffled through various halls and up two flights of stairs to a door with a placard reading “Specimen Lab, School of Demonology”. N swallowed, stomach flipping in anticipation. The security guard that had shown them up knocked on the door and opened it without waiting.

“Namjoon, the guests you were waiting for arrived,” the security guard announced. There was a scrape of a chair sliding against the floor inside the room and a few moments later the man that had met them at the docks came to the door.

“Thank you,” the man said to the security guard. He turned his attention to N and the others. “Please come in. We finished up preparations for you a few minutes ago.” He moved to the side, holding the door open for the others to enter. Ravi entered first, and Hyuk guided N in by the shoulders, having noticed N’s sudden hesitance at entering the room.

N pushed back against Hyuk, taking small, cautious steps as he entered the room and looked around. There were various runes and magic inscriptions carved into the walls of the large room, partially covered by hand drawn diagrams and charts. Despite the fear caused by the placard on the door, the room was free of the oppressive air created by the presence of demons. N noticed another man in the corner of the room, seated next to a specimen table.

“I asked my friend Jin to come take a look at your wounds as well. He’s from the Healing Arts,” the man from the docks–Namjoon–said as he closed the door behind him.

“You really study demons here,” Hyuk said in awe, breaking away from N to inspect the diagrams on the wall. Ravi had wandered deeper into the room, hands brushing against the magic scripts and runes on the wall.

“Yes. There’s a lot of ground breaking research here because of our studies on live demons,” Namjoon said, coming to N’s side.

“It sounds like a stupid idea, but you really have this room well protected,” Ravi said, fingers tracing the lettering of an inscription.

“You seem to be knowledgeable about protective inscriptions. Have you studied magic?” Jin asked, rising to his feet.

“Informally,” Ravi said over his shoulder. N perked, attention turning to Ravi. “I had talent, but my family are servants of our local lord. I was only allowed to read what was in his library.”

“If uncle had let me go to a school like this, I would have insisted on bringing you too,” Hyuk said offhandedly, but the words caught N completely by surprise. Given Hyuk’s attitude, it didn’t seem _too_ far fetched, but N wondered why it hadn’t ever come up before. “That’s probably why he never allowed me to.”

“I think it had more to do with your delinquency,” Ravi said blandly, causing Hyuk to laugh.

“It’s a shame to hear that eager minds were denied a chance to learn,” Namjoon said. “But your experience with the demon will be valuable to others.” He turned to N and motioned to the examination table. “Please take a seat there.” N nodded and crossed the room to the table. He hopped onto the table, Ravi coming to his side.

“You’re Semol, right?” Jin asked as he came to N’s other side. N licked his lips, drawing up the will to say the words.

“Yes, I think,” he answered.

“You think?” Namjoon asked.

“He lost his memories in a demon attack,” Ravi answered for N. “We found him unconscious outside of Belkin.”

“So this wasn’t your first attack?” Namjoon asked, coming to stand in front of N.

“No, but I don’t remember the first one,” N answered.

“You’ve come a long way,” Jin said. “Were you hoping the academy would be able to help with your memories?”

“We are actually passing through for unrelated reasons,” Hyuk answered. “We’re on a quest of sorts.”

“Would you be able to help him remember?” Ravi asked.

“Unfortunately no,” Namjoon answered. “Memory loss as a result of contact with a demon hasn’t been researched much. Most people rather not remember the encounter, and memory loss on this scale seems rare.”

“It was worth asking,” Ravi sighed.

“Laying your previous attack experience aside, please tell us about the specimen that escaped. Start from the beginning,” Namjoon said.

“Things felt off from the moment I got on the ship,” N started.

“You’re sensitive?” Namjoon asked. N hummed.

“When I was heading to our cabin to sleep, I caught sight of a moving shadow. Then I heard a muffled yelp from the cabin next to ours. I woke the others, but no one was in the cabin. I saw the shadow flee into the hallway and onto the deck. When I opened the door, it grabbed me by the neck and threw me. It bound my wrists and waist,” N said, holding up his wrists. “It kept saying it wanted to eat me to get stronger, and it’s touch burned.”

“It had him for a long time. It managed to eat the crewman that was making sure the cargo was still secured and two more crewmen that were sleeping before we realized it had escaped,” Ravi said. “By the time we engaged with it, it was the size of a ten year old child and was able to throw N around effortlessly.”

“We’ve fought and defeated stronger demons and beasts, but it wasn’t an easy fight,” Hyuk said. “We weren’t hurt, but it almost managed to throw me overboard.” N peeked around Namjoon to look at Hyuk–this was the first time he was hearing the details of the fight from the others’ perspective.

“It was fast with erratic movements. It didn’t seem to know how to control itself very well,” Ravi said.

“Did you investigate the binds? We asked the captain to deliver them with the other supplies the academy ordered,” Namjoon asked.

“Yes. The inscriptions didn’t look strong enough,” Ravi said.

“Dammit,” Namjoon cursed, stepping away from the table and covering his eyes.

“You said the areas the demon bound you were burned?” Jin asked N. N nodded. “Can I see?”

“Please,” N said, holding his right wrist out to Jin. Jin took N’s wrist carefully and began unwrapping the bandage.

“They were nasty, but I could only do so much,” Hyuk said, coming over to peer over Jin’s shoulder. “He also received a slash wound to the stomach.”

“I should be able to do something about both,” Jin said, peeling the last few layers of bandages back carefully. When he removed the last layer, his brows knit in confusion. N dropped his gaze to his wrist and swallowed when he saw why Jin was confused–only a few small blisters remained where the worst burns had been. “I thought you said the burns were nasty?”

“They _were_ ,” Hyuk insisted, just as confused.

“They healed?” Ravi asked. Namjoon came back and took N’s wrist, inspecting it carefully.

“I was surprised when I heard that demon burned you. The Semol occasionally report getting burned when they come into physical contact with demons, but I’ve never heard of a case that was so bad it needed bandages like yours. The burns supposedly heal within a few days,” Namjoon said. “I wanted to study the injuries but it seems they’re almost healed.” That explained so much. He hadn’t been feeling any pain in his wrists or neck since he’d woken up in the morning.

“Does contact with demons not burn for you?” N asked, looking up at Hyuk, then over to Ravi.

“No,” Hyuk answered.

“I’ve never experienced it,” Ravi said. N swallowed, looking down at his wrists.

“The demon in Ajol’s touch burned, so last night I assumed–” N broke off, swallowing.

“You didn’t have any wounds when you came back to the room, so we didn’t realize you’d been hurt at all,” Ravi said quietly, reaching down and gently taking N’s left hand.

“Hyuk was bleeding, and I wasn’t in pain,” N said, looking up at Ravi. “I hadn’t realized I’d been hurt either.”

“You’ve a lot of encounters with demons,” Namjoon observed.

“We’re demon hunters,” Ravi said, looking up at Namjoon.

“And you think we’re foolish for studying demons,” Namjoon said dryly. Ravi pursed his lips but otherwise remained quiet. N laced their fingers and squeezed Ravi’s hand reassuringly.

“Jin, N also has a slash on his stomach, and I have an old injury from a fight with a demon. Would you be willing to look at them?” Hyuk asked, breaking the tense silence that had fallen over the room.

“Sure, I’ll do what I can,” Jin said. Ravi gave N’s hand a small squeeze before pulling away from his side.

“Namjoon, do you know anyone that can do tattoos?” Ravi asked, tugging the collar of his shirt down enough that the tattoo along his collarbone was visible.

“You’re getting another?” Hyuk asked, skeptically. Ravi just stared at him unimpressed.

“Tattoos? I have a few people that I could recommend,” Namjoon said, motioning to the door.

-.-.-.-.-.-

“Should we go get food?” Hyuk asked as they stepped out of the academy and into the street. Jin had healed their wounds quickly, without so much as a scar left behind on either of them. He’d also sold Hyuk a potent healing salve for the road, leaving Hyuk in a _very_ good mood.

“What about Ravi?” N asked, looking around as if he might be able to spot Ravi.

“Tattoos can take a while, especially ones with magic. He can handle himself,” Hyuk said.

“Are all of his tattoos magic?” N asked, looking up at Hyuk.

“Yeah. He had them done at the magic school in Alde. It’s the biggest city near our village,” Hyuk said. “He got the first one a couple of years ago when we went to Alde for my eighteenth birthday.”

“There’s a lot about yourselves that you haven’t told me,” N said, dropping his gaze to the ground. “There’s a lot I don’t know about myself, too.” Like his connection to the Semol man at the temple. Hyuk clapped N on the shoulder.

“We… kinda ran away from home, so Ravi might not be able to go back,” Hyuk said, tone solemn. N looked up at Hyuk, brows knit. “He talks about needing talismans to protect Jiwon on the trip home, but I get the feeling he’s not planning to go back, so I don’t talk about it much.”

“Why can’t he go back?” N asked.

“I’m the Lord’s nephew. They might blame him for me leaving, or might just punish him for leaving in general. But he loves his sister, you know? And I wasn’t going to let him do this on his own,” Hyuk explained.

“For your family’s servant, it sure seems like you’re taking more care of him, than he you,” N said. Hyuk sighed, bringing a hand up to rub the back of his neck.

“I’m just… returning the favor after all the times I dragged him around as kids,” Hyuk said. “He got a lot of beatings because of me.”

“You were a brat,” N stated, remembering their conversation in the cornfield.

“I just like pushing the boundaries of what I’m allowed to do,” Hyuk said, grinning.

“Right,” N said unimpressed.

“We passed a few taverns on the way here, let’s go get food,” Hyuk said, leading N towards their inn. N let Hyuk guide him down the road, but looked back over his shoulder, hoping he’d see Ravi.

-.-.-.-.-.-

N closed the door to their room at the inn behind Hyuk, feeling exhausted to his bones. Hyuk was giggling to himself as he tossed a large bag of coins he’d won gambling at the tavern. Hyuk had had a fair amount to drink, but still had enough of his wits about him to win several rounds of cards. He flopped onto one of the mattresses, grin practically splitting his face in half. The men at the tavern hadn’t taken too kindly to a stranger winning all of their cash, so N had to talk the men down. They’d very narrowly avoided a fight, so Hyuk called it a night. N looked around the room, frowning when he noticed Ravi hadn’t returned yet.

“Ravi isn’t back yet,” N said, grip tightening on the door handle.

“He’s probably at a tavern, eating,” Hyuk said, nonchalantly. “He can take care of himself.”

“What if something happens–” N started to say, his stomach churning. Hyuk held up his hand, narrowing his eyes at N.

“You’re starting to sound an awful lot like Ravi did earlier,” Hyuk said firmly. N swallowed. “He’s a grown man and a good fighter. He doesn’t need a babysitter.” Hyuk sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “Besides, the city is big. It’d be hard to find him even if we went looking.” N sighed in defeat and forced himself to let go of the door knob. He curled his hand into a tight fist, finding it more calming than not clenching his fist. He still felt uneasy not knowing where Ravi was, but Hyuk was right. It would be more effort than it was worth to try to find him in a city this large. “If he’s not back in the morning, then we can worry.”

“Fine,” N said, forcing himself to cross the room to one of the empty beds. He laid down but sleep wasn’t easy. His mind kept bouncing between worrying about Ravi and trying to remember the Semol man at the temple.

-.-.-.-.-.-

_“Your assignment is almost up.” The words were soft, airy, gentle, full of pity._

_“But they still need me,” N said, tone distressed._

_“Children always grow up. They are strong. They’ll be fine. You need to trust them.” He was **well** aware that they had grown up, but that didn’t mean they were ready. It didn’t mean that he himself was ready._

_“You need to trust me when I say that it’s too soon,” N hissed. He felt close to tears with worry and frustration._

-.-.-.-.-.-

N bolted up when the door opened. It took him a few moments to register that it was Ravi at the door.

“Sorry,” Ravi whispered, looking wearily over at Hyuk. It was barely starting to get light out. N threw off his covers and stood, quickly crossing to Ravi’s side as he closed the door. He wrinkled his nose when he caught an overpowering wiff of alcohol.

“Where were you?” N asked, tone hushed but harsh. “I was worried about you.”

“Sorry,” Ravi apologized again, wincing. N caught sight of a fresh cut on Ravi’s cheek and a blooming bruise under his eye.

“What _happened_?” N asked, reaching towards the injuries. Ravi jerked back slightly, but N was determined.

“I got into a fight and got kicked out of a tavern,” Ravi mumbled, averting his eyes as N cupped his cheek.

“Fighting? What about?” N asked, shocked.

“Something stupid,” Ravi grumbled, starting to chew on his bottom lip. His cheeks were starting to flush. “I don’t really remember.”

“Why didn’t you come back here?” N asked, voice wavering. He dropped his hand to Ravi’s shoulder, curling his fingers into a fist.

“We were still fighting after we got kicked out. We spilled down the street and ended up outside the temple,” Ravi explained. N stiffened at mention of the temple. “The Semol man from yesterday shooed the other guy off and let me sleep off most of the booze inside the temple.”

“Why didn’t you come back here after getting the tattoo?” N asked, clarifying his earlier question.

“I needed to think,” Ravi mumbled, still averting his gaze.

“Then why drink so much?”

“I wanted to stop thinking,” Ravi murmured. “I feel like I’ve been losing focus.”

“Losing focus?” N parroted, tilting his head.

“On Jiwon. She needs me and I’m distracted,” Ravi explained quietly.

“You’re not losing focus,” N soothed, taking a half step closer to decrease the amount of space between their bodies. “We wouldn’t be here if you were losing focus.” Ravi lifted a heavy hand and cupped N’s cheek in a mirror of N’s position, and N felt his heart rate pick up at the touch. Ravi’s tongue darted across his lips, his eyes roiling with unspoken thoughts. N could feel his cheeks heating up.

“I’m more distracted than I come off,” Ravi said after several moments. He licked his lips again, hesitation taking over his expression. He pulled back and stepped around N, headed toward the third bed. “We should sleep more.”

“We should treat that cut,” N said quickly, reaching out and grabbing Ravi by the wrist. Ravi stilled, shoulders tense. “Hyuk bought new healing salve from Jin.” Ravi looked over his shoulder at N. “We should test it out.” Ravi sighed, shoulders relaxing.

“Fine,” he breathed. N smiled at Ravi, brittle and almost hollow. He was worried about Ravi, too worried to properly fake a happy mood. He tugged Ravi over to Hyuk’s bag and retrieved the salve from the side pocket Hyuk had placed it in. He pulled Ravi down to sit on the floor and settled in front of him. N opened the tin the salve was in and scooped a bit out before recapping it. Gently, he dabbed it over the cut and blooming bruise on Ravi’s face. Ravi hissed at the sting of the salve, but otherwise remained quiet as N smoothed it over the injuries.

“The man at the temple asked about you,” Ravi murmured after several long moments of silence. N stilled, willing his hand not to shake.

“What did he want to know?” N asked, cursing the waver in his voice.

“He wanted to know why you were traveling with us,” Ravi answered.

“What did you tell him?” N asked.

“That you were helping me,” Ravi said. “He seemed content with the answer.” N relaxed, dropping his hand back to his side.

“He must have thought it was odd for me to be with you,” N murmured, dropping his gaze to his lap. Ravi reached out and took N’s hand and squeezed it.

“A lot of people do, but it doesn’t matter. You’re doing what you _want_ to do, right?” Ravi said. N’s stomach flipped. He supposed that’s exactly what he was doing–doing what he wanted instead of what was expected. The realization felt so rebellious for reasons he couldn’t pin.

“I am,” N murmured, and Ravi squeezed his hand tighter. “I’m going with you to the valley, whether you want me to stay behind or not.” Ravi chuckled hollowly, leaning forward until his forehead knocked into N’s.

“I don’t have a good reason to ask you to stay behind anymore,” Ravi murmured, his grip on N’s hand loosening so his fingertips could brush over N’s wrist. A shiver of excitement ran down N’s spine, and he could feel his cheeks heating up at the intimacy of the moment.

“I don’t think you had a good one to start,” N breathed, leaning in without thinking. Their lips brushed tentatively for the briefest of moments before Ravi tilted his head closer, pressing their lips more firmly together. Ripples of desire coursed through N’s body, everything flushing. He wanted _more_.

“ _There are lines we shouldn’t cross,” the gentle voice of the man from the temple echoed in warning._

They parted naturally after just a moment and N let what had just happened sink in. They’d kissed–kissed. _“Will you abandon your morals?”_ N jerked back, flushed red and mind reeling. He stood, almost out of breath, and wiped the excess salve off his fingers onto his pants.

“We should try to get more sleep,” N murmured, refusing to look directly at Ravi, his confused expression clear in N’s periphery. He stepped around Ravi and went to his bed. He could feel the burn of Ravi’s eyes on his back, but he ignored it, opting to bury himself under his covers. Ravi remained silent, and after a few moments N heard the creak of the third bed as Ravi sat on it. N brought his fingers to his lips, flushing so deeply that it was uncomfortable under the sheets. _What_ lines shouldn’t he cross? What _morals_ did he need to uphold? He wanted to kiss Ravi again, even if it meant crossing those lines and abandoning those morals.

-.-.-.-.-.-

_He tucked his knees in close to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs, resting his chin on his knees. He looked out over the village from his perch on the temple rooftop with a somber expression, the sound of mourning wails washing over him more thoroughly than the gentle breeze that rustled the leaves. There was a quiet rustle beside him and a man came to sit next to him._

_“Things have been set in motion,” the man said, his voice as quiet and airy as the breeze._

_“I don’t like having to watch this play out,” N said, voice trembling. “I want to **help** them.”_

_“No matter how much it is in our nature to help, there are lines we shouldn’t cross,” the man said in warning. “This needs to play out.”_

-.-.-.-.-.-

“There’s a weapon’s shop across from the magic academy,” Ravi’s voice drifted across the room into N’s sleep, pulling him from his troublesome dreams. “Namjoon said it was the best in the city. We should buy new weapons from there before we head out. I don’t know if my sword will make it through the forest.”

“Mine would have to at least get sharpened,” Hyuk said. “How expensive were their blades?”

“1500 Fol a piece,” Ravi sighed. “But there was a sword engraved with runes that I’d prefer to get if we can, that ran for 2500.” There was a clatter of coins and N rolled over to look at them. Ravi and Hyuk were seated on the floor at the foot of their beds, their coin purses poured out between them. Hyuk made quick work of counting the contents.

“2500,” Hyuk sighed.

“You won a lot last night,” Ravi said.

“The salves and potions I bought from Jin took most of what I won in that village,” Hyuk said, coins clinking as he put them back in a purse. “We should be good on medical supplies now, but we’ll need, what? 10,000 to buy new weapons, clothes, and food?”

“At least that much,” Ravi said.

“Have you sold the beasts’ teeth and bones yet?” Hyuk asked.

“No. Namjoon said he knew some people that would be interested in buying them at the academy, though,” Ravi said, leaning back. “He’s going to introduce me today. I’ll ask if he knows of some lucrative jobs when we meet.”

“If nothing else, we can work at the docks for a few days and tavern hop at night,” Hyuk said. “We’ll have the money in two more nights, maybe less.” N pushed himself up into a sitting position, drawing Hyuk and Ravi’s attention.

“I’ll do what I can too,” N offered.

-.-.-.-.-.-

N browsed a fruit stand, carefully examining the different fruits and sifting through them. He couldn’t remember what any of them were called or what they tasted like, but they all looked delicious. They’d gone to the morning market to procure food for the day and split up to browse. Ravi was a few stalls to his left and Hyuk had wandered several meters down the street; it wasn’t hard to keep track of either of them given their height. N picked a few pieces of fruit and paid with the bit of money that Hyuk had given him.

“Mangos?” Ravi asked, swooping in next to N and looking over N’s shoulder as he gathered the fruit into into his bag.

“Do you like them?” N asked as he looked up at Ravi, fighting down a blush when he realized how close their faces were. Ravi was practically brushing against his back, his face so close it wouldn’t have been hard to kiss the corner of his mouth. The salve had completely healed the cut and bruise from earlier that morning.

“Yeah, but it’s been years since I had one,” Ravi said. He glanced at N from the corner of his eyes and moved back slightly, a hint of pink on his cheeks and his demeanor turning awkward. “Hyuk’s uncle sometimes has them imported.”

“Then it was a good choice,” N said, the corners of his eyes crinkling ever so slightly. Ravi held his gaze, thoughts N couldn’t guess stirring in the depths of his eyes. “We should get Hyuk,” N suggested after a moment. Ravi snapped from his thoughts and stepped back, his tongue darting over his lips.

“Yeah,” Ravi said dryly, watching as N turned to head in Hyuk’s direction. Ravi fell in step with N, the back of his hand brushing N’s as they walked. After several steps he cleared his throat, drawing N’s full attention. “Are–are we okay? After this morning, I mean,” Ravi asked, glancing back and forth between N and where Hyuk stood on the other end of the street. “You just suddenly ran away.” N felt himself flush. He fixed his eyes forward and raised his hand to smooth the hair framing the side of his face.

“Ye–yeah,” N managed after a few moments. “I’m okay, if you are.” He dropped his hand back to his side and forced himself to glance at Ravi from the corner of his eyes. “I just remembered something and it startled me.”

“You remembered something?” Ravi asked, tone a mixture of emotions.

“I-I don’t think I’ve done something like that before,” N mumbled, his hand coming back up to smooth his hair before he could think about it, his cheeks surely a visible shade of pink.

“Haven’t done–” Ravi stuttered, eyes wide and jaw slack, before snapping his jaw shut and fixing his eyes forward. He swallowed and after a few steps, he brushed the back of his hand to N’s. “If you’re okay, I’m okay,” Ravi mumbled, tangling his fingers with N’s for a few fleeting moments before Hyuk spotted them.

-.-.-.-.-.-

“I’ll give you 1000 Fol for them,” Taehyung, Namjoon’s acquaintance from the magic academy, said. Namjoon elbowed him in the side.

“You know they’re worth more than that,” Namjoon said, glaring at Taehyung. N fought hard to not show shock at the initial offer for the bones and teeth, but the idea that they were worth more than that was too much, causing his eyebrows to rise.

“1000 fol and I’ll throw in a few talismans. It’s all I have,” Taehyung said, flinching away from Namjoon. Ravi and Hyuk shared a look.

“We’ll take it,” Ravi said.

“Cash first, though,” Hyuk said, holding his hand out. Taehyung grumbled under his breath before reaching under the table and pulling out a coin purse. He tossed it on the table and Hyuk snatched it up, immediately pouring the contents onto the table to count the coins.

“And the talismans?” Ravi prompted. Taehyung sighed and pushed away from his work bench. He went to a set of drawers in the back of his work studio and opened the top one. He rummaged through the contents for a few moments before returning with three warding talismans.

“These are made from materials from all over,” Taehyung said. “If you travel, they’ll be useful.” Ravi scooped the talismans up and looked them over carefully.

“The craftsmanship is good,” Ravi observed.

“He’s one of the top in his class,” Namjoon said, patting Taehyung on the shoulder.

“The money checks out,” Hyuk said, gathering the coins to put them back in the pouch. Taehyung reached across the table and swept the beast teeth and bones towards himself.

“I’m going to use these for my final project,” Taehyung said, beaming to himself. He looked up at Namjoon. “Did the shipment of holy water from the Pandal Crystal Springs come in with the last shipment?”

“It should have. What are you going to use it for?” Namjoon asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Taehyung grinned, standing up.

“Bone broth,” he said excitedly as he headed towards the door. N wrinkled his nose at the thought.

“I don’t even want to know,” Hyuk muttered under his breath, and N silently agreed.

-.-.-.-.-.-

“I know I’ve already asked for a lot from you, but I have one more favor I’d like to ask you,” Ravi prompted as Namjoon walked them out of the academy.

“It depends on the favor,” Namjoon said, looking at Ravi with a cocked eyebrow.

“We need to buy new weapons and supplies before leaving town, but we’re short on money,” Ravi explained. “Do you happen to know where we can earn some money?” Namjoon stopped walking and crossed his arms over his chest, giving Ravi a once over.

“You’re demon hunters right?” he asked rhetorically. “I know how you can really make up for killing our specimen.”


	6. Chapter 6

N stared down at the magic script painted on the stones lining the side of the road. They looked like they’d been there for a while considering how covered with dirt they were, but they were giving off a faint amount of energy. Ravi squatted down next to him, running his fingers across the letters.

“You wrote these?” Ravi asked the man that had brought them here–Yoongi, another acquaintance of Namjoon’s from the written spells department.

“Yes,” Yoongi answered simply. The late morning sun was causing his otherwise brown hair to glint subtle shades of red, drawing N’s attention. It was just the three of them–Hyuk had chosen to take on another job that Namjoon had proposed and was on the other side of the city.

“What is it used for?” Ravi asked.

“It’s like a trip wire, it releases a bit of the energy stored in the script anytime a demon wanders over it or materializes inside its bounds. We’ve been using them to help keep track of and confirm all demon sightings and attacks in this part of town. Sometimes people like to pass off crime as the work of demons,” Yoongi explained. “Namjoon’s been making charts.”

“The academy certainly has a well organized team of demon hunters,” Ravi said dryly, pushing up to stand.

“We’re all just trying to help with the problem in our own way,” Yoongi said. “The frequency of attacks in the region has increased, and we have to do something.”

“The script has been tripped,” N said, feeling like he’d stated the obvious.

“You can sense it,” Yoongi said, looking at N. “A lot of the spells were tripped in this area last night, but there weren’t any reports of attacks or sightings. It’s concerning.”

“So you want to track the demon down?” Ravi asked.

“The spells can’t tell us when, or if, the demon has left the area,” Yoongi said. “Namjoon said that N has a strong sense. If it’s still here, you can find it. And while Ravi beats it into submission, I’ll bind it so it’s powerless.”

“The local Semol won’t cooperate with the academy?” N asked, not quite understanding why they would need N specifically.

“I’m sure you know how fearful they are,” Yoongi sighed, shaking his head. N swallowed, dropping his gaze to the ground. He didn’t want to bring up that he really didn’t know much about the Semol.

“They turn to the temples,” Ravi said, easing the awkwardness building inside of N.

“Yes,” Yoongi said with a frown.

“Even though so many Semol live here, they’re still unwilling to help?” N asked.

“Tradition,” Yoongi said, sounding as if the word left a bad taste in his mouth.

“Then why continue to live here?” N asked.

“A hundred years ago, a plague swept through the region and a large number of Waol congregated. Several of the Semol tribes came here hoping they would have a better chance of surviving in the crowd. A lot of the orphaned children just never left when they grew up.”

“A part of the city, but not,” Ravi said.

“Most would rather watch us die than help,” Yoongi sighed. He turned to look at the alley in front of them and pointed. “This is the outer ring of tripped script. Are you ready?”

“Yeah,” N said, taking a deep breath. He stepped forward, crossing over the script. Nothing felt different on the other side, so N just continued down the alley. Yoongi slipped past N and paused at the other mouth of the alley.

“The next one is this way,” Yoongi said, motioning to the left. N followed him down the side streets weaving through a residential area, not feeling anything until they’d passed the third set of scripts. N stilled, the hair on his arms pricking at the feel of the energy in the air. It was faint, but he could feel it. Ravi stopped by N’s side, his hand hovering over the small of N’s back.

“Are you okay?” Ravi asked quietly. Yoongi had stopped a few meters down the street when he realized N and Ravi weren’t following him anymore. N swallowed, looking around at the buildings.

“There is something near by,” N said.

“The next set of triggered script is this way,” Yoongi said, motioning.

“No, I don’t think it’s that way,” N said, turning towards one of the houses. It felt like the energy was coming from there. The closer he got to the building, the stronger the feeling was. He stilled at the door, trying to concentrate on the energy. “I think this is the place you’re looking for,” N said as Ravi and Yoongi came to his side. Ravi gave N’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze and N knocked on the door. They waited quietly, but there was no answer. Ravi reached around N and knocked on the door again. When there still wasn’t an answer, Ravi turned to Yoongi.

“Would we get in trouble if we just go in under these circumstances?” Ravi asked.

“Probably,” Yoongi said. “Are you sure it’s inside the house?” he asked, turning to N.

“There’s something in there,” N said, reaching out to touch the door.

“Then I think we should chance it,” Ravi said, nudging past N to grab the doorknob. N stepped back, his stomach knotting when Ravi was unable to open the door.

“Let me,” Yoongi said, pulling out a pocket knife. Ravi stepped back, and Yoongi kneeled in front of the door. He carved a rune just over the doorknob then stood. He rattled the knob, then rammed the door with his shoulder. There was a cracking sound and the door gave way. Acrid energy spilled past the door, causing N to stumble back, his head spinning. Yoongi flinched, shoving the door open and stepping back, hand covering his nose and mouth.

“Blood,” Ravi hissed, drawing his sword.

“It smells like something died,” Yoongi wailed.

“It _looks_ like some _one_ died,” Ravi said stepping into the house. N stepped forward, supporting himself on the doorframe. He shook his head, clearing his head of the fog the initial wave of energy had caused. Yoongi slipped past him, following Ravi into the house. N took a deep breath, the smell of death finally hitting his lungs. He took another step forward, fighting down the urge to throw up when he saw the mess in the main room of the small house–a man and a woman mauled on the ground, the intestines of the man spilling out of his body and onto the ground, blood splattered across the floor and low on the walls. N fought down the urge to vomit and averted his eyes.

“H-how did no one report this–” Yoongi stuttered, sounding as if he was also going to be sick. Ravi slowly knelt down beside the woman and tentatively reached out to touch her arm.

“She’s cold, but it doesn’t look like this happened long ago,” Ravi said, the line of his shoulders tense. There was a flicker of shadow at the corner of one of the chests, and N moved before he could even think, closing the distance to Ravi and pulling his dagger from its sheath. The shadow was lunging towards Ravi, and N bolted for Ravi before he could even shout a warning. He was knocked into Ravi, the arm he’d thrown out to protect Ravi searing as the demon–wolf-like in appearance–bit into his arm. N cried out as the demon growled.

It lurched back, jaw still closed around N’s arm, jerking N with it. It released him after another moment and bounded back with another warning growl. N crumpled forward, clutching his arm to his chest–it burnt just as badly as contact with the demon on the ship had, but this time he could feel _blood_. Ravi was already to his feet, standing between N and the demon.

“Are you okay?” Ravi asked, feet scuffing on the floor as he settled into a defensive stance.

“It hurts, but yes,” N gasped.

“Yoongi, if you want this thing, get ready,” Ravi growled before taking a step towards the beast. The front door to the house slammed shut behind N and Yoongi began to chant, the words resounding in N’s head.

_Lord in heaven, give me grace._

_Lord in heaven, give me protection._

_Lord in heaven, give me strength._

_Lord in heaven, let these symbols become the rope that binds the darkness._

The wound on N’s arm throbbed and there was a piercing pain in his skull as Yoongi repeated the chant again and again. Scuffles, growls, a pained whimper from the demon, more scuffles.

 _Let these symbols become the rope that binds the darkness._ Yoongi repeated the words, and the pain flared so much N couldn’t think. There was deep growl and a crash beside him. N looked in the direction of the crash, just barely able to keep his eyes open through the pain–Ravi had crashed to the ground, the demon on top of him, only held at bay by Ravi’s sword. Ravi’s lips were moving in silent words, the demon pressing down on him, eyes a glow. Suddenly, Ravi threw the demon off, a sick snap and clatter accompanying the thump of the demon hitting the wall. Ravi cursed and pushed himself up, and that’s when N spotted the top half of Ravi’s blade several feet to the side.

“You better be almost ready,” Ravi shouted as he got to his feet and shifted into a defensive pose. N reached for his dagger and gripped the handle. The demon lunged and Ravi deflected it, getting dragged back to the ground when the demon caught what was left of his blade in it’s mouth. Ravi released the blade and scrambled away. “Yoongi–” he called, mildly panicking. The demon recovered, dropping the sword to the ground. “Yoongi!” Ravi called again as the demon began advancing on him, and Yoongi’s chanting got faster.

N pushed himself up through the pain and threw his knife at the demon’s back. The butt of the hilt hit the demon and it flinched, it’s attention turning to N. It growled, stepping towards N. N brought his good hand to the floor, digging his nails into the wood as he met the demon’s gaze with a glare. It stilled, and if wolves could smile, N was sure it did. His heart was pounding in his chest, but he could no longer feel any pain. N started to shift into a position to lunge at the wolf, and he saw Ravi dash behind the demon to grab the dagger. The demon lunged forward, but Ravi caught it by stabbing the dagger into its back.

The demon howled and thrashed until it knocked Ravi off. Yoongi came to N’s side and chucked a ball of flat ropes at the beast. It exploded midair, the ropes snaking around the demon, effectively tying it up until it couldn’t move. It thrashed and growled, but couldn’t overpower the ropes. Ravi fell back on his ass, out of breath.

“That would have been so much easier if I could have just _killed_ it,” Ravi panted, glaring at Yoongi. “You’re all fucking _nuts_. Why didn’t you have a ball like that already prepared?”

“I wasn’t expecting a _hellhound_!” Yoongi hissed. “I had to make stronger binds!” He dropped to his knees, hands coming to N’s shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah,” N stuttered, turning his attention from the thrashing demon to Yoongi.

“Let me see your arm,” Yoongi instructed as Ravi pushed himself up and scrambled over to N’s side as well. N presented his arm. Yoongi grimaced when he saw the bite, the edges of the puncture wounds burned. N was starting to be able to feel the pain again, but he tried his best to not let it show on his face.

“It’s as bad as on the boat,” Ravi mumbled, taking N’s arm. “I shouldn’t have let my guard down like I did.”

“We need to get him to Jin,” Yoongi said.

“I’m fine for the moment,” N said, attempting to tug his arm away from Ravi. Ravi refused to let go, brows knitting in disapproval. “The demon is more important.”

“I’ll send a message to the academy,” Yoongi said, standing. There was a creak to their right and everyone’s attention snapped to the source of the sound. A teenage girl poked her head out of a door on the right side of the room, eyes full of fear.

“Is–Is it safe?” she stuttered, eyes darting around the room and landing on the thrashing hellhound. Ravi’s grip on N’s arm tightened for a second before he let go of N’s arm all together and stood. N stood as well, stomach knotting the more he looked at the girl.

“It’s safe now,” Ravi said. “We’ve caught the demon.” The girl’s gaze flickered up to Ravi before falling on the man and woman. She opened the door wider and stepped out into the main room.

“Are–are they–dead?” she asked as she got closer.

“I’m sorry,” Ravi said, stepping forward to meet the girl, arms outstretched as he tried to offer her support. The door to the room she came from continued to swing open and N felt his blood run cold–a spell circle written in blood covered the floor.

“Ravi–” N warned, reaching forward and grabbing the back of Ravi’s shirt.

“Good,” the girl whispered, stilling, her eyes fixed on the man. N’s stomach flipped and Ravi tensed.

“Keep her here,” Yoongi instructed, tone strained. “I’m going to get the Academy and the nearest Temple. This whole area needs to be secured.”

-.-.-.-.-.-

Jin examined the bite on N’s arm carefully, pulling away moments later to jot down notes. When he was done, he applied the salve he’d brought with him on N’s arm and wrapped it in a bandage. Ravi grunted impatiently beside N, having already downed the potion for aches and pains that Jin had given him.

“The wounds should be healed by tonight with the rate you heal,” Jin said as he tied off the bandage. “Until then, avoid getting it wet.”

“Thank you,” N said, smiling up at Jin. Jin returned the smile as he stepped back.

“What’s going to happen to the girl?” Ravi asked, his expression grim.

“I don’t know, but she’ll probably be put on trial,” Jin sighed. “The academy, temple, and Lord’s guard will finish the investigation.”

“Why would she do that?” Ravi mumbled, staring down at his hands. N reached out and put his hand on Ravi’s arm in comfort. Ravi looked up at N, his other hand coming to rest atop N’s. His expression was troubled; N wished he knew how to ease it, but he was just as unnerved by what he’d seen in that house. Humans could be as twisted as demons.

“I don’t know,” Jin said, subdued, seemingly sympathetic of Ravi’s disturbance of the events. “But I’ve heard of it happening before.” Ravi tensed, squeezing his hands into fists. There was a knock at the door and it opened before Jin could move to answer it. Hyuk and another man entered the exam room, covered in thin cuts.

“What’s this I hear about you catching a _hellhound_?” Hyuk asked, skipping pleasantries.

“What’s up with _your_ injuries?” Ravi asked, totally ignoring Hyuk’s question. His frown was set on his lips, but the tension in his shoulders eased visibly.

“We ran into a pair of Waol Fearies’ resting place,” the man with Hyuk offered with a grin. “They weren’t happy.”

“Can you try _not_ getting hurt for once, Jungguk?” Jin scolded, moving to his cabinet to pull out potions for the two.

“Every man needs a few battle scars,” Jungguk quipped with a wide grin.

“Not me, thank you. I’m perfection already,” Jin quipped back, shoving a potion at Jungguk.

“The hellhound,” Hyuk insisted, taking the potion from Jin with a nod of thanks, eyes trained on Ravi.

“We caught a hellhound,” Ravi said, tone making it clear he didn’t want to talk about it.

“Alone?” Hyuk asked anyway.

“Yoongi and I helped,” N said, holding up his injured arm. Hyuk’s attention turned to N.

“What happened?” Hyuk asked, tone turned concerned as he crossed to N. Ravi leaned in close to N, his hand coming to the small of N’s back.

“I let my guard down,” Ravi said, tone heavy.

“The demon tried to jump Ravi and I got in the way,” N said, narrowing his eyes at Ravi. “It had been hiding in the shadows.”

“You’re lucky,” Hyuk said solemnly.

“Very. The hound had killed two people,” Ravi said. “It broke my blade in half.”

“It broke your sword and you still brought it in?” Jungguk asked, coming over to join them. “I wished I’d been there for that.”

“It wouldn’t have broken if I hadn’t been trying to not kill it,” Ravi said flatly.

“ _Right_ ,” Jungguk said, disbelieving. “Hyuk told me stories, but I’d still like to see your skill for myself.” Ravi stiffened, brow twitching. N brushed his hand against Ravi’s thigh in an attempt to calm him. Ravi seemed to be easily riled in the aftermath of everything.

“I think his success speaks for itself,” N tried to diffuse.

“I’m not seeking glory,” Ravi said, and Jungguk’s brows raised, seemingly amused by Ravi’s reaction.

“Jungguk, leave them alone. I don’t want any fights in here,” Jin warned.

“What?” Jungguk asked, turning to Jin with raised hands.

“When are we getting paid?” Ravi asked gruffly, standing. N slid down from the exam table as well.

“Namjoon said to talk to the head of Demonology,” Hyuk answered. Ravi grunted and headed for the door.

“Get a good look over from Jin. I’ll get our pay,” Ravi instructed before ducking into the hall.

“What’s up with him?” Hyuk asked, turning on his heel when N passed him to follow Ravi. N paused in the doorway, looking back at Hyuk.

“The girl we found in the house–It looks like she summoned the demon,” N answered.

“ _Oh_ ,” Hyuk said, eyes wide. N turned back to the hall and jogged to catch up with Ravi. When he reached Ravi’s side, he brushed the backs of their hands together and hooked their first two fingers together.

“Are you okay?” N asked, tone hushed. Ravi stilled, catching N’s hand and bringing him to a stop as well. N turned to him, eyes wide in question. Before he even had time to register what was happening, Ravi had stepped closer, hand on the back of N’s head, lips on N’s. N stiffened, flushed, totally unsure how to react. Ravi broke the kiss almost as quickly as he started it but didn’t move away.

“Jumping in front of that thing was stupid,” Ravi breathed out, a slight tremble to his words. “You were lucky it was just your arm–that it didn’t _break_ your arm.” N reached up and gripped the extra fabric at the waist of Ravi’s shirt, shoulders still tense. He _hated_ that Ravi felt guilty over N’s own decisions.

“Better my arm than your neck,” N said, voice hushed but stern. “I didn’t even think about it, my body just moved. And I don’t regret it.”  Ravi inhaled shakily. N gave Ravi a pointed stare before taking a half step forward and pulling Ravi into a hug. “And neither should you,” N murmured, squeezing Ravi tighter. After a moment Ravi let out a slow breath, returning the hug and forcing himself to relax.

“Thank you for watching my back,” Ravi murmured. N smiled, giving Ravi another squeeze.

“You’re welcome,” N said as he pulled back, hands coming to Ravi’s forearms as he looked Ravi in the eyes. The sound of a door opening down the hall followed by footsteps caused Ravi to step back, eyes averted and a faint blush on his cheeks. N swallowed, feeling a small pang of sadness at the loss of contact before his gaze flickered past Ravi down the hall and landed on Hyuk. N fought down a blush at the thought of Hyuk possibly catching them _again_ , tongue darting across his lips.

“You’re still here?” Hyuk called, brows knit in confusion. From his periphery, N could make out Ravi’s blush deepening.

“I was just convincing him to wait for you,” N lied with a smile. Hyuk cocked an eyebrow at N like he didn’t believe him, but didn’t voice it.

“Thanks,” he said neutrally.

-.-.-.-.-.-

“Are you sure you don’t want a new dagger?” Hyuk asked N as they waited on Ravi to pick out a new pair of pants. “We have more than enough to get you one, and there’s still time to go back and get it.” After the Academy had paid them, they’d gone to the weapons store to replace Ravi and Hyuk’s swords. The Academy had paid them handsomely for capturing the hellhound–twice as much as they’d paid for the Waol faeries– _and_ compensated Ravi for his broken sword. They’d left the academy with 7000 fol, putting them almost at their goal.

“I barely use it,” N insisted, pulling his eyes away from Ravi to look at Hyuk. “The steady-hand rune they added should be enough.” They’d gone to the nearest haberdasher as soon as they’d finished with the weapons shop. It hadn’t taken N long to pick out new clothes–he found the shop overwhelming, so he’d just agreed to the first things that had caught his eye. Hyuk had only taken slightly longer, seemingly having a good eye for what suited him. But Ravi–Ravi was actually trying to find something practical, affordable _and_ fashionable. He’d been debating between three pairs of pants for at least half an hour. N just couldn’t understand it.

“Are you _sure_?” Hyuk asked again. “Because we can go back _right now_ and save ourselves from death-by-boredom.”

“I can hear you, you know,” Ravi said dryly.

“Really, I don’t need a new one,” N insisted. Hyuk sighed and started picking at the lint on a display mannequin’s suit.

“I’ll take these,” Ravi said, holding up a pair of pants.

“Good choice!” the shopkeeper exclaimed.

“This better not be a repeat of the leather pants,” Hyuk said under his breath, causing N to snort.

-.-.-.-.-.-

N poked at the meat on his plate, resisting the urge to wrinkle his nose. One bite had been enough for him to decide that he did _not_ want to eat the rest of the meal, but he didn’t want to be rude. Hyuk was already halfway through his plate, seemingly unable to eat it fast enough. Ravi was eating more leisurely, eyes frequently on N and making him squirm. He felt pressured to eat the food. The vegetables were long gone, leaving the sizeable meat portion.

“What _is_ this?” N finally asked, unable to resist the question any longer.

“Pig intestines,” Hyuk said cheerfully around his food. N almost gagged, the very idea of the food sounding unappealing, and knowing what it tasted like, the texture, just made it even worse.

“Are you okay?” Ravi asked, concerned, reaching across the table for N’s hand. N nodded pushing his plate across the table.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I can finish that,” N said. Hyuk stared at N, slacked jawed.

“How can you _not_ like it?” Hyuk asked in mild horror.

“How _can_ you like it? The texture and taste–” N said, cutting himself short when one of the tavernmaids walked past the table. “If you love it so much, just eat my portion too.” That seemed to placate Hyuk and he reached across the table to claim the unwanted meat.

“I don’t understand his love for it either,” Ravi said, retracting his hand. “It’s cheap commoner’s food. Ham and bacon and the belly meat taste _so_ much better.”

“I would eat this every day if I could,” Hyuk said around another mouthful of meat. N grimaced.

“Trust me, you’d be as impartial to it as me if you did,” Ravi said dryly.

“I could never get tired of it,” Hyuk insisted, shoving more into his mouth. Ravi shook his head and reached for his mug of beer and downing it. When he put the mug down, he waved over a tavernmaid.

“Do you have anything stronger?” Ravi asked when one came to their table. N raised his brows, sitting up straighter.

“We have mead and wine,” she said with a smile.

“Mead,” Ravi said, not putting too much thought into it.

“Will that be three?” she asked, looking around the table.

“Two,” Hyuk corrected before Ravi could speak, shooting Ravi a grin.

“Then I’ll be right back,” the tavernmaid said with a smile before departing for the bar.

“Are you going to get drunk again?” Hyuk asked before shoving more meat into his mouth.

“No, I just need to take the edge off my thoughts,” Ravi sighed, slumping. N gnawed at the inside of his lip and reached across the table to place his hand on Ravi’s. “Are you?” Ravi asked, looking up at Hyuk.

“Definitely not,” Hyuk said, gaze fixed on N’s hand on Ravi’s. N swallowed, sheepishly withdrawing his hand. Being physical in public didn’t seem appropriate, at least not when sober. “I just need to loosen up enough to fit in. There’s already darts starting up over there.” Hyuk nodded towards one of the corners of the tavern.

“Should I play too?” Ravi asked, glancing over at the other table.

“You aren’t _tired_ after your fight with the hellhound today?” Hyuk asked, raising his eyebrows. There was a hidden meaning in Hyuk’s expression that N couldn’t decipher. Ravi’s brows knit together, and N found himself looking between the two in confusion.

“I just want to help earn enough to get back on the road,” Ravi said firmly. The tavernmaid returned with the drinks, and Hyuk waited until she’d left to speak.

“We could do a double attack,” Hyuk mused aloud. “A test of brains and brawn. Though you could probably find better distractions at the inn.”

“I’m _not_ looking for distractions,” Ravi hissed, reaching across the table and hitting Hyuk on the back of the shoulder. Hyuk broke into an amused grin, leaving N confused.


	7. Chapter 7

“Do you have any memories of playing darts?” Ravi asked, leaning in close to N’s ear, arm outstretched behind him. Ravi’s proximity, the light tickle of his breath, sent a pleasant shiver down N’s back. They were sitting next to each other along a wall, watching Hyuk play darts with a group of men.

“No,” N answered, keeping his eyes trained on Hyuk’s hand as he prepared to throw a dart. “I don’t remember my hobbies.” Ravi sighed and leaned his head against N’s shoulder, his mead mug cradled on his lap. N’s grip tightened on the glass he was holding. He liked the contact with Ravi, and now that the general crowd was more inebriated than before, the contact didn’t feel as out of place.

“It’ll come back in time,” Ravi said. N hummed and brought his glass to his lips to sip, nose wrinkling at the tartness. Hyuk had suggested he try wine and N wasn’t sure he liked it–it was more palatable than the beer and mead he’d tried, but he could still taste the foul alcohol.

“I don’t see how you enjoy drinking this stuff,” N said as he lowered his glass. Ravi straightened, turning to look at N and leaning in to be better heard.

“It relaxes the body,” Ravi said, the hand at N’s shoulder brushing up the curve towards his neck before lifting away, “and mind.” He flicked at some of the short hairs at the top of N’s head before dropping his hand back to N’s shoulder. Another pleasant shiver reverberated through N’s body as he held Ravi’s gaze–his pupils were wide with interest and he had a small smirk on his lips.

“I don’t know if I’d call it true relaxation,” N said. “You always seem miserable the next day.” Ravi turned away with a barking laugh.

“Drinking must not be a Semol thing,” Ravi concluded, relaxing back into his seat and looking at N with a smile. It felt like Ravi’s expression warmed N more than the wine, like his smile was all N needed to ease his troubled heart. He couldn’t remember if Semol drank, but he didn’t feel like he needed to when something as simple as Ravi’s smile seemed to do everything alcohol was loved for. Ravi leaned to N’s ear again. “You look like you want to kiss me,” Ravi murmured, sending yet another pleasant shiver down N’s back, heat pooling low in his stomach.

“So do you,” N murmured daringly. Ravi laughed, leaning into N.

“I should stop drinking now, before I’m actually drunk,” Ravi hummed. This contact, this touch, felt so comfortable.

-.-.-.-.-.-

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay with Hyuk?” N asked, as he followed Ravi up the stairs to their room. They’d left the tavern a few minutes ago, coin purse significantly heavier than when they’d arrived there. Hyuk had insisted on going to _another_ tavern to try to get more money than they needed.

“Yeah,” Ravi hummed, opening the door to their room. “I’ve had enough for the night. There’s only so much of Hyuk on a winning streak that I can take.”

“It’s really amazing how good he is with that sort of thing,” N said, closing the door to their room behind him. Hyuk had won a lot of money through the bets on darts, and they’d made their escape just as the locals got riled enough to start a fight.

“Sometimes I wonder if he’s not actually a monster,” Ravi sighed. “He’s been playing darts and terrorizing our village since he was a small child.”

“Terrorizing?” N laughed.

“The kids in the village used to call him Hyuk the Terrible,” Ravi said, a grin spreading across his lips.

“And what did that make you?” N asked, stepping away from the door.

“Poor Ravi,” Ravi said, grin turning into a smirk. N laughed.

“He couldn’t have been that bad since he’s here with you,” N said between his laughs.

“No, but he did get me in a lot of trouble growing up,” Ravi said, eyes twinkling.

“So he tells me,” N hummed, amused.

“That brat,” Ravi grumbled jokingly, turning away to toss his sword and bags next to his bed.

“I agree,” N laughed, putting his own bags near the door. When he turned back around, Ravi was watching him, the same look of desire filling his eyes as had been there in the tavern.

“Though I’ll have to thank him later for the opportunity,” Ravi hummed as he closed the gap between them.

“Opportunity?” N asked, cocking his head slightly to the side, not quite following Ravi’s train of thought. Ravi brought his hand to the side of N’s neck. A pleasant shiver ran down N’s back at the touch.

“To be alone with you,” Ravi clarified, voice dropping half an octave and pressing his forehead to N’s. Ravi smelled like alcohol, but N supposed he did too considering where they’d been and what they drank. N swallowed, feeling a blush rise on his cheeks. “I’ve wanted to be alone with you all day.” N felt himself flush deeper. The tension between them was starting to feel palpable, and jolts of anticipation coursed through him as Ravi’s other hand tentatively came to N’s hip.

“What did you want to do alone with me?” N asked, tone coming out breathier than he intended, already having a good idea of the answer.

“This,” Ravi murmured before tipping his head to press his lips to N’s. The moment felt so comfortable, so right. The tenseness in Ravi’s shoulders had melted away over the last few hours, leaving his mood fairly good. It put N at ease. Ravi broke the kiss, pulling back just slightly. “Is this okay?” Ravi murmured, voice low.

“Yeah,” N breathed, bringing his hands to Ravi’s waist. Ravi leaned in again, this kiss unlike the others they’d shared, deeper, more passionate. Ravi broke the kiss before N could piece his mind together enough to reciprocate.

“I’m not moving too fast, am I?” Ravi asked, breathless.

“Not at all,” N murmured, closing the distance between their lips, hand coming to the back of Ravi’s head. The kiss was awkward, clumsy, but Ravi reciprocated almost immediately. N let him take the lead, relaxing into the kiss as Ravi deepened it.

Ravi tugged him closer by the hips, and N gladly pressed himself against Ravi, heat coursing through his body and pooling low in his body in excitement and anticipation. The heat, the touch left him almost dizzy, and he pressed himself into it even as his back hit the door and Ravi’s tongue slipped into his mouth. He wanted it–he wanted all of Ravi. N wrapped both of his arms around Ravi’s neck and his hands came to N’s waist, pressing into the growing hardness between them. N gasped into the kiss, mind stuttering to a halt at how electric the new sensation was–it was so foreign, yet so delicious. Ravi broke the kiss, pulling back slightly–N instantly missed the physical connection.

“Are you okay?” Ravi asked, pupils blown and decidedly less out of breath than N, but expression concerned. “Am I moving too fast?”

“No,” N breathed, a bit embarrassed he was so breathless when Ravi barely seemed affected. “I like it–a lot, it’s just–new.”

“You like it?” Ravi parroted, something clicking his eyes.

“I like it,” N repeated. Ravi caught his lips, kiss eager, and rolled his hips hard into N’s, ripping a sound N didn’t know he could make from his throat, his mind stuttering again at the sensation. N scrambled for purchase as Ravi rolled his hips again, one of his hands closing into a fist in Ravi’s hair. Ravi groaned and broke the kiss, lips coming to kiss along N’s jaw. Ravi rolled his hips again and N tightened his grip on Ravi’s hair, his other hand fisting Ravi’s shirt.

“You like it,” Ravi breathed against N’s ear, a hint of disbelief in his words–another ripple down N’s spine, adding to the coiling tension, the hardness between them. Ravi rolled his hips again, and this time N pressed back, reveling in the sensation.

“I like it,” he gasped as Ravi’s lips found his neck, his hand pulling at Ravi’s hair.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Ravi mouthed against N’s neck, tensing for a moment. “Fuck, I like that,” he breathed when N relaxed.

“This?” N asked, tugging at Ravi’s hair again. Ravi moaned in affirmation, rolling his hips forward, and N’s mind stuttered again. Ravi’s lips found his and N found himself reciprocating hungrily. When Ravi broke the kiss, he stepped back, pulling N with him by the hips, maintaining eye contact.

“Can we–Can we move to the bed?” Ravi asked, eyes searching N’s. N’s gaze flickered to the beds behind Ravi. Something about moving to the bed felt like it meant he’d be getting in over his head, like he’d be doing something he shouldn’t–and in ways he felt like he was already in over his head, like he was doing something he really shouldn’t. It was a small feeling in the back of his mind, one fighting with a feeling that this was _right_ , that this was what he’d wanted for a long time. “We can–we can stay–here if you like,” Ravi stuttered, drawing N’s attention back to his eyes. His expression was turning worried.

“What do you want to do on the bed?” N asked, gaze flickering back to the bed.

“The same things we’re doing here–whatever you’re comfortable with–If I’m moving too fast–” Ravi spluttered, cheeks tinting. He cut off when N started to laugh.

“The bed is fine,” N laughed, deciding to give into the feelings of desire–because that was what it was–he _desired_ Ravi, _desired_ to build on the feelings of emotional and physical intimacy that had formed over the last several days. Ravi blinked at N, disbelief in his eyes. N just smiled, breaking away and taking Ravi’s hands. He led Ravi to the foot of his bed before turning to him and taking Ravi’s face in his hands. “The bed is fine,” he repeated before leaning up to kiss Ravi. Ravi returned the kiss eagerly, but N broke it, sitting down on the foot of the bed. Ravi held his gaze, squeezing his hands. Ravi swallowed, a shadow flickering in his eyes.

“How is your arm?” Ravi asked suddenly, raising their hands up so he could look at N’s arm. N blinked up at Ravi, confused by the sudden topic change.

“It doesn’t hurt. I can probably take the bandages off now,” N answered, gaze dropping to his arm, afraid the moment had broken.

“Good,” Ravi breathed, releasing N’s hand and bringing a finger to N’s chin. He tilted N’s head back before leaning down and kissing N, eager, passionate–the moment hadn’t broken and N found new excitement flowing through him as Ravi nudged him to scoot further onto the bed and lay back. Ravi settled over him, the hand that had been under N’s chin coming to his neck and his other coming to run along N’s side. N rolled his hips up, hands coming to Ravi’s back. He could feel Ravi’s strength through his shirt.

Ravi broke the kiss, a small moan passing his lips as he kissed along N’s jaw and down his neck. N stifled down a moan of his own when Ravi stumbled upon a sensitive spot on his neck.  He could feel Ravi smile before he gave the spot a nip. N squirmed, hips bucking up and hands clawing into Ravi’s back. Ravi hummed giving the spot another kiss before moving lower and lifting his body slightly as he repositioned himself. N almost whined, but the hand that had been at his waist moved towards his navel, towards the tension and hardness, and N swallowed.

“Is it okay if I touch you here?” Ravi asked.

“Yeah,” N breathed as he closed his eyes, bracing for the sensation. The first brush of Ravi’s fingers was light, hesitant, but it sent a pleasant jolt through him all the same. N pressed his hips up into Ravi’s touch, and the second touch was bolder, using the whole hand.

“Fuck, you’re so hard,” Ravi breathed in awe, starting a rhythm with his hand. N opened his eyes and lifted his head to look at Ravi. His eyes were trained at N’s cotch, gaze reverent, and N felt himself flush in embarrassment. He dropped his head back to the mattress and closed his eyes, focusing on the sensation of the hand between his legs, the building tension. It felt good. It was hard to think of anything else and he was pressing up into the touch.

Ravi’s lips were on his neck again, pressing kisses just below his ear and N couldn’t _think._ He fisted his hand into Ravi’s hair, drawing a muffled moan from him. Ravi pulled back, hand stilling. N groaned in protest but let go of Ravi’s hair and opened his eyes. His gaze met Ravi’s–it was so intense he felt the hardness beneath Ravi’s hand surge. Ravi licked his lips, looking like he was debating what to say or do. After what seemed like forever, Ravi slid his hand up to the hem of N’s pants, fingertips hooking on the edge. N swallowed in anticipation.

“Can I–touch you directly?” Ravi asked. N nodded and Ravi sat back, eyes dropping to N’s crotch as he tugged N’s pants down. Pressure he hadn’t realized had built up released when he sprung free of his pants and he felt his whole body flush in embarrassment under Ravi’s gaze. Ravi tentatively took N in hand, his tongue darting across his lips, gaze filled with raw hunger. The touch sent a jolt through N and he squeezed his eyes shut as Ravi ran his hand across his length, once, twice, thrice. N clenched his hands into fists around the sheets, mind not able to keep up well with the new sensations.

“God, you’re so sensitive,” Ravi breathed in awe. “Have you never touched yourself before?” Ravi ased. N beat his hand on the bed–he couldn’t remember, couldn’t think properly, doubted it, this new, new, _pleasurable_ feeling–”Sorry,” Ravi apologized quickly. “Are you okay?”

“Feels good,” N choked out, forcing his eyes open. Ravi was staring at his face, eyes hungry but full of care and concern. Ravi nodded his understanding, gaze dropping back down.

“Your leaking,” Ravi observed before swiping his thumb over the tip of N’s length and causing N’s mind to stutter. N pressed himself onto his elbows to look between them. Ravi’s attention was focused on N, but he was straining against his own pants.

“What about–you,” N managed. Ravi looked up at him and smiled before shifting and dipping down to kiss N. The kiss swept N away, and between Ravi’s hand and lips, he almost forgot what he’d just been saying. He brought his hand between them, tentatively brushing over the bulge in Ravi’s pants. Ravi moaned and the rhythm of his hand stuttered. He pulled back, looking down at N as N’s touch became more daring.

“Do you want to touch my cock?” Ravi asked.

“I wanna touch it,” N said, nodding for emphasis. Ravi swallowed, hesitating for a moment before sitting back and pulling himself out of his pants. N flushed when he saw it. Swallowing, he reached out and tentatively took it into his hand. Ravi groaned, letting N give him a few strokes before shifting between N’s legs and taking him in hand again. Ravi leaned down to kiss N. N’s mind stuttered and he dropped back onto the mattress, fisting both hands into the sheets–his brain couldn’t seem to handle more than two things at once in such a state. Ravi didn’t seem to mind at, continuing to pump N as he lowered down.

There was a pause in Ravi’s pumping, then his hand was gone. Before N could even whine, he was met with a new sensation–skin on skin, hardness and heat, full body contact. Pressing his hips up to Ravi’s, N moaned into the kiss. He wanted more skin, but he doubted he could get the words out. Ravi rolled his hips down, again, again, again, before he broke the kiss and nuzzled into N’s neck, breath hot on N’s skin. The tension in N’s abdomen was growing so intense it was starting to feel unbearable, like he’d snap if they kept going. He buried his hand in Ravi’s hair, his other grasping at Ravi’s back, and then Ravi’s hand was back between them, holding them together–the friction, the tension–

It was only a few flicks of Ravi’s wrist before the tension snapped, before he was pulsing in Ravi’s hand, before he was overtaken by the peak of pleasure, moan ripped out of him. He went boneless, euphoric, but Ravi kept moving, the sensation so much it was painful. Then just moments later Ravi stilled, spilling with a groan before he too went boneless. It was a few moments before Ravi moved, his breath still a bit ragged. He shifted just enough to kiss N. Drowsiness was starting to set in, but N reciprocated the kiss, reveling in the warmth it filled him with. Ravi rolled off when he broke the kiss and N became vaguely aware that his stomach was sticky.

“Are you okay?” Ravi asked, his fingers finding N’s and lacing together. N squeezed Ravi’s fingers, closing his eyes and letting everything wash over him.

“Yeah,” N managed after a moment. “It was… a lot of new sensations, but it felt good.”

“Do you regret it?” Ravi asked.

_“Will you regret it?” the demon asked, voice deep, serious._

N blinked his eyes open and turned his head to look at Ravi.

“No,” he answered, smile pulling at his lips. “Do you?”

“No,” Ravi answered, a dreamy grin on his lips. “It was amazing.” Ravi shifted onto his side and kissed N again, slow, loving. When he pulled back he sighed. “I should get something to clean us up,” he said before rolling off the bed and disappearing to one of the corners of the room. The drowsiness was starting to carry N off. Ravi returned, damp cloth in hand, and N drifted off while Ravi wiped the stickiness from his stomach.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

_A strangled moan passed Ravi’s lips as he ground his hips forward. He looked so young, his muscles just starting to fill in. The man he was with wasn’t much older, his build slightly smaller but strong enough to pin Ravi to the back of the tavern. Their lips met and Ravi rocked his hips forward again, his hands between their bodies._

_“I want–” Ravi panted when they broke apart, “I want–”_

_“Turn around and I’ll give it to you,” the man said, and Ravi nodded, turning easily under the man’s guidance._

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

_“You’re letting your attachments cloud your judgment.”  N kept his back turned. He found judgmental stares easiest to deal with when they were aimed at his back._

_“My sense of judgment is **fine**. Whatever anyone says, this job isn’t finished. If I stay, the chances of a better outcome increase,” N spat._

_“The punishment will be severe.”_

_“I’m willing to endure it.”_

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“ _And what are you going to do when it gets physical? Are you going to abandon all of your morals?” The words were spoken with crushing weight despite the soft, airy quality of the speaker’s voice. “Right now your actions are forgivable, but if you keep going, I fear that you won’t be able to return. I don’t want to lose any more friends.”_

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

_“He isn’t the only one with the potential. Everything has been set in motion. This will be an age of legends and heroes.”_

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

N woke with a start, heart pounding and a budding hardness between his legs. He gripped the sheets, letting the dreams wash over him. _He isn’t the only one._ _Better outcome. Everything set in motion. Your actions are forgivable._ Dreams of Ravi–He was alone in his bed, he realized. He pushed up and looked around, finding Ravi sleeping on his bed but no Hyuk. Ravi snored, and something about the sound eased some of N’s uneasiness. Still, the dreams bothered him–memories, perhaps. The man from the temple’s voice had rung through his dreams, his memories all day.

 _Friends_. They had been friends? It was the only thing he could remember of the man, but they seemed to talk quite a bit. Even if he’d cryptically warned N when they met, he’d still acted as if he hadn’t known N in front of the others. The interaction had been bugging him, and with the dreams–He threw his covers off and stood, quickly checking his clothes to make sure everything was properly fastened. He grabbed his knife, fastening it at his hip before going to the door–He needed to see the man at the temple.

It had gotten chillier since he and Ravi had returned to the inn, but the position of the moon in the sky hadn’t changed drastically. N’s steps were quick; the sound of his foot falls loud in the deserted streets. The temple was close, just a few minutes walk. When he rounded the corner to the street it was on, he stilled, stomach knotting. A figure was standing in front of the temple, unmoving and tall. N swallowed and forced himself to move forward. The closer he got, the more his stomach twisted–the features of the figure becoming more distinct. Broad shoulders, bright red hair–the man from the temple, from his memories. N’s foot scraped on a pebble. At the sound, the man turned his head, locking gazes with N. N froze, his heart rate rising.

“I’ve been waiting,” the man said, as soft spoken as in his memories. N swallowed.

“You know who I am, don’t you?” N asked, forcing the words past the growing lump in his throat. The man stared at N, gaze soul piercing in a way that made N want to simultaneously squirm and remain perfectly still. When the man moved, N jerked back reflexively. The man was unaffected by N’s reaction, steps quick. He grabbed N’s hand, grip tight, commanding. N tried to jerk his hand away, but failed.

“We should talk inside,” the man said before turning and dragging N towards the temple entrance. N stumbled along after him, eyes trained at the back of his head. Once inside the temple, the man dropped his hand and walked further into the dark sanctuary, the only light filtering in from large windows high on the walls.

“It’s still not too late,” the man said, walking through the moonlight towards the alter. “If you beg, you can come back–the punishment is harsh, but if you beg forgiveness, admit you were wrong–”

“What are you talking about?” N asked his back. The man stilled. “What have I done wrong?”

“You haven’t remembered anything?” the man asked cautiously.

“I remember we were friends, and that we didn’t agree about a lot of things,” N said, stepping further into the temple. “But I don’t remember your name or how we knew each other.”

“Leo,” the man said, voice quiet enough that N almost missed it. There was a flash of pain in N’s temple and he winced, the image of the man before him flickering–black hair, black eyes–

_He found Leo sitting on an old tree stump watching the village children play in the shallows of the river bank, eyes glinting with joy, a smile larger than any N’d seen on him in a while. He could tell that Leo wanted to interact directly with the children._

_“The expression on your face when you watch children is the most precious thing,” N teased, sitting next to Leo. “What is it about them that puts a smile like that on your face?” he asked as he reached out and poked Leo on the cheek. Leo’s smile dropped and he quickly swatted N’s hand away._

_“Children are blessings,” Leo murmured in explanation._

_“Oh?” N prompted, not completely convinced of the sentiment–he’d seen many burdened by unexpected and wanted children over the years._

_“Innocent until corrupted by those around them. I want to protect that for as long as I can.” Leo looked back out at the children, a deep love in his eyes that N didn’t doubt filled every fiber of his being._

“My name is Leo,” the man repeated.

_“I failed,” Leo sobbed into N’s shoulders, whole body trembling with the force of his tears. N hugged him tighter, rubbing Leo’s back soothingly. Even **they**_ _couldn’t foresee all dangers, especially if the danger was the kind that came from inside. They could do many things, but mind reading wasn’t one._

“You disobeyed direct orders and made a deal with a demon for selfish goals,” Leo said, words hard as steel.

_“Now **this** is a surprise,” the demon said, brows high on his forehead. He had light sandy blond hair, tinged ever so slightly pink, and jarringly blue eyes that glinted in amusement._

_“I want to make a deal,” N said sternly. The demon stared at him for a moment before breaking into laughter, almost crumpling to the ground. He howled before straightening._

_“Now just **what** could you want from **me** that you can’t do yourself?” the demon asked._

N squeezed his eyes shut and brought a hand to his forehead. His mind was spinning and the pain pulsed. Leo’s hands came to his arms to steady him, the touch was warm, soothing.

“I don’t want you to fall,” Leo breathed.

_“You know the rules. There is only so much I can do while maintaining equal balance,” the demon said. The saccharine smile had dropped, and his eyes were filled with annoyance._

_“Then take my soul as payment,” N demanded. The demon scoffed, understanding N’s intent, the smile returning to his lips._

_“Take an angel’s soul?” the demon asked, sounding as if he thought the idea was absurd. “I don’t think I can.” He rested a hand on his hip and shifted his weight to one side, affecting a relaxed air. “But I don’t think my boss would want me to pass up an offer like this. I’ll talk to him on your behalf.”_

N jerked, but Leo held him in place. _Angel_. He felt faint. Everything was too much. He tried to push away from Leo again, but failed.

“Just what am I trying to do?” N breathed. “Why did I make a deal with a demon?”

“Even if you accomplish it, it won’t matter,” Leo said firmly. “It’s only the first test. You can’t stop this.” It was the same argument from his memories, that they’d had numerous times before. N lashed out, this time successfully knocking Leo away.

“You don’t _know_ that!” N shouted. Leo pursed his lips, eyes narrowing. “I don’t want to go back with you.”

“You’ll _fall_ ,” Leo hissed.

“I don’t care if I–if I– _fall_. I’m happy.” Leo remained silent, glare piercing, hurt in the depths of his eyes. “I did this for a reason, and I trust myself,” N said, stepping back until his back hit the door. He felt out the handle, fingers closing tightly around it when he found it. “I’m sorry.” Leo swallowed, lip quivering, eyes hard with betrayal, but he didn’t move to stop N. N opened the door and turned to leave.

-.-.-.-.-.-

He got as far away from the temple as he could before collapsing against a wall. _Angel_. He turned his gaze skyward. _Angel_. Not Semol. It made perfect sense and absolutely no sense at the same time. N collapsed onto the ground, turning to press his back to the wall. He pulled the bandages from his arm. The hellhound bite had completely healed over like Jin had said it would, no trace of scarring. N ran his fingers over his arm. He sucked in a breath and closed his eyes, leaning his head on the wall.

 _“How the mighty have fallen,”_ the words of the demon from the woods drifted back to him. All the challenging stares, the mocking grins–the demons had _known_. One had even tried to _eat_ him despite it. He rubbed his hands down his face with a groan. His lack of knowledge of random things around him made more sense, as did the memories of small children and how odd the concept of being physically attractive felt. And if he was supernatural, perhaps his resistance to minor injury and rapid healing abilities came naturally. He’d always felt a certain _otherness_ ; the idea of being Semol had fit that so well. Everyone had so easily assumed he was Semol, and that raised new questions about the Semol–had the demon shaped him into the form of a Semol, or did the Semol share traits with Angels? He probably knew the answer before his memories had been taken.

Through everything, he certainly didn’t _feel_ like an angel _or_ Semol, but perhaps his current state had been part of his deal with the demon. But for what purpose? He had abandoned his post for a reason, but he wasn’t even sure that he was actually accomplishing it. He banged his head against the wall, wincing at the pain that let him know he was very much awake. He ran his hands down his face again, then back up the side and through his hair. He just had to trust himself, he supposed. Leo was worried that N would fall for his actions, had implied that N had almost crossed the line of no return, so he _had_ to be on the right track.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Hyuk still hadn’t returned by the time N had gotten back to the room. N closed his hand into a fist, swallowing. He was vaguely worried about Hyuk, but by Hyuk’s own words, it was a waste of energy to go searching. Ravi shifted slightly before snoring particularly loudly. N sighed, crossing the room to Ravi’s bed. His sleeping face was relaxed in a way N wasn’t used to seeing when Ravi was awake. It was reassuring that, at least for the moment, Ravi could be totally relaxed.

N sat on the edge of Hyuk’s bed, watching Ravi. He wasn’t sure what his goals had been before he’d lost his memories, wasn’t sure how far he’d strayed from them, or if they’d change as he moved forward. The only thing he was sure of was that he couldn’t go back. Not that he wanted to. Not after remember how much he’d disagreed with his orders. Not after committing to help Ravi. Ravi and Hyuk had shown him so much _kindness_. Without them, he doubted he’d have left Belkin or would have remembered as much as he had. And the bond he was forming with them wasn’t something he wanted to give up. Hyuk was quickly becoming like a brother and Ravi–

He couldn’t deny that he found Ravi _attractive_ , both in terms of personality and looks. He had his moody moments, but his heart was always in the right place, and he’d been so _sweet_ in bed earlier. The things they had done had probably added to his list of near-unforgivable sins, but N didn’t regret it. He’d gladly do it again. He wanted to stay by Ravi’s side. He wanted to explore the feelings Ravi roused in him.

N gnawed at his lower lip, dropping his gaze to his hands. He couldn’t tell either Ravi or Hyuk what he’d remembered. He couldn’t remember what his main goal was, and even if he did, he couldn’t guarantee that both Ravi and Hyuk would believe him.

There was a creak in the hallway and N’s gaze snapped up to the door just as it started to open. Hyuk poked his head around the door, brows knitting when he saw N seated on his bed. N immediately stood.

“You’re back,” N murmured. “Did you have success?”

“Yeah,” Hyuk said carefully, quizzical gaze flitting to Ravi before returning to N.

“That’s good,” N said, forcing a smile and moving towards his bed. “We should sleep.” Hyuk caught his arm as he passed and yanked him around to look at him.

“Are you okay?” Hyuk asked, voice hushed and brows still knit together. “You look distraught.” N swallowed, diverting his gaze from Hyuk’s.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” N murmured in reply.

“Are you sure? Ravi didn’t do or say anything did he?” Hyuk asked. N looked back up at him, not understanding where the comment had come from.

“No, he–Ravi didn’t do anything to hurt me. I just,” N said, pausing to take a breath and find the right words, “I just–remembered some things.”

“You look like you did after seeing the demon in Ajol,” Hyuk murmured. N could hear the genuine concern in his voice. _Angel_ was probably close enough to _demon_ in this situation; the experiences had been similarly jarring.

“They weren’t– _pleasant_ –memories,” N murmured, dropping his gaze to Hyuk’s shoes. “I’ll be fine. I just need some time to process it.” Hyuk’s grip on his arm tightened.

“If you need to talk about it, we’re here, you know,” Hyuk offered. The words pulled a small smile from N.

“Thank you,” N mumbled, and Hyuk let him go. He crawled in bed and turned his back to Hyuk’s, but sleep didn’t come easy.


	8. Chapter 8

“Are you fucking serious?” Ravi asked, staring straight ahead at the stables.

“The guy owed me a _lot_ of money,” Hyuk shrugged, grin on his face.

“You didn’t win those playing darts,” Ravi growled, glaring at Hyuk.

“No, but I won them fairly,” Hyuk hummed, taking an easy step towards the stable. “And I got us a guide for the Blue Woods.”

“Your luck is inhuman,” Ravi grumbled. The word drew N’s attention, pulling him from the haze he’d slipped into. Ravi turned to look back at N, cocking an eyebrow. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Ravi asked gently. N smiled tightly and nodded, taking a step forward.

“I’m sure,” N reassured. They’d been through it twice already since getting up. Once Ravi had recovered from Hyuk pushing him out of bed onto the floor, he’d been quite chipper–at least until he noticed how out of it N was. N had assured Ravi once before leaving the inn, and again in the market when they stocked up on food. Ravi didn’t quite seem to believe him, but N just needed a bit of space to sort through everything.

Ravi put his arm around N’s shoulder, pulling him in close to his side as he guided N towards the stable after Hyuk. When they neared the door, Ravi dropped his arm back to his side and stepped ahead. N stilled, eyes trained on the large animals in the stalls–horses, an animal he recognized. The horse nearest to him came to the door of it’s stall and poked its head out. N took a cautious step towards it, in awe. It wasn’t as big as the cattle outside of Belkin, but N could tell it was smarter–or at least understood people better. When he was only a few steps away, the horse made noise and N jumped, flinching back a step. He hadn’t expected it to be so _loud_.

“Not used to horses?” a familiar voice asked from his left. N snapped his head in the direction of the voice–Jungguk stood a few feet away, hand on hip, an amused expression on his face.

“You did something illegal, didn’t you?” Ravi asked, poking Hyuk’s chest. They were behind Jungguk, a few meters down the stable.

“It wasn’t illegal,” Hyuk insisted. “At least, probably not.” Ravi groaned, lifting a hand to his face.

“Uh, not really,” N said, looking back at Jungguk.

“I hope you get used to them fast,” Jungguk said, “or the next few days will be hard.” N blinked at Jungguk in confusion. “You weren’t listening?” he asked after a beat, and N peeked around him at Hyuk and Ravi for clarification. “I’m taking you through the woods and up the mountains.” N straightened, full attention returning to Jungguk.

“What did Hyuk beat you at?” N asked, brows knitting together.

“Ask him if you want to know. I promised not to tell,” Jungguk replied, his amusement at N and Ravi’s scepticism visible in his eyes. N’s expression soured. He wasn’t sure he could handle _two_ brats.

-.-.-.-.-.-

For all of Jungguk’s amusement over N’s unfamiliarity with horses, it was _Ravi_ that had the most trouble getting his horse to heed him. It had taken a great amount of effort to stop the pair from walking in near circles, but once they were going, the horse seemed content to follow the others. They’d passed a number of small villages on their way to the forest. Most of the land surrounding Dalnisia was used for farmland–plants N had seen before but couldn’t name. As they traveled farther out, the number of trees dotting the rolling hills increased, and the Blue Woods became visible on the horizon. There was sporadic conversation between Jungguk and the others, but N spent most of the journey lost in thought.

-.-.-.-.-.-

It was just after sunset that they reached a small village near the outskirts of the woods–the last village, according to Jungguk. They’d spoken with the village leader, and one of the men of the town agreed to lend them his barn for the night. They’d tied the horses near the back of the barn and paid the farmer for meat and feed. By the time he’d been dismounted for a few minutes, N felt sore from using muscles he wasn’t used to.

“I _hate_ horses,” Ravi groaned as he flopped down against a support beam in the barn. One of the horses made a noise as if to say it hated Ravi too, but Ravi ignored it in favor of digging through his bag.

“You mean you hate horseback riding,” Hyuk said, crouching down next to Ravi. Ravi pulled one of Jin’s potion bottles from his bag and lifted it to his lips.

“It’s a few days until the top by horseback,” Jungguk warned, and Hyuk plucked the potion away from Ravi before he could drink the whole thing. Ravi groaned, lolling his head back against the beam, eyes settling on where N had started to set up for sleep.

“Better ration these then,” Hyuk said, standing and taking a swallow of the potion. Hyuk held the potion out to N, and N took it. He took a sip before motioning towards Jungguk.

“I’m used to it,” Jungguk waved off, so N finished the bottle’s contents. Ravi pushed himself to his feet and crossed to N, flopping back down.

“The woods ahead look thick. Are you sure the horses can make it through?” Ravi asked, taking the empty bottle from N’s hand. N gave him a disapproving look, but Ravi didn’t seem to care, instead lifting the bottle to his lips to get the last drop out.

“It’s thick, but I’ve taken a horse just fine before,” Jungguk said, throwing a blanket down next to where Ravi was seated. N shifted, coming to sit with his back against the barn wall. He drew his knees up, resting his arms on his knees.

“Just how many times have you gone to the Valley of Lost Souls before?” Ravi asked incredulously, lowering the bottle.

“I’ve never gone down to the valley, but I’ve been to the top of the mountain twice,” Jungguk answered, grinning. “I’ve always wanted to go down, but I’d probably get excommunicated when I made it back.”

“You’re quick to take risks,” N observed quietly, drawing everyone’s attention.

“You could say the same about us though,” Hyuk said, sitting beside N. “Even before we decided to go through the woods, we were risking everything.” N licked his lips, finding the words especially true for himself–he couldn’t even remember what he was risking everything for.

“You have business in the valley, right?” Jungguk asked. Ravi grunted, shifting. A tension came to his brows and N found himself reaching for Ravi’s hand in comfort.

“What do you know of the woods?” Hyuk asked, peering around N.

“The locals are scared of the woods because of the beasts, but I’ve never run into anything worse than a hellhound,” Jungguk said, leaning forward to meet Hyuk’s gaze. “Legend has it that there’s a wyrm that sleeps deep in the Blue Woods.” At mention of the wyrm, a shiver ran down N’s spine and he felt his stomach flip. The wyrm–it wasn’t good news. “The first time I went to the top of the mountain, I wanted to find it, but I couldn’t find any trace of it.”

“You actually wanted to poke that beast?” Hyuk laughed in disbelief.

“I thought maybe I could kill it,” Jungguk laughed. “But that was when I was just starting out as a hunter.”

“It’s bad luck to talk about the wyrm,” the farmer’s voice came from the barn door. He was holding a plate with some kind of bird meat on it, and his wife stood just behind him, a basin and a few cloths in hand. “You talk as if it’s legend or a joke, but this village is the first thing in it’s path to Dalnisia.” Jungguk’s expression sobered at the farmer’s sharp tone.

“Sorry,” Ravi apologized as he hopped to his feet. “We didn’t mean to be disrespectful.”

“We’ve brought you fresh chicken and water to bathe with,” the farmer said, holding the chicken out to Ravi. “If you’re going to the forest, purify yourselves and don’t bring danger back.”

“Right,” Ravi mumbled, taking the chicken. The farmer’s wife placed the basin just inside the barn door. “Thank you.” When the farmer left, Ravi turned back to the rest of them with a sigh.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Being inside the barn felt suffocating; the stale air, the number of bodies, the tight space made N feel like he was too cooped up to think. Sleeping at the inns had been better, but he felt like he preferred the nights they camped outside the best. There was a freeness when he was surrounded by nature, probably a preference derived from being an angel. So after washing up, N excused himself to sit outside. He settled under a tree within sight of the side of the barn, where he could look at the vastness of the hilly farmland and the night sky. How much of the world had he seen but couldn’t remember? How many postings had he had?

He hadn’t been under the tree long when he heard the scrape of footsteps in the dirt. N turned, finding Ravi with a sheepish smile.

“You do this a lot,” Ravi observed.

“The walls are suffocating sometimes,” N offered in explanation. Ravi grunted in understanding, closing the distance between them.

“Mind if I join you?” Ravi asked when he was by N’s side. N shook his head and Ravi sat down, shifting so their arms were brushing. N’s hand found his and he laced their fingers together, the touch comforting. After a few moments of quiet, Ravi shifted and rested his head against N’s shoulder. N felt his cheeks flush.

“You seem like you’re carrying a lot of weight on your shoulders today,” Ravi said after a few beats, jarring N. N swallowed, training his eyes skyward. “I’m worried even if you say you’re fine.”

“It’s not pleasant being on the other side, is it?” N mumbled.

“No,” Ravi said, squeezing N’s hand. Maybe he should confide in Ravi, even if it was just a bit. He took a shaky breath, fortifying his resolve.

“I ran away from my job. My superiors wanted me to move to a new place, but I wasn’t ready to leave. I thought I could help more, so I ran away and made a deal with a demon,” N murmured. Ravi shifted, straightening.

“Do you remember the deal?” Ravi asked, gaze boring into N. He squirmed, uncomfortable under the gaze.

“No,” N said honestly. “I-I was a–cleric,” he lied, saying the closest believable profession, “but I can’t remember the reason I ran away, either.” He turned his head to meet Ravi’s gaze. “Even if I did, I don’t think I can go back. I went against everything.”

“A cleric,” Ravi said slowly, gaze dropping. “We had our suspicions…”

“I don’t regret what we did last night,” N said, sensing hesitation in Ravi’s expression. He didn’t want Ravi to think he regretted what they did, regardless of whether it was the suddenness of his behavior or the things he remembered. He brought his hand to Ravi’s chin, and Ravi’s gaze met his, searching. “I wanted it, and I’d like to do it again.”

“Again?” Ravi asked, dazed, voice low and husky.

“Don’t you?” N asked, cupping Ravi’s cheek. Ravi swallowed.

“I do.” The words came out almost choked. “I’ve been thinking about last night a lot.” N let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, a small smile coming to his lips. He leaned forward, catching Ravi’s lips in a kiss. When he moved to pull back, Ravi followed, catching his lips again, deepening the kiss. N melted, letting Ravi take his breath away, letting the pleasure sweep him away.

He slid his hand to the back of Ravi’s neck and played with the short hairs. Ravi broke the kiss and brought his lips to N’s jaw as he began to shift their position so Ravi’s leg was between N’s. N let out a small moan, tilting his head to give Ravi better access. Ravi trailed kisses along N’s jaw, towards his ear. When Ravi’s teeth met the flesh on his earlobe, N sucked in a breath, a shock of pleasure shooting down into the budding tension in his abdomen. He buried his hand into Ravi’s hair, fisting it when Ravi sucked at the soft flesh. Another nip at his earlobe, a tug, another jolt down N’s spine, then Ravi’s lips were gone. Just a moment later Ravi was nuzzling behind N’s ear, breath warm, lips ghosting over his skin. N shifted, the hardness between his legs growing undeniable.

“I worry about a lot of things,” Ravi murmured, voice low and husky in a way that sent pleasant shivers down N’s spine. “About my sister, Hyuk, that girl in Dalnisia, you,” N swallowed, gripping Ravi’s hand tighter. “But when we’re like this, I feel like things will be okay.”

“I feel that way too,” N murmured, feeling the words to his core. He didn’t know what his goals were, but he was happy with Ravi, felt like staying by Ravi’s side. Ravi laughed, pressing his lips to N’s neck.

“We’re not so different, you and I,” Ravi hummed, pulling back to look into N’s eyes. He brought his hand to cup N’s cheek and traced N’s bottom lip with his thumb. N swallowed, holding Ravi’s gaze. “Running away from our duties to do what we think is important. I might not be able to go home either, but Jiwon’s more important than that. Maybe we were fated to meet.” N swallowed again, stomach fluttering in a way that he couldn’t tell was good or bad.

“Maybe we were,” N murmured. Ravi smiled, dipping down for another kiss that N gladly reciprocated. Deepening the kiss, Ravi trailed his hand down N’s neck, fingers tracing N’s Adam’s apple and tendons down to his collarbones, then further south until his hand brushed over the ache between his legs. N shifted, tugging at Ravi’s hair as he pressed into the touch. Ravi’s touch quickly turned more bold, more firm.

“You’re so easy,” Ravi chuckled, breaking the kiss. N flushed and let go of Ravi’s hand, whapping him on the arm.

“Don’t make fun of me,” N scolded, narrowing his eyes at Ravi. Ravi just grinned, catching N’s hand and guiding it between his legs. When his fingers brushed Ravi’s hardness, N flushed deeper.

“I’m easy too,” Ravi murmured. N licked his lips, brushing his fingers up Ravi’s bulge. “You can touch it directly if you want.” N nodded and Ravi pulled back just enough to unfasten his pants, then guided N’s hand back. Ravi wasn’t fully hard, but he twitched under N’s touch. N took him in hand, attempting to mimic the way Ravi had stroked him the previous night. Ravi made a pleased sound, his hand returning to stroke N through his pants. N tightened his grip, pressing into Ravi’s touch–he wanted more, craved it. Ravi’s lips found his again, the kiss brief but passionate.

“Can I use my mouth?” Ravi asked carefully when he broke the kiss.

“Use your mouth?” N asked, brows knitting in confusion. Ravi _had_ been using his mouth.

“On your cock,” Ravi clarified, applying pressure to the ache between N’s legs. N’s mind and hand stuttered–that hadn’t crossed his mind at _all_. He couldn’t even fully comprehend the purpose–

“Why?” N choked out. Ravi licked his lips, straightening.

“I want to make you feel good,” Ravi answered, and N could tell by his expression that he was being sincere. “We don’t have to if you don’t want–”

“Do you like using your mouth?” N asked hesitantly, cutting Ravi off. Ravi’s mouth snapped shut and he blinked at N.

“I like it,” Ravi said after a beat. “As much as I like it being done to me. I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t.”

“You really like it?” N asked, still baffled by the desire. Something clicked in Ravi’s eyes and he broke into a smile.

“Yeah,” he said as he took N’s free hand, guiding his fingers to his lips. N’s gaze dropped to where his index finger almost brushed Ravi’s bottom lip. “I like it a lot,” Ravi said before taking the tip of N’s finger between his lips and flicking his tongue. The action left N breathless, made the ache between his legs worse. Ravi’s eyes turned mischievous. He took the tip of N’s finger fully into his mouth sucking gently as ran his tongue along the pad. N let him, eyes transfixed, an intense desire washing over him as he thought of the hardness between his legs getting the same treatment.

“You can,” N said breathlessly. Ravi hummed in question and N felt himself flush. “You can use your mouth.” Ravi released N’s finger, a smile on his lips as he swooped in to catch N’s lips.

“If it’s too much, tell me and I’ll stop,” Ravi said when he broke the kiss. N nodded, and Ravi kissed him again, short, sweet and reassuring. When he broke away, Ravi’s lips found N’s jaw. N closed his eyes, tilting his head back to give Ravi access and realizing that he’d abandoned Ravi’s hardness long ago. N tried to take it back in hand, but Ravi shooed his hand away with a grunt, lips trailing down N’s neck. Ravi shifted back, continuing to trail kisses down over N’s shirt, down his chest, to his stomach. N balled his hands into fists, unsure of what to do with them. The kisses on his stomach sent waves of anticipation through him.

“Spread your legs a bit more,” Ravi instructed, both hands coming to N’s hips and scooting him forward a bit so his pelvis was more exposed. N bit his bottom lip, nodding as he shifted again, Ravi’s hands coming to his knees to guide him. There was a hunger in Ravi’s eyes as he stared down at his hardness that made N flush red hot.

After a moment Ravi dipped back down, kissing N’s stomach above his hardness, hands brushing down N’s inner thighs. A whining moan tumbled from his lips, the sensations too much. Then Ravi was pulling him out, stroking him, and N brought his hands to Ravi’s shoulders, clawing his hands into fists. Even though the sensations weren’t completely new, he couldn’t think straight. And then he felt something soft and wet stroke up his cock and all coherent thought stopped, a choked moan ripped from his throat.

Another wet stroke, and then another, and another, and then the tip of his hardness was engulfed in wet warmth, light suction, Ravi’s tongue swirling. It was too much for him, the tension in his abdomen so unbearable he felt like he’d snap–and then Ravi _moved_ , took more of him, mimicked the stroking action of his hand–N buried his hand into Ravi’s hair, grip hard, and Ravi moaned–he was going to snap–

“Fuck–” spilled from N’s lips, “Ravi–” The words were the only warning he managed to get out before everything snapped and he was pulsing, spilling, everything fading to white as all the tension dissipated. Ravi stopped moving, hands pinning N’s hips in place. It wasn’t until N had stilled, stopped pulsing, that Ravi lifted away. There was an unpleasant coldness between his legs once Ravi moved away, and N blinked up at Ravi, his mind still hazy. Ravi swallowed, hand coming up to wipe his mouth.

“Are you okay?” Ravi asked.

“Yeah,” N managed. “It felt–good.” Ravi laughed, ducking his head back down.

“I could tell by how fast you came,” Ravi hummed. N flushed, grabbing a fist full of grass and throwing it at Ravi.

“ _Ya_ , don’t make fun of me,” he scolded, causing Ravi to laugh again. He hit Ravi on the arm. “ _Ya!_ ” It wasn’t _fair_ to make such comments. It was his first time doing these things, but he couldn’t get the words out, felt that they would be too embarrassing to say given Ravi’s reactions.

“It’s okay,” Ravi reassured, laughter still in his voice. He leaned in, catching N’s lips. The kiss was salty and slow. N wrinkled his nose when they broke apart.

“You’re acting almost as bratty as Hyuk,” N pouted. Ravi laughed, turning his head and pressing it to N’s shoulder.

“Sorry,” Ravi apologized as soon as he’d regained himself.

“What about you?” N asked.

“What about me?” Ravi asked, straightening. N dropped his gaze–Ravi was still hard.

“Do you–” N asked, not sure how to word the question. Instead, he reached out, brushing his fingers across Ravi’s hardness, letting the action speak for him. Ravi swallowed, his length twitching.

“You don’t need to worry about me,” Ravi said, choked. N shook his head, taking Ravi in hand properly.

“I want to make you feel good too,” N insisted, starting to move his hand. Ravi grunted, eyes falling closed.

“A bit–tighter,” Ravi instructed, and N tightened his grip. “Like that,” Ravi encouraged. After a few strokes, he leaned in and kissed N, slow and passionate. N could feel him growing harder in his grip. Ravi’s hand joined N’s, guiding his hand. When the kiss broke, Ravi pressed his head into N’s shoulder, breath picking up.

“Fuck–Just like that–I’m cumming,” Ravi groaned, hand leaving N’s to stroke the tip of his length. It only took a few more strokes before Ravi shuttered, his length twitching in N’s hand as he spilled. N kept stroking until Ravi hissed and nudged his hand away. It was a few moments before Ravi moved, eyes sleepy.

“Thank you,” Ravi murmured, causing N’s brows to knit.

“What for?” N asked, thoroughly puzzled.

“For this, everything,” Ravi mumbled. N wasn’t sure what Ravi meant, but he didn’t dwell on it long–Ravi kissed him again, driving other thoughts away.

-.-.-.-.-.-

_“I have to go,” Ravi said. “I can’t just sit by and accept this.”_

-.-.-.-.-.-

No matter how many times N rolled over and tried to get comfortable, sleep wouldn’t come. His thoughts were just too full. Of Leo. Of what little he could remember. Of Ravi. Of his sins in just the past forty-eight hours. It certainly didn’t help that Ravi was practically snoring in his ear, the space between them small in the cramped barn. He pushed himself up, giving up on sleep and turning to look down at Ravi. Everything they’d done earlier was still fresh on his mind, and he almost didn’t believe it’d happened. But Ravi had grinned nonstop until they’d lied down to sleep. He’d drifted off easily, and was now on his back, head turned towards N, peaceful in a way that N envied.

In that moment, it felt like he’d watched Ravi sleep countless times before. Ravi’s sleeping face was familiar, soothing. Unable to resist the urge, he tentatively reached out and brushed Ravi’s hair from his face. There was a faint scar poking out from his hairline, just an inch from his temple.

_N dabbed at the nasty gash right at Ravi’s hairline. The boy had been incredibly lucky that it was such a superficial wound after falling so far, no thanks to N. They’d learned a lesson, but he shouldn’t have let himself get distracted. Now **both** Ravi and Hyuk were injured, and he hated to see Ravi cry._

N pulled his hand back as if he’d been burned, swallowing as everything clicked into place. He hadn’t been _dreaming_ about Ravi and Hyuk.

 _“The expression in your eyes when you watch him is dangerous,”_ Leo’s words reverberated in his head. One of the horses made a noise, causing N to jump in surprise. He looked back at the horses, then at Ravi still fast asleep. The boys at the river, that fell down the hill, that ran through the cornfield–his last station had been with Ravi and Hyuk, and this journey to save Jiwon was _the test_. N felt faint. He wrenched his gaze away and squeezed his eyes shut, unable to bring himself to keep looking.

He understood now, the gravity of his actions. His stomach churned and his hands shook with the weight of everything. He had abandoned everything for _this_ , for Ravi and Hyuk and Jiwon–

_“You love that boy, don’t you?” the demon observed._

For Ravi.

_“This test is rigged. Ravi’s going to fail no matter what he does,” N said firmly. “I can’t just sit by and watch this anymore.”_

He’d done this for Ravi.

 _“I’m not sure whether I should call you selfless or selfish. Maybe I should just call you stupid,”_ the demon’s words came back to him.

N opened his eyes and looked back at Ravi.

_“I’ll give you a human body so you can walk beside him,” the demon said. “And if he should find himself dying, **you** will take his place in the underworld. This the best we can offer while maintaining the balance.”_

He was doing this for Ravi.

_“Will you regret it?” the demon asked, voice deep, serious._

_“No,” N answered confidently. He smiled as he continued, “He’s a good person. Even if I can’t remember anything, I’ll come to love him again.”_

He was doing this for himself.

N’s stomach flipped. Everything had been going according to his plan and he hadn’t even _realized_ it. He stared down at his trembling hands, clenching them into fists, even that unable to steady them. He’d watched the demon take Jiwon away. He’d watched Ravi in turmoil over the kidnapping. He’d followed them despite direct orders to leave Ravi alone. Ravi was supposed to do this by himself, was supposed to _survive_ on his own. For what, N couldn’t remember, but he knew that this was just the first test, that there’d be more if Ravi survived, and that there were other people to step up if he failed.

_“This will be an age of legends and heroes.”_

N stood, swaying when he got to his feet. Hyuk rolled over behind him, drawing N’s attention. Hyuk was still asleep, expression blank in his slumber. N swallowed. He needed air. He stepped back and hurried to the barn door, lingering in the doorway for a moment to look at his companions, undisturbed and peaceful despite the N’s turmoil. He turned his back to the barn, hugging himself as he walked away from the barn, away from Ravi, and towards the fields.  

_“He isn’t the only one with the potential.”_

Ravi was an expendable pawn in a cruel game, something that had to be sanctioned by both heaven and the underworld. It made him sick. Ravi wasn’t something they could just groom and toss away–N lashed out, striking the nearest thing to him, the anger in his veins so sudden he wasn’t sure where it came from, where any of this came from. He swallowed, coming to his senses. He’d slammed both of his fists into a tree and splintered the bark. He pulled his hands back, staring at the dent in the tree in awe. He hadn’t realized he had that kind of strength. His attention dropped to his hands. There were scrapes on the outer edge of his left and on the knuckles of his right, both oozing blood and starting to throb.

N stepped back from the tree and looked skyward. A light breeze rustled the crops and tree leaves. The moon disappeared behind incoming clouds, causing everything to sink deeper into darkness.

They were almost to the valley.

Even before he remembered anything, he’d committed to going–to staying by Ravi’s side. He’d told Leo he was happy, had thrown his morals away without second thought. He swallowed.

He’d come to love Ravi again, and Ravi had come to care about _him_.

Everything had been going according to plan.

He couldn’t back out now, even if the memories had shaken him to his core.

He turned back to the barn, each step he took hardening his resolve.

He cleaned the blood from his hands and applied salve to the scrapes before returning to his sleeping mat. Ravi had rolled onto his side and was snoring steadily. N layed down so he was facing Ravi. His expression was just as peaceful as when N had left earlier. N reached out and brushed his fingers across Ravi’s cheek. His memories wouldn’t change anything, and the peace that resolve brought made sleep easy.

-.-.-.-.-.-

_Ravi, lanky and gawky, knocked on the door frame to the barn, eyes full of hesitation. Hyuk, small and scrawny, gave Ravi a sidelong glance but otherwise ignored him. Instead, Hyuk focused on petting his father’s horse’s nose. N came to rest on the rafters, hands balling into his robes. Ravi cleared his throat._

_“Can we talk?” he asked, voice uneven._

_“Why do you want to talk to me when you have the other boys your age?” Hyuk huffed, stepping away from the horse and turning his back to Ravi as he walked deeper into the barn._

_“Look, I’m sorry for ignoring you. Things have been… complicated lately,” Ravi said, stepping into the barn._

_“You mean complicated teenager stuff I wouldn’t understand?” Hyuk snapped, looking back at Ravi over his shoulder. “I’m gonna be a teen soon too, you know.”_

_“It was really mean of me to say that,” Ravi sighed. “I’m sorry. I’ve just been really confused lately. Even I don’t really understand what’s going on, and I took it out on you.”_

_“How can you not know what’s going on?” Hyuk frowned, brows knit. “It’s obvious what’s been going on. You think I’m too young to hang out with anymore.”_

_“No, no, no, not at all,” Ravi rushed out, voice breaking. He crossed to Hyuk, putting a hesitant hand on his shoulder. “It’s got nothing to do with you being younger. It’s me. Being confused about Kai.” His ears flushed pink._

_“Confused about Kai?” Hyuk asked, thoroughly perplexed looking._

_“I–I-I think I l-l-like him,” Ravi stuttered, the volume of his voice dropping to a whisper. “Like you like Sooyoung.” N’s knuckles were losing color with how tightly he gripped his robes. He hated seeing Ravi so conflicted._

_“So you pushed me away?” Hyuk snapped._

_“I’m sorry. I was being a love struck idiot,” Ravi apologized._

_“That’s an understatement,” Hyuk huffed._

-.-.-.-.-.-

_N peeked through the inn door, chest tight with the fear that what he’d see would be enough to strip him of his wings. The noise had died down a while ago, replaced by light murmurs, then soft snores, but that didn’t change the nature of what **had** been going on in the room before. He knew it was an irrational fear because just **watching** wasn’t a problem when one’s job was to **watch**. But lately there was a feeling in the pit of his stomach when Ravi was in these situations that reeked of something he wasn’t supposed to be feeling, and it scared him._

-.-.-.-.-.-

_Ravi sat slumped in the corner of the barn, legs pulled close to his chest, forehead rested on his hands. He’d been sitting like that for over an hour, and N had begun to worry. He’d been gone for ten minutes to pull Hyuk into searching for Ravi by nudging his subconscious, yet Ravi hadn’t seemed to move at all in the time he was gone. N kneeled next to Ravi, hands hovering hesitantly over Ravi’s back. He wanted to hold him, to wipe away the hurt, to kiss away the pain in his heart like he’d kissed away countless fevers. But even if he touched Ravi, he wouldn’t be able to feel it. N couldn’t ease this kind of pain. It tore him up inside._

_The barn door creaked open and the horses stirred at the new intrusion. Hyuk slipped in, closing the door after the barn cat slinked past him. He sighed when he saw Ravi, steps quick to cross the barn. When he was a few feet from Ravi, he crouched down._

_“I thought you were coming over to study today,” Hyuk said neutrally._

_“Didn’t feel like it,” Ravi murmured, unmoving._

_“You always feel like it.”_

_“I got a letter from Yonghwa.” N remembered that name, remembered the man from the bars in Alde, from the inns. Ravi always lit up in his presence, melted under his touch. Seeing them together always made N’s stomach knot nastily._

_“Oh,” Hyuk said, frown settling on his lips. “Do you… do you want to talk about it?”_

_“Not really,” Ravi mumbled with a sniffle. Hyuk swallowed and reached out to rub Ravi’s back. N desperately wished he could do the same._

_“Sometimes I really envy you,” Ravi said after a few moments, tone bitter. “You could point to whatever girl you like and your uncle could arrange it.”_

_“Yeah, but I’m not that mean,” Hyuk said with a frown. “And you aren’t either.” Ravi let out a shuddery sigh._

_“Yonghwa’s parents arranged his marriage,” Ravi finally admitted, voice fragile like it was going to break. “He says he still wants to be with me after, but I don’t–I–” He broke off and Hyuk wedged in close to his side, slinging his arm around Ravi’s shoulder. “I don’t want to be in a relationship like that. I don’t want to lie.”_

_“I’m sorry,” Hyuk sympathized, pulling Ravi in tight to his side. N fisted his hands. He wanted to drop a boulder on Yonghwa for making Ravi feel this way. The anger knotted and coiled in his stomach, an emotion he shouldn’t feed, shouldn’t even feel in this situation. But he wanted Ravi to be happy, wanted to make Ravi happy._

-.-.-.-.-.-

_“You’re really going to go?” Hyuk asked, brows high on his forehead. “It’s been almost a year.”_

_“I have to go,” Ravi answered, holding Hyuk’s gaze. “I can’t just sit by and accept this. I need to rescue her. You know I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. I’m leaving tonight.” Hyuk stared at Ravi, jaw slack. “I thought I should let you know before disappearing.” Hyuk sighed, lifting a hand to run through his hair. His tongue darted across his lips before he met Ravi’s eyes again._

_“Now isn’t a good time,” Hyuk said. “If you wait, I can get my uncle to let us go to Alde for my birthday. We can use the money to buy supplies, and it’ll be easier to slip away without anyone noticing.”_

_“You want to go with me?” Ravi asked, shocked._

_“You can’t seriously think I’d let you go **alone** ,” Hyuk said._

_“Are you crazy? What if your dad and uncle send soldiers after us?” Ravi objected._

_“By the time they realize, we’ll be long gone,” Hyuk brushed off, starting to smile. “Besides, you’d never make it alone. You’d run out of money by Alde.”_


	9. Chapter 9

Come morning, everything felt surreal. N was the first to stir, but he didn’t move until Hyuk got up, contenting himself with watching Ravi sleep. He sat quietly, watching Hyuk bustle around packing his things. The farmer and his wife came just after the sun was visible in the sky with breakfast–eggs and ham. The smell woke Jungguk, but Ravi didn’t get up until Hyuk rolled Ravi off his sleeping mat and threatened to roll him into the horse shit.

When Ravi managed to wake up enough to actually be aware of his surroundings, he smiled sleepily at N and stuck to his side, linking their arms and leaning his head on N’s shoulder as they ate. N straightened Ravi’s bangs casually between bites, catching Jungguk staring when he went to pick his fork up. N flushed, averting his gaze and shoving a forkfull of eggs into his mouth. By the time they’d mounted their horses, the villagers were already tending their fields.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Despite the fact that it was mid-morning when they entered the forest, the foliage was so dense that it appeared to be early evening. The entrance to the forest was eerily quiet, the sound of their horses walking through the leaves and small plants that covered the ground blaring so much that none of them dared to speak. However, as they traveled deeper, the forest came more alive–song birds, insects, beast calls.

Come evening, they lit torches and kept moving until a mist rolled in and night fell so dark that the horses refused to move forward. Though N couldn’t sense anything dangerous, the horses were restless. They set up camp, lighting a fire after clearing away any hazards, Ravi and Hyuk exchanging hushed words and coded looks as they worked. They settled around the campfire for dinner, horses tethered to nearby trees. Howls from a distant wolf-beast pack filled the air as they ate, causing the horses to spook and stomp their feet. Jongguk joked about going to hunt the pack down, but they were far enough away to not cause concern.

They let the fire dwindle. In the flickering firelight, Ravi’s hand found N’s. Their fingers tangled together, and N gave Ravi a reassuring squeeze as he watched Ravi drift off. He didn’t let himself relax until everyone’s breath had evened out and Ravi started snoring. He doused the fire and laid down next to Ravi to sleep.

-.-.-.-.-.-

_N leaned on the stall door and stared at Charcoal, one of Hyuk’s father’s horses, in the eye. The horse jerked her head a bit and stamped one of her hooves._

_“What?” the horse snorted, and N narrowed his eyes at her._

_“Learn to play nice with Ravi,” N scolded._

_“I’ll learn to play nice when he learns to stop second guessing himself,” Charcoal huffed back._

_“You didn’t have to throw him off and run away just because he couldn’t figure out how to ask you to turn,” N said flatly. “It wasn’t funny.”_

_“It was very funny,” the barn cat said as she trotted down the barn to Charcoal’s stall, tail high in the air._

_“About as funny as the time you got stuck in an oak tree after one of the dogs chased you there,” N said dryly, looking at the cat unimpressed. She meowed unappreciatively at N, but let him scratch between her ears when he squatted down to pet her. The small amount of attention seemed to be enough for her and she slipped away from N’s touch. She jumped onto the stall door, then into the stall. N straightened and brushed his robes off before turning his attention back to Charcoal._

_“I’m serious. Ravi knocked his head when he fell. He was lucky that he didn’t get hurt worse. Work with him some,” N continued scolding._

_“What’s in it for me?” Charcoal asked, stepping closer to the stall door._

_“He’ll get more confident each time he rides you and doesn’t fall off,” N explained._

_“I think you should consider it,” the barn cat said, jumping up onto Charcoal’s back. “He’s the one that feeds me. I’ll starve if he dies.”_

-.-.-.-.-.-

_Ravi led Jiwon across their yard to the puppy that was chained in front of their house. Little Jiwon wasn’t quite stable on the uneven ground of the yard, but Ravi held her hand to steady her. N watched them from his perch on their roof, lips stretching into a smile that he surely would have teased Leo for a few years ago. The toddlers were just too cute. The puppy’s ears perked when it noticed the pair walking towards it, and it got to it’s feet, barking and wagging its tail. Startled by the noise, Jiwon stumbled and fell back. Ravi immediately kneeled beside her, trying to calm her down before she cried. Really, they were just too cute._

-.-.-.-.-.-

N woke to the feeling of _demon_ , multiple demons. He sat up, the darkness around their camp was overwhelming, save for the floating lights heading deeper into the woods–Waol Faeries, at least two dozen. N moved to wake Hyuk, but paused, a thought crossing his mind. The balance. He had to maintain the balance. He looked back out into the darkness at the Waol. They were carrying people away, but N felt an overwhelming sense that _this_ was not the place to engage the Waol, that to do so at this point would upset the balance.

N retracted his hand, sitting back and watching the lights slowly disappear. The demons weren’t interested in them _at all_. They had their quota of souls, so perhaps they saw no threat or potential in sleeping humans.

When the lights faded, N stared at the dark firepit. The balance. The idea was still abstract in his mind, but he knew that it was an important one. This game that heaven and the underworld were playing with human lives lied safely in the bounds of it all, but N’s actions walked dangerously on the edge. If Ravi died, N would take his place–that was supposed to let Ravi live while maintaining the balance, but N got the sense that the exchange was uneven. An angel for a human? Still, his goal was to keep Ravi alive, the same as it had been for more than twenty years. He would stand by that, whatever would come–the deal was made. Ravi’s death meant his own–

There was a rustle behind him, startling N from his thoughts. Jungguk rolled over and pushed up, stumbling a few feet from his mat. At the sound of water flowing, N turned his back to Jungguk and rubbed his hands down his face. Dwelling on those kinds of thoughts now would do him no good if it meant being sleep deprived in the morning. With a sigh, he crawled back to his mat, curling up on his side so he was facing Ravi. Jungguk settled back on his mat a few moments later, not having noticed that N had been awake at all.

-.-.-.-.-.-

In the morning Hyuk made a porridge out of the previous night’s leftovers. The morning light filtered dimly through the trees and the mist was still thick, but N could better make out their surroundings. They were well into the hills at the foot of the mountains and it wouldn’t be long before the terrain turned rocky. Ravi draped himself over N’s back as they waited for breakfast to finish cooking, chin resting on N’s shoulder. The quiet of the morning was broken by the crackle of the fire.

“You okay?” Ravi mumbled sleepily. N hummed, hand coming to Ravi’s. He leaned back into Ravi’s warmth. The embrace felt like everything he’d ever wanted. “You seem tired,” Ravi observed, and N wondered just how much that lost sleep showed on his face.

“No more tired than you,” N brushed off. Ravi squeezed him, digging his chin into N’s shoulder.

“That’s not what I meant,” Ravi scolded lowly. “There’s something on your mind.”

“There’s something on your mind too, isn’t there?” N asked, hand seeking out Ravi’s knee. Ravi leaned his head against N’s.

“I asked first.”

“Jungguk, can you get me more water from my horse?” Hyuk asked, distracting N from finding another excuse.

“Uh–y-yeah,” Jungguk agreed, scrambling up. Hyuk turned to N and Ravi and gave Ravi a look that N wasn’t quite sure how to interpret. Ravi’s grip loosened and he shifted so he was seated properly beside N. Jungguk returned and held out Hyuk’s second canteen, glancing at N and Ravi cautiously. The meaning behind Hyuk’s earlier glance suddenly clicked, and N ducked his head, cheeks heating up. Ravi placed his hand atop N’s reassuringly.

“I dreamed about Jiwon last night,” Ravi admitted quietly, drawing N’s attention. “We were at a Summer Solstice festival, playing games and having fun. Then she walked off into the darkness and didn’t come back. I tried to find her, but I got lost in the woods.” N turned his hand and laced their fingers together, squeezing tightly. “I’m worried.” N swallowed, looking at the ground in front of his feet.

“Last night, Waol Faeries passed the camp, more than a dozen,” N said, loud enough for the others to hear. Ravi stiffened beside him.

“Waol Faeries?” Jungguk asked. “Which direction were they headed?”

“Deeper into the woods,” N said, lifting to point in front of him. Jungguk whipped around, looking in the direction N pointed.

“Why didn’t you wake us?” Ravi asked, annoyance tinting his voice.

“There were too many and they didn’t seem to care about us,” N answered.

“We’re going the right direction,” Jungguk said, turning back to face Ravi with a smile on his face. “The first time I went to the top of the mountains, I followed the Waol.”

“Are you saying you don’t fully know where you’re going?” Hyuk asked, standing up. Jungguk put his hands up in a placating gesture.

“I’m just saying we didn’t get off track in the dark,” Jungguk eased. “We should reach a river by tonight.” Hyuk rolled his eyes and sat back down.

“How long to the top?” Ravi asked.

“Tomorrow,” Jungguk replied.

“We should move soon then,” Hyuk said, starting to dish out the porridge.

-.-.-.-.-.-

N fastened the last of his things to his horse and walked around to where they’d hitched the horse’s reigns. He paused when he spotted Ravi and Hyuk talking quietly a few feet away as Ravi prepped his horse. Hyuk gave Ravi one of his trademark mischievous smiles and knocked into his shoulders. Ravi’s ears turned pink and he elbowed Hyuk in the stomach before leaning in to speak close to Hyuk’s ear. N turned away, quickly untying the horse. He felt like he was intruding. There was a time he would have been able to eavesdrop without guilt, but the conversation didn’t seem like one he was meant to hear. It certainly didn’t help that they could _see_ him now. The horse nudged his shoulder with it’s nose, distracting him. N turned to it, smiling, and pet it on the nose.

“What?” he asked it. The horse made a little noise, nudging at the hand on its nose, causing N’s smile to widen. “Do you want a treat?” The horse made a noise of approval, and N’s smile widened into a proper grin. He reached into the purse of treats Jungguk had given them and held out one for the horse. “Just this one, okay? I’ll give you more later.” The horse took the treat, contenting itself with chewing. He used to be able to understand all living creatures, and now that he was aware of that ability, he mourned its loss. This body was so limited, still, he was trying his best.

-.-.-.-.-.-

The terrain became steeper and rockier as they traveled deeper into the woods, and their path more winding to accommodate the horses. Jungguk kept point, pausing occasionally to get his bearings. Ravi rode beside Jungguk, shoulders stiff after learning of the Waol. The two maintained conversation, Jungguk rather animated as he talked about the various creatures he’d encountered working with the Academy. As N watched the two, he wondered if Jungguk was one of the other pawns in Heaven and the underworld’s game, and if so, what _his_ first test was. Jungguk was quite a bit younger than Ravi, so it was possible that Jungguk hadn’t even started his yet.

“You’re boring a hole in their backs,” Hyuk said, coming up along side N. N snapped his attention to Hyuk, blinking in confusion. “What’s on your mind?”

“Just wondering how much Jungguk is exaggerating,” N brushed off, causing Hyuk to snort.

“Wait a minute,” Jungguk called back, bringing his horse to a halt.

“What is it?” Ravi asked, looking at Jungguk.

“That rock formation wasn’t there before,” Jungguk said, pointing deeper into the woods at a large crop of moss and vine covered rocks.

“Did you take a wrong turn?” Hyuk asked, tone dry.

“We just passed one of my landmarks,” Jungguk said with a frown. “We aren’t lost. N said it earlier–this is the direction the Waol Faeries were headed.” The vines shifted ever so slightly, and N’s stomach churned. He brought his horse alongside Jungguk’s, eyes fixed on the rocks.

“Do you sense something?” Hyuk asked, just as N saw the plants on the rocks _and_ the rocks move.

“It’s–It’s _breathing_ ,” N said, drawing everyone’s attention. “That isn’t a rock formation ahead.” The plants and rocks settled back into place.

“Are you sure?” Ravi asked. The plants moved again.

“Watch it carefully–it’s definitely moving,” N said. “It’s not a demon but…” Ravi nudged his horse forward a few feet, squinting at the rocks.

“I saw it,” Hyuk said, tone suddenly serious and on guard.

“Do you think it’s the hell wyrm?” Jungguk asked, tone turning excited.

“No–another beast.” N turned to Ravi. “One that wouldn’t be worth fighting if we disturbed it.” His horse shifted under him, sensing his unease. “I think we should find another path.”

“If we go another way, we could get lost,” Jungguk said.

“That’s assuming we haven’t already gotten lost,” Hyuk quipped. Jungguk narrowed his eyes at Hyuk.

“We can sit here until night fall and wait for the Waol, if you don’t believe me,” Jungguk snipped back.

“Do you really think it’s too dangerous?” Ravi asked, looking back at N.

“It looks like it’s sleeping. We can sneak around it–”

“We don’t know anything about it,” N cut off Jungguk, causing Jungguk to flinch. They were trying to get to the valley, not stir trouble. “If it wakes–”

“We’ll find another route,” Ravi cut in, tone decisive.

“Fine,” Jungguk agreed, frown settling on his lips. He directed his horse to the right, away from the rock-beast. “Just don’t blame me if we get lost.”

-.-.-.-.-.-

Despite the detour, they found the river after a few hours. It was small and shallow compared to the rivers that surrounded Dalnisia, but it was a valuable landmark. Jungguk led them along it’s shore, jaw set tightly, until he spotted one of his landmarks and cheerfully announced they were back on their route.

Misty darkness fell over the woods, and they continued with torches until they reached a large pool at the base of a rocky waterfall. The break in the trees surrounding the waterfall made it possible to see the moon and stars, the light very welcome. Jungguk managed to find the grown over remains of his last campsite, and everyone worked to clear it before starting their campfire.

“There’s fish in the river,” Jungguk announced as Hyuk set up to cook rice.

“Are you sure you can catch them in the dark?” Hyuk asked as he hung the water he’d just pulled from the river to boil.

“Is that a challenge?” Jungguk asked.

“I’ll help catch some,” Ravi volunteered.

“Just no repeats of last time you went river fishing,” Hyuk teased, and N couldn’t help but laugh.

“Last time?” Jungguk asked, perking.

“Don’t worry, I’ve learned my lesson,” Ravi said dryly, patting his sword.

“What happened last time?” Jungguk asked.

“ _Nothing_ ,” Ravi said, quickly pushing Jungguk towards the river before Hyuk could spill the embarrassing story again.

“Do you need any help?” N asked Hyuk.

“Yeah, can you get more water? I want to boil some to refill our canteens.”

“Of course,” N agreed.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Jungguk managed to catch a few small fish, and Hyuk roasted them over the fire as he boiled water for their canteens–the first of several potfulls. Once the fish was done, Hyuk passed them around. N chewed slowly, eyes skyward. Their camp was partially sheltered by the trees, but he could make out the twinkle of the stars between the leaves, the mist light for the moment. Closer to the waterfall the sky was completely visible, and he had half a mind to go sit at the water’s edge to mull.

“I’m going to take a bath,” Hyuk announced, standing up. N blinked, looking around. The others had already finished eating and had already cleaned their bowls, but N was barely half done.

“I will too,” Jungguk said, shoving his bowl into his bag at the foot of his mat. Hyuk turned to Ravi, giving him a pointed look. Ravi squirmed, eyes dancing around the camp for an excuse. When he spotted N’s half full bow, he straightened.

“N isn’t done eating. We shouldn’t leave him alone,” Ravi said. N squared his shoulders, pulling his bowl in closer to his stomach. Hyuk rolled his eyes and Jungguk shifted uneasily as he came to Hyuk’s side.

“Don’t avoid bathing,” Hyuk scolded.

“Oi,” Ravi growled in warning. Hyuk’s eyes landed on N for a moment before flickering to Ravi.

“Someone needs to keep an eye on the boiling water,” Jungguk suggested, a bit hesitant.

“We’ll take shifts, then,” Hyuk sighed, running a hand through his hair. “As long as you get clean. Just don’t get too distracted and burn the water.”

“I know how to boil water,” Ravi clipped. N shifted, eyes darting between Hyuk and Ravi.

“Uh-huh,” Hyuk said, giving Ravi a look before turning his back.

“That kid,” Ravi muttered, running a hand over his face.

“What was that all about?” N asked when Hyuk and Jungguk were out of earshot.

“He’s being moody?” Ravi sighed. “I think the stress of the journey is getting to him, even if he doesn’t want to show it.”

“The looks he gave you were–”

“Ahh, don’t mind those,” Ravi brushed off, waving his hand. “He just thinks I stink, but we all do.” N snorted and reached out to hit Ravi playfully on the arm.

“I’d rather not stink,” N said.

“We’ll smell like sweat and horse again before noon tomorrow. I just don’t see the point, never did. Hyuk used to bathe everyday, sometimes twice, so maybe that’s it.”

“You seem close,” N observed, a small smile on his lips.

“He’s the same age as Jiwon–I’ve been with him since before he could walk,” Ravi said, a fond smile on his lips. “I was supposed to be his playmate, but he’s become like a brother. We have our arguments, but he’s always been supportive of me.”

“He knows, doesn’t he?” N asked carefully, remembering Ravi’s apology to Hyuk in the stable all those years ago. “About us.” Ravi sighed, ducking his head.

“He says we’re too obvious,” Ravi mumbled. N frowned, brows knitting as he stared at Ravi.

“Is,” N paused to find the proper words. “Is what we’ve done weird?” Ravi peeked up at N, cheeks dusted pink.

“I don’t think so,” Ravi answered, “but there are those that do.” He ran his hand through his hair, sitting up straight. “Jiwon and Hyuk don’t, and that’s all I care about.”

“You’re surrounded by warm people,” N said with a small smile as he turned his gaze towards the fire, watching as a stick was consumed. It was a comforting thought, that Ravi would be surrounded by that warmth no matter what happened in the valley.

“Yeah…” Ravi answered, silence settling between them as the fire crackled. “Do you,” Ravi paused briefly, words catching in his throat. N looked at him from the corner of his eye. “Do you remember your friends and family?”

“You mean my tribe?” N asked. Ravi hummed. N shoved a spoonful of rice into his mouth to buy time to figure out how to answer the question. He knew nothing of the Semol, and what little he could remember of Leo didn’t hold much comfort. “I don’t remember much,” N said after he swallowed. “But I don’t know if I want to, since I can’t go back.” Ravi stayed quiet, fidgeting as he tried to find the right thing to say. N smiled in an attempt to ease the atmosphere, and reached out to touch the back of his neck. “I’m happy here with you.” Ravi blinked at N, the words seeming to take a moment to settle in before his blush returned. He squirmed a bit before his hand came up to remove N’s hand from his neck.

“Finish eating,” Ravi said, touch lingering, strengthening on his forearm. “So we can go bathe.” N genuinely smiled.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Ravi stripped seemingly without much thought, distractedly laying his clothes out on a rock, his sword gripped tight in his hand. N stripped more hesitantly, quickly wading into the pool at the bottom of the waterfall once he was naked. The water barely reached his hips, just cool enough to be mildly uncomfortable. N turned his eyes skyward to soak up the light coming from the moon. It was about to dip below the trees, and without it, the night would be darker. N found himself mourning the moonlight already, it’s glow almost warm compared to the general atmosphere of the woods.

“You’re always looking at the stars,” Ravi said as he came to N’s side. N turned to look at Ravi, suddenly self conscious. It took everything in him to not try to cover his body. It wasn’t the first time they’d seen each other without clothes, but the context had been completely different.

“It’s… comforting,” N offered lamely in explanation. “And we don’t know when we’ll get to look at them again.” Ravi looked up at the sky.

“It _is_ beautiful,” Ravi agreed. “But I prefer earthly beauty,” he continued after a beat, looking at N and smiling as he tried to stop himself from cringing. N flushed, realizing the comment was meant for him.

“Ya!” N scolded, giving Ravi a shove on the shoulder. “That doesn’t sound completely like a compliment.” Earthly beauty–assuming he actually _was_ considered beautiful, he hadn’t suited the word ‘earthly’ for long, nor did he know how much longer he would. Ravi broke into laughter, one hand coming to N’s arm in a placating gesture.

“You’re absorbing some of Hyuk’s sass,” Ravi said as N dropped his arm back to his side.

“I’ve always been this way,” N defended. Ravi smiled and held out a small cloth.

“You forgot this,” Ravi said. N dropped his gaze to Ravi’s hand. There was a tattoo on Ravi’s wrist that hadn’t been there in Ajol–the new one, N realized.

“This is the first time I’ve seen your new tattoo,” N said, taking the cloth.

“Is it?” Ravi asked, looking at his wrist before holding it out for N to get a proper look.

“We haven’t had a proper bath together since Ajol,” N mumbled, tentatively reaching out and tracing the design.

“It’s for swiftness,” Ravi explained. “Because I wasn’t fast enough on the boat.” N frowned, reaching up to chop Ravi’s neck.

“That wasn’t your fault,” N scholded. “ _I_ was the one that got careless.”

“I still could have reacted faster,” Ravi frowned, bringing his hand up to cup N’s cheek. “It felt like I couldn’t get that demon off you fast enough.” N sighed, dropping his gaze to Ravi’s chest. He let his hand fall to Ravi’s collar bone and brushed his fingers along the ink, admiring the fancy script of the tattoo.

“What does this one say?” N asked, changing the subject.

“A protection spell,” Ravi said. N hummed, the idea amusing. Such a tattoo was useless when he had N to protect him, but perhaps it would be more useful in the future.

“It’s quite… sensual,” N said, tracing the ink back towards the center of Ravi’s chest.

“Do you like it?” Ravi asked.

“I do,” N hummed, dragging his finger down Ravi’s sternum. Ravi shifted ever so slightly closer and N flicked his gaze up to meet Ravi’s. “What’s the one above your elbow for?”

“Vitality,” Ravi answered, eyes glinting and a smirk spreading across his lips. Heat coiled low in N’s stomach at the words.

“Vitality?” N parroted as he dropped his gaze between them in embarrassment, only to regret it when he noticed that the water didn’t hit Ravi in same spot because of his longer legs. “W-why something like that?” He settled his gaze back on Ravi’s collar bone in compromise.

“I thought it’d make it easier to wake up in the morning,” Ravi answered. N couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of him, and he leaned forward to find purchase on Ravi.

“I’d hate to see what you were like to get up before the tattoo,” N said when he collected himself.

“Pretty much the same, though it helped in other areas,” Ravi said as he straightened.

“Oh?” N asked.

“I’d be glad to show you,” Ravi hummed, tone thick with desire.

There was a rustle along the shore, drawing Ravi’s attention away from N. He stiffened, expression turning serious as a low growl filled the air. N whipped around, breath catching when he saw what was at the tree line–a small dragon, long and serpentine, low to the ground, long whiskers radiating from its snout, it’s scales glinting various shades of brown. It was staring at them intently, like they’d intruded on its territory. Ravi’s hands came to N’s shoulders, protectively. The beast stopped growling, seeming to have caught whiff of something in the air, whiskers twitching. It turned its attention towards camp, and N shrugged out of Ravi’s grip, starting to move towards shore.

The dragon made a clicking noise before running into the woods, following the path they’d been using to get to and from camp, movements so fast they were a blur. Ravi got to shore first and grabbed his underpants and sword, N just a few steps behind him. Ravi barely pulled his underpants on before he was running after the beast, sword drawn. N followed after he pulled his own underpants on, trying his damnedest to keep up with Ravi’s longer legs.

The sound of fighting could be heard as they neared camp, and Ravi pushed forward. There was a loud cry from the dragon, then silence. N crashed into Ravi’s back–the suddenness in which he’d stopped having not given N enough time to slow down. They stumbled forward several steps before Ravi regained his balance.

“You killed it,” Ravi panted in disbelief, as he straightened. N pushed away from Ravi’s back and looked around, completely out of breath. Jungguk stood next to the beheaded dragon with a bloody sword, blinking at them. Hyuk was on the other side of the dragon, sword stabbed into the dragon’s back.

“It’s just a river dragon,” Jungguk said, brows knitting together, “Barely even an adult, not even full grown.”

“Just a–” Ravi panted, still shocked.

“Haven’t you seen one before?” Jungguk asked, looking around.

“This is my first time,” Hyuk said, pulling his sword from the dragon’s back.

“Really? They’re pretty common in the rivers surrounding Dalnisia,” Jungguk said. “Every couple years we have to hunt one out of the tributaries, but they’re easy to deal with if you know where to strike.” Ravi ran a hand through his hair exasperatedly. “The scales and teeth sell for a good price, and the meat tastes good.”

“You _eat_ them?” N asked, looking at the beast in mild shock.

“They’re a delicacy,” Jungguk said, grinning.

“I guess we’re having dragon for breakfast,” Hyuk said, poking at the severed head with his sword. Ravi turned on his heel and grabbed N’s wrist, dragging him back towards the river.

“We’re finishing our bath,” Ravi announced. N let him drag him back to the river easily.


	10. Chapter 10

They butchered the river dragon and cooked what meat they thought they could eat before it spoiled. In the morning, Jungguk packed as many scales and teeth into his packs as he could, and they set out. They brought the horses around a steep incline, eventually working their way back to the river, following it to it’s source. The woods began to thin out, light spilling through the canopy. By dusk, they approached a cliff, the woods stopping several meters away from the ledge. Jungguk brought his horse to a stop just outside the tree line, and turned back to the others.

“This is as far as the horses and I can go,” Jungguk said, with a small, sad smile.

“A cliff?” Ravi asked, frown setting on his lips.

“Did you forget to mention the path ended in a cliff?” Hyuk asked, narrowing his eyes Jungguk.

“I didn’t forget to mention it, it just wasn’t important,” Jungguk shrugged. N dismounted, cautiously walking past the others towards the edge of the cliff. “It’s not like you have to go _over_ the cliff to get down. I mean, you could, but if you follow the cliff, you’ll eventually find a path down.” N stilled a few feet from the edge, breath catching as he looked over the valley–if it could truly be called that. The mountains completely surrounded the valley and dropped off steeply several times, creating a natural protective barrier. The valley itself looked to be a day or two’s travel across in any direction, but was covered in a light mist. There was a large building overlooking the northern edge of the valley, and what looked like stairs carved into the rock face of the mountain. The sun was just starting to disappear over the other mountains.

“Did you find a path before?” Ravi asked, exasperated.

“You can see them from the cliff’s edge,” Jungguk defended, “I just never tested them out. It’s _possible_ to get down there from here.” N looked along the cliff. Jungguk wasn’t lying, but the paths looked less than pleasant–incredibly steep and rocky.

“If we die going down, I’m blaming you,” Hyuk said dryly as he dismounted, drawing N’s attention away from the valley, frown set on his lips. Such a joke was inappropriate when death was a real possibility. Ravi came to N’s side, the back of his hand brushing N’s.

“You can see the Holy Temple of Effrashia from here,” Ravi observed, staring to the north. “We should have taken the long way–they have stairs.”

“They would have stopped you,” Jungguk said, “For the same reason I don’t go down–It’s forbidden.”

“So why haven’t you stopped us?” N asked, turning to look back at Jungguk. He’d dismounted and was standing by his horse.

“Because you’re the type of people that wouldn’t go there unless you had serious business there,” Jungguk answered. N swallowed and looked back over the valley.

“You’re too trusting,” N murmured, and Ravi hooked his index finger with N’s.

“The temple stairs are probably the easiest way out of the valley, even if they won’t be happy to see you,” Jungguk offered.

“It’ll be better for Jiwon if we take that route,” Ravi murmured. N properly laced their fingers together and gave him a reassuring squeeze.

“Then we’ll take that path down,” Hyuk said, pointing a ways in the distance to the steep sloped path N had seen earlier. “And then we’ll leave by the temple stairs.”

“Then we set out at first light. The descent will be hard,” Ravi said, stepping away from the edge of the cliff.

-.-.-.-.-.-

“It’s hard to believe that we’ve made it,” Ravi said, poking the campfire with a tig. They’d finished eating not long before, but no one was enthusiastic about laying down to sleep. The sun had barely set, and the stars were just starting to come out.

“It felt impossibly far away when we started,” Hyuk hummed in agreement. “Yet you were determined to do it anyway.”

“Home feels like worlds away,” Ravi sighed.

“How long have you been traveling?” Jungguk asked, staring at Ravi curiously.

“More than a month now,” Hyuk answered.

“Wow!” Jungguk sat straighter. “Where did you come from?”

“A village beyond Alde,” Hyuk said.

“Alde…” Jungguk hummed, sitting back and turning his gaze skyward. “I think I’ve seen that on maps. It’s on the far side of the country isn’t it?”

“Yes,” Hyuk hummed. “The farm land out there is really fertile, green fields for as far as the eye could see.”

“And N came from there too? I didn’t know the Semol lived that far east,” Jungguk asked. N perked at the question, turning his full attention to Jungguk.

“Jin and Namjoon didn’t tell you?” Hyuk asked in mild surprise.

“They don’t tell me a lot of things,” Jungguk said, brows knitting and a slight pout setting on his lips.

“They rescued me in Belkin,” N answered, tilting his head. “I ran away from my clan.” Jungguk and Hyuk stared at him in shock, causing N to shift uncomfortably. Ravi’s fingers brushed his, the reassurance comforting.

“Ran–” Jungguk spluttered before seeming to think better of asking and snapping his mouth shut.

“Why are you suddenly interested in where we’re from?” N asked, sitting forward and returning his gaze to Jungguk. “You had days with us to ask these questions.” Jungguk flushed, diverting his eyes as he lifted a hand to rub the back of this head.

“I guess I just realized how little I knew you guys,” Jungguk sighed. “And we’ll probably never see each other again.” Hyuk reached over and clapped Jungguk on the shoulder.

“This might not be the last time,” Hyuk assured, though N felt the words were empty. There was a weight in Hyuk’s eyes that hadn’t been there earlier in the day. “We probably can’t go home, so…” Jungguk looked up at Hyuk with wide eyes.

“We’d help you. The Academy, I mean. If you need to settle in a new place,” Jungguk said. A tight smile stretched across Hyuk’s lips.

-.-.-.-.-.-

_Screams filled the air, causing N’s chest to tighten. Jiwon must have woken up from the demon’s illusion. The sound, the whole game, made his stomach churn. He wanted to weep, as Ravi would when he woke and realized what happened. The sleep spell that had been cast over the village hadn’t wavered. Ravi’s snores were steady, his expression serene. Jiwon’s screams gave way to sobs as she began pleading with the demon. N peeled his attention away from Ravi and to the bedroom door, biting his lips. He couldn’t take it, the screaming or the crying. His nature was to **protect,** and sitting by as she was forcibly dragged away **hurt**. Jiwon didn’t deserve any of this. He pushed himself to his feet and into the hall. The demon instantly noticed his presence and met his gaze with a smirk–a fallen angel, with wings dyed black and hair bleached sandy pink._

_“Don’t be cruel,” N hissed. The demon ran its hand across Jiwon’s eyes and she went limp._

-.-.-.-.-.-

“Jiwon!” Ravi screamed, startling N out of his sleep. He bolted up, heart pumping in panic as he stumbled to Ravi’s mat. In the moonlight, N could just make out Ravi’s form, sitting upright, hand clenching his shirt over his heart. “Jiwon,” Ravi repeated, softer, voice breaking. He was panting and his hand shook. When N noticed the tear tracks on Ravi’s cheeks, he pulled Ravi into his arms, squeezing tight. This was the type of pain he wished he could erase more than anything.

“Jiwon?” Jungguk mumbled, confused. N glared over his shoulder at him, but Hyuk was already tiredly shushing him. Ravi grabbed N’s shirt, pushing him away slightly as he straightened.

“Another nightmare?” N asked, tone hushed.

“She jumped off the cliff–she–” Ravi rambled, voice cracking. “She ran away from me and she–” He broke off, swallowing. His grip on N’s shirt tightened as Hyuk crouched down beside them.

“You okay?” Hyuk asked, eyes full of concern.

“I need–I just–need a moment,” Ravi said, pushing N further away and standing. Ravi stumbled away from camp, hands still shaking. N stood, the rejection of his comfort painful.

“Who is Jiwon?” Jungguk asked quietly.

“Jiwon is the reason we’ve come this far,” Hyuk mumbled so Ravi wouldn’t hear.

“So it was serious,” Jungguk said, looking after Ravi with a pensive frown.

“It’s dangerous,” N said, feet moving before he could even think about it. He followed Ravi past the horses towards the cliff. Ravi stilled several feet from the edge of the cliff and stared out over the valley.

“It’ll be okay,” N said as he came up behind Ravi. “We’ll rescue her. She’ll be fine–you both will be.”

“I–” Ravi said, breaking off with a choked sound, “need to be alone.”

“Bottling up the pain won’t help,” N pressed, stepping closer. He placed a hand on Ravi’s back in an attempt to comfort him. “Talking about it will help.”

“I don’t–want to talk about it,” Ravi said brokenly, eyes over the valley. “Not yet.” The torn expression on Ravi’s face broke N’s heart. N slid his arm around Ravi’s shoulder, attempting to fold him into his side–and if he’d still had them, his wing.

“Then you don’t need to talk about it,” N tried to sooth over.

“Please–just–go back to camp,” Ravi choked out, shrugging out of N’s grip. The rejection cut, and N stared up at him, shell shocked.

“Am I, am I making it worse?” N asked, words quiet in his shock. Ravi sighed, running a hand through his hair and fisting it.

“No–I, I just–need time to process this. Alone. Please,” Ravi said, squeezing his eyes shut, still choked.

“I guess being with me doesn’t make everything feel like it will alright,” N mumbled, the revelation harrowing. He should have expected it–words said by a human swept up in emotion were unreliable.

“You do,” Ravi denied sharply, turning to him with a sharp look in his eyes. The expression quickly turned pleading. “I just–just let me piece through this. Please.”

“I understand,” N said tightly, though Ravi’s assurance did nothing to ease the pain of rejection. He stepped back slowly, watching Ravi’s back intently, then spun on his heals. When he got back to camp, he sat on his mat, facing the direction Ravi was in. He knew he’d be unable to sleep with Ravi off in the dark alone.

“I wish he’d stop pushing us away,” Hyuk sighed when N settled down. He gave N a comforting pat on his shoulders before settling back down on his own mat. N knew Hyuk was worried too. The way he tossed made it clear that Hyuk also couldn’t rest until Ravi came back.

Ravi didn’t return until the moon had traveled a ways across the sky, shoulders slumped, feet dragging. He ignored N, settling back on his mat quietly. Hyuk turned, the tension in his shoulders easing. N swallowed and crawled over to Ravi’s mat.

“Are you okay now?” N whispered. Ravi blinked up at N.

“Yeah,” Ravi answered after a moment, fingers brushing N’s wrist. His tone left N unconvinced.

“I’m sorry if I pushed you,” N apologized.

“It’s okay,” Ravi sighed, his fingers wrapping around N’s wrist. “Go back to sleep.” N frowned. He leaned down and caught Ravi’s lips in a quick kiss.

“You’re not alone,” N breathed when he pulled back. Ravi made a sound in the back of his throat, his hands coming to N’s forearms. “No matter what’s ahead.”

“I know,” Ravi murmured after several moments. He wrapped his arm around N and pulled him down on top of him. He rolled so they were both on their sides. “I know.”

“We worry about you,” N murmured. “I worry about you.” Ravi leaned in and kissed him, the kiss longer than the last.

“I know,” Ravi murmured when the kiss broke. “I–know it’s hard on you too.”

“We’ll get through this,” N breathed, even though he wasn’t sure he’d be able to leave the valley with Ravi. He pressed into Ravi’s lips again, resolve steeling. The kiss broke when Ravi brought a hand to N’s cheek, thumb brushing gently across the apple. Ravi gave him a weak smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

“Go back to sleep.” N frowned, but Ravi closed his eyes, arms tight around N. It wasn’t until Ravi’s breathing evened and he was snoring that N was able to drift back to sleep.

Ravi’s sleep was fitful for the rest of the night.

-.-.-.-.-.-

_Twelve girls had been taken from across the region, a message writ in blood above their beds–A beautiful flower is a gift so the dead may remember the beauty of life, so shall this daughter be a flower unto the forsaken lord, that he remember the preciousness of life. A poetic lie that made N’s stomach churn. This was the first test for twelve of the pawns in Heaven and the Underworld’s game. Sisters, daughters, lovers. It had little to do with whether those pawns set out to rescue those girls, and more to do with what they did in response. One had committed suicide in hopes of meeting her in the Underworld–failure. Others had mourned the loss, cursing God for letting something so cruel happen. They stopped moving forward–failure. They became reckless and died fighting–failure._

_The tales fluttered to his ears through the grapevine. Leo loved to gossip, and every story seemed to be yet another attempt to get N to detach himself from Ravi’s fate. Whether the others passed or not was of no concern to N, and no tale of utter failure and the low success rate could convince him that Ravi’s fate was no longer his concern either. Ravi would embark on a journey to save his sister. N had known this the moment he’d learned what type of test Ravi would face. And he knew Ravi would do anything to save her without giving it a second thought._

-.-.-.-.-.-

In the morning they said their goodbyes to Jungguk and traveled along the cliff to the path Hyuk had spotted earlier. After several hours of descending sharp inclines that often required climbing down, the steepness of the mountain eased. They stopped to eat, silence thick between them, Ravi lost in thought. Despite his words the previous night and in the morning, his dream was still heavy on his mind. When they started moving again, they didn’t stop until mist krept at their ankles and darkness engulfed the valley.

            Ravi’s sleep was fitful, even with N spooned behind him.

-.-.-.-.-.-

_N sat in a tree overlooking Ravi and Hyuk’s camp. It had been a full day since he’d called the demon, but he’d yet to hear back. He was getting nervous. The longer it took the demon to return, the more likely it would be that someone would come to forcibly take him away, and he could only guess what kind of punishment awaited him. It was likely that he’d be stripped of his rank, but he doubted they would cast him off to become one of the fallen that walked the earth–he’d just flee right back to Ravi’s side with his newfound humanity, even if his bleached red hair created new obstacles. Such punishments were for angels with few attachments to mortals, that still revered Heaven, that would obediently take up a pious life as humans if it meant regaining grace upon their flesh prison’s death._

_It was more likely that he would be turned into a Waol, the lowliest of demons. Performers of menial labor. Highly expendable. The backbone in keeping the balance. He’d seen many receive that punishment–only when they were killed could they hope to receive grace and be reborn as an Angel. But there were those that chose to abandon heaven all together and climb the rank of demons. N supposed that’s what he would do if heaven ripped him from Ravi’s side, though he was honestly disgusted with **both** sides._

-.-.-.-.-.-

_“Pig–” Ravi fumed as he slammed the door. “You can’t marry a guy like that,” he said, whirling around._

_“Even if I had your approval, I wouldn’t,” Jiwon said, unimpressed._

_“Good,” Ravi grumbled, practically stomping back into the house proper._

_“I want to marry someone more along the lines of our Young Mater Sanghyuk,” Jiwon said, giving Ravi a sweet smile. Ravi stilled, eyes wide and jaw slack._

_“Over my dead body,” Ravi said when he regained himself, and Jiwon burst into laughter. Jiwon was old enough to have started attracting suitors, and the attention she was receiving ruffled Ravi’s feathers. N found Ravi’s reactions rather amusing._

_“You can’t protect me forever, Ravi. I have to grow up sometime.”_

-.-.-.-.-.-

_“Wait, Ravi, can you take this over to Hyunsik’s on your way?” Jiwon asked, rushing out of the kitchen with a tray of covered food. Ravi paused at the door, hand on the handle, and turned to look back at Jiwon with knit brows._

_“Hyunsik?” Ravi asked incredulously. “Why can’t you go yourself?”_

_“You know I have to stay here and help mom today. Please, just take it?” Ravi sighed and stepped away from the door, hands out stretched for the tray._

_“Why are you making him food?” Ravi asked, tone suspicious. Jiwon smacked his bicep as soon as he’d taken the tray._

_“Don’t get any strange ideas,” Jiwon scolded. “They’ve been having a hard time since his father’s accident. I just thought they could use the help.” N slid to the edge of the rafter beam he was on, gaze intent on Ravi. He remembered the accident–it’d been bad but nothing permanently damaging. Ravi sighed._

_“Right,” he said, tone heavy. “I’ll make sure they get it.”_

-.-.-.-.-.-

They set out at first light, and encountered a second drop off when the sun was high in the sky. The terrain at the bottom of the cliff looked like a maze of broken earth, shrouded in mist but gently declining deeper into the valley. After a bit of searching, they found a path to climb down safely. The air at the bottom of the cliff was thick with dark energy, sending an uneasy thrum through N’s body. He straightened, eyes vigilantly wide. He stepped forward cautiously, fingers brushing along the rock walls as he searched the mist for anything dangerous. No demons were nearby, though the acrid air felt similar to them–the feeling of the underworld itself, perhaps.

They followed the winding path until they came to a fork. After a moment of quick debate, they went to the left. The acridness of the air grew thicker the further they walked. The path forked again, and they went right. The walls opened until the path dropped off into six step-like declines. They jumped down the steps, each level waist height, and followed the path as it narrowed to another fork. Ravi veered right without a word, but something felt off about the path. N slowed, falling behind Hyuk. Hand brushing along the rock walls, N searched for the disturbance.

“Dead end,” Ravi announced as he rounded a curve, Hyuk following close behind. They both reappeared moments later, the expression on Ravi’s face drawn. N waited for them to pass him before following them back to the fork. There was a scuff of rock behind them, and N whirled around, hand on his knife. There was nothing on the path behind them. N straightened, gaze searching the rock walls and the ground carefully as he drew his knife.

“What’s wrong?” Hyuk called out. N forced himself to relax, but before he could answer, he was knocked back with a wave of energy. “Demon!” Hyuk shouted just as N was registering its presence himself. A shadow tendril shot out from around the curve of the path and latched onto N’s left wrist, the contact burning with a fierceness unlike his other encounters with demons. The pain ripped a cry from from N’s throat, the sensation worsening as the shadow tentacle began to pull him towards the dead end.

N slashed at the tendril with his knife. The blade cut through it easily, and N stumbled back, hissing as the part still wrapped around his wrist continued to _burn_. Ravi and Hyuk ran past him, but all he could think about was getting the damned tentacle _off_. He cut at the tentacle again, this time feeling the burn of his own blade. He shook off the tendril, the source of the pain gone, but the damage done. Hyuk yelped from around the bend of the path. N could deal with the wound later.

He bolted around the curve in the path. Hyuk was just picking himself up off the ground, a severed tentacle dissolving into air by his leg. Ravi had blocked a tendril with his sword and was struggling to fully deflect the attack–it had wrapped around his blade and held him in a deadlock. The demon itself was amorphous, tendrils of shadow rippling out of its body. Waol–no, something stronger. Ravi finally deflected the attack, Hyuk swooping into cut off new tentacles while Ravi’s back was partially turned towards the demon.

New tentacles burst out of the demon, and Ravi slashed them off, Hyuk, cutting behind him. Hyuk missed one, its attack low. N rushed forward, to cover Hyuk’s back. Ravi slashed through it easily, raising his blade to slash and stab into the main body of the creature. It cried out in pain, then stopped moving altogether. The shadow dissolved away, leaving behind what looked like a child’s body impaled through the heart on Ravi’s sword. N gasped, stepping back in shock, but the body too started to dissolve. Ravi shook his sword off before sheathing it.

“Do they–do they all look like that?” N asked quietly when Ravi and Hyuk turned to face him. “Under the shadow.” Ravi looked at him, lips thin, expression hard.

“Some do, but they aren’t human,” he said before stepping closer to N and taking his left hand. Something in Ravi’s words made N’s stomach twist. Perhaps it was that he wasn’t entirely human either, that one day it could be _him_ under the shadows. “You need salve,” Ravi said, turning N’s wrist to get a better look at the knife wound. N swallowed, gaze slowly searching Ravi for any sign of injury.

“You do too,” he said after a moment, reaching out and brushing his fingers under a cut on Ravi’s neck. Ravi winced.

“We all do,” Hyuk groaned, drawing N’s attention away from Ravi. Hyuk was already digging Jin’s salve out from his bag. He passed the salve and some bandages to Ravi, who set to work on N’s wrist. The salve stung but N bit down any complaints.

“The demon caught you by surprise,” Ravi said, tone tight as he spread the slave on N’s burns carefully. N flinched, not sure if Ravi’s words or the salve stung more.

“The demon wasn’t there, and then it was,” N mumbled.

“So it teleported somehow,” Hyuk sighed.

“Or we summoned it,” Ravi said, tone turning darker. Heavy silence fell over them.

“This whole place feels like dark energy,” N said, breaking the silence. “Things just feel–wrong.”

“Even I can feel it,” Hyuk said. “The hair on the back of my neck has been standing up since we got to this place.”

“Mine too,” Ravi said, passing the salve back to Hyuk as he readied the bandages. Hyuk swiped a fingerful of salve from its container and bent down to apply it to a cut on his leg. After Ravi finished, N took a bit of salve from Hyuk and applied it to Ravi’s neck.

-.-.-.-.-.-

They proceeded down the other path, following it down more waist-high steps to a three way fork. Mist spilled out of the center path, creeping along the ground and flowing into the other paths. N’s chest tightened as he approached the center path. Something was off in the air.

“Let’s go left,” N suggested, causing Ravi and Hyuk to turn to him.

“The mist is coming from the center. That means it’s probably leading down,” Hyuk said, motioning towards the center path.

“Something doesn’t feel right with the center. I think we should go left instead,” N said.

“Nothing about this place feels right,” Ravi said. “What if the left is another dead end? At least with the mist, we can guess it leads deeper.”

“I don’t trust the mist,” N insisted.

“And you trusted the dead end with the demon,” Ravi said flatly. The words cut. N straightened, steeling his expression to try to hide how much that distrust in his intuition hurt. “We’re taking the center,” Ravi insisted turning back to the center path. N clenched his fists but held his tongue. If he was right about the path, he’d make a point of it later.

He followed Ravi and Hyuk down the path. The mist grew thicker until N could barely see a few meters in front of himself. He placed a hand on the rock wall, steps slowing. The path eventually opened into a large circular space, with mist spilling out from large cracks in the ground. Hyuk approached one of the cracks first. He knelt down beside one as Ravi followed the wall.

“Looks like this is the source of the mist,” Hyuk sighed, standing back up.

“Could it be directly from the underworld?” N mused aloud, coming to Hyuk’s side. The mist was so potent he was starting to feel nauseous.

“Do you think it’s possible?” Hyuk asked, turning to N.

“Even if it was, I doubt we could get there from these vents,” N said shaking his head.

“The path continues,” Ravi said, his figure hazy in the mist. N crossed to him quickly, relieved when he saw the path continuing. N took the lead, Ravi close at his back and Hyuk’s steps echoing behind them. The mist began to clear, and in the distance the path clearly ended. N stilled, causing Ravi to bump into his shoulder.

“Dead end,” Ravi announced, tone disbelieving.

“Now do you believe me?” N said coldly, turning to look at Ravi.

“It seemed like the logical choice,” Ravi defended himself.

“You still doubted me,” N snapped, narrowing his eyes at Ravi.

“All of the paths could be dead ends,” Ravi buckled down, and N felt his patience grow shorter.

“We were wrong, but arguing about it won’t do anything,” Hyuk cut in. N snapped his mouth shut, swallowing the scolding he wanted to give Ravi. “Let’s just keep moving,” Hyuk continued, turning around and starting to head back the way they’d come. Ravi swallowed, hand coming to N’s forearm. N looked up at him, frown set on his lips.

“Sorry,” Ravi mumbled. “You were right about this path.” N sighed, trying to let his annoyance roll off. It didn’t work.

“I know that you’re worried about Jiwon, but don’t let that interfere with your trust in others,” N said after a beat. Ravi stiffened, expression hardening again.

“I _do_ trust you,” Ravi said defensively. N opened his mouth to respond but snapped it shut when the feel of _demon_ filled the air.

“Are you coming or not?” Hyuk called from in the mist, and N snapped his head in the direction of his voice.

“Demon,” he murmured.

“Demon?” Ravi asked, head also jerking in Hyuk’s direction.

“Demon,” N said more firmly, hand going to his dagger. He broke into a jog without thought, drawing his dagger as he ran.

“Another demon!” Ravi called as he passed him, sword drawn.

“Another?!” Hyuk called back and N picked up speed. When Hyuk came into view he was standing just outside of the open area, sword in hand. There was a dark figure shrouded in mist in the middle of the space, eyes glowing ominously. Hyuk fell in step with Ravi, charging the demon. N barreled forward, intending to do what he could.

There was a clash of metal on metal, and when N got close enough to see through the mist, he could make out a distinctly female figure cloaked in shadow. N stumbled, the demon reminding him of the one in Ajol. They hadn’t seen another demon so human in appearance since then, making its form jarring. It fought with a spear, blocking and deflecting both Ravi and Hyuk’s attacks with an inhuman fluidity. It blocked an attack from Ravi, back turned to N. Seeing his opportunity, N charged. Just as N was about to stab the demon, the blunt end of its spear pole collided with his stomach knocking the wind out of him. It’s full attention turned to N, and before N could realize what was happening, his back and head collided with the rock wall.

“ _Stay out of this_ ,” the demon hissed, as it blocked a strike from Hyuk. Ravi came after it from behind and it broke it’s weapon into two pieces, blocking Ravi with the other. It knocked Hyuk away, then swung around to strike Ravi. Ravi dodged, shuffling back several feet and shifting into a defensive stance. N struggled to catch his breath as he pushed away from the rock. The demon reconnected its weapon and charged at Ravi. Hyuk ran after it, but it stopped short, swinging around and striking Hyuk in head with the spear poll. The crack of the contact rang through the air and Hyuk fell to the ground, unmoving.

Ravi attacked, rage in his eyes. The demon blocked, deflecting Ravi’s attack after a moment of deadlock. Ravi swung again, but the demon managed to force him back. N gripped his knife tighter and charged. The demon ducked under Ravi’s blade and swung low, knocking Ravi’s feet out from under him before standing, swinging to face N. N dived at the demon’s legs, just barely dodging a hit aimed at his chest. Both crashed into the ground, the contact with the demon’s legs burning his face, but he didn’t _care_ if it meant disabling the demon. He tried to stab at the demon’s leg but it struggled too much for him to get a good strike in.

Ravi scrambled up just as the demon kicked N off. It attempted to knock him down again with its spear, but Ravi jumped. N grabbed the spear staff as it swung by him, the force jostling his injured wrist. He resisted the urge to cry out, instead putting all of his strength into disarming the demon. It resisted, jerking the spear back as it sat up. Ravi swung, cutting the demon’s head off. The demon head shrieked as it fell to the ground, but the body kept trying to pull the spear out of N’s grip. Ravi swung again, this time stabbing down through its chest. It stopped moving, both the head and the body starting to evaporate.

“Are you okay?” Ravi asked, panicked, as he pulled his sword from the demon’s body. N released the spear, and waved Ravi off.

“I’m fine. Check Hyuk,” he said, the pain of the burns starting to hit him. Ravi nodded, rushing out of view. N moved to push himself up, only to recoil in pain when his hands met the ground. Both of his palms were burned. N swallowed and forced himself up, scrambling to the bag Hyuk had abandoned at the mouth of the path out of the open area. He picked it up and swung it over his shoulder, quickly returning to Ravi and Hyuk. He dropped it by Ravi’s side and kneeled down to dig through the bag. When he found a potion, he held it out to Ravi. Taking the potion, Ravi poured a small amount on the palm of his hand and dipped his finger in it. He swiped the liquid just under Hyuk’s nose and sat back.

N dug out the salve, opening the jar and placing it between him and Ravi as Ravi checked Hyuk for other injuries. N scooped some of the salve from the jar and carefully applied it to the burns on his palms, biting down the hisses of pain. Hyuk groaned, starting to move.

“Stay still,” Ravi directed, bringing his hand to Hyuk’s chest.

“What happened?” Hyuk groaned.

“A demon knocked you out,” Ravi explained. Hyuk groaned. “How do you feel?”

“My head hurts, but I think I’m okay,” Hyuk said. Ravi nodded, removing his hand and letting Hyuk sit up.

“Drink this,” he said, handing Hyuk the potion bottle. Hyuk nodded with a wince before turning the bottle up and downing it. Ravi turned his attention back to N. “How are your burns–” he cut off when he noticed N’s palms upturned, slathered in salve. “Fuck–” N shook his head.

“I’ll heal. Hyuk was more important,” N dismissed.

“I hadn’t realized it’d gotten your hands too,” Ravi said, gingerly reaching out to cup under N’s hands.

“I grabbed it’s weapon. It seemed to be a part of it,” N explained.

“You _knew_ it would burn you, yet you still–” Ravi started to scold.

“Your lives were in danger,” N cut him off, tone firm. “I may have been a priest, but that doesn’t mean I can’t fight at all.” Ravi snapped his mouth shut and swallowed, hands trembling slightly beneath N’s.

“Thank you, for helping,” Hyuk said, drawing both N and Ravi’s attention. “I don’t think we’ve ever fought something that _fast_ before. It was overwhelming.” N swallowed, turning his gaze back to his hands.

“I was just doing what I could,” N murmured. That’s all he’d been doing for a while. Everything he’d done up until now would be useless if he let Ravi die _here_. He had to do everything he could.

“The burns make him look hideous,” Hyuk said after a moment, and Ravi’s attention turned back to N. N wrinkled his nose at the sudden insult, shooting a glare up at Hyuk. “We should get salve on his face and bandage his hands.”

“Right,” Ravi mumbled, pulling his hands away to get bandages from Hyuk’s bag. As Ravi started bandaging N’s hands, Hyuk grabbed the salve and started applying it to N’s face. Once N was properly bandaged and Ravi’d downed half a potion, they stood, making sure Hyuk could keep his balance. They gathered their belongings and headed back to the three way fork.

-.-.-.-.-.-

The winding paths of the broken earth maze led to three more dead ends, but luckily the demons that waited in ambush were weak and easily dispatched. After back tracking several times and few more arguments about which path to take, the path opened into a third cliff. The air was almost nauseating to N, the dark energy thick enough that standing still felt dangerous–enough that even Ravi and Hyuk were visibly perturbed.

The reason became clear when N approached the cliff–lights flickered through the mist at the base of the cliff, glowing briefly as they swam through thick mist, only to fade and reappear further along. Souls, N realized dizzily. He stepped back from the cliff, hugging himself. This was the heart of the valley.

“What are those?” Hyuk asked.

“Not Waol,” Ravi said dryly.

“The valley is a purgatory, of sorts,” N said quietly, drawing Hyuk and Ravi’s attention.

“Purgatory?” Hyuk asked.

“A place of judgment,” N answered simply, staring out over the mist.

“So the Waol bring souls here for judgment before they’re sent to heaven or hell,” Ravi said, looking back over the mist.

“Something like that,” N murmured. It was more complicated than that, but he saw no use in trying to explain it when his knowledge of the universe’s workings was still filled with holes. He wasn’t even sure humans were supposed to have that knowledge.

“Do you see a path down?” Ravi asked.

“It looks like there might be some footholds, but I can’t tell if they go all the way down,” Hyuk said as he walked along the cliff, looking over the edge. N turned his eyes skyward to where the sun was about to disappear behind the mountains.

“Finding a path can wait until tomorrow,” N said. “The sun will be gone in an hour, and we can’t be sure we’ll be reach the bottom of the cliff before then.”

“Do you sense something ahead?” Hyuk asked, stilling and looking back at N. N stared out at the souls that occasionally peeked out of the mist.

“I just think it’d be foolish to die because we couldn’t see a foothold after coming this far,” N said, tone detached. Even to his ears, the reason sounded insincere. The heart of the valley would be dangerous, day or night. “Besides, my hands are still tender.” Ravi sighed, one hand on his hip as he ran the other through his hair.

“Then we’ll make camp,” Ravi said.

“Okay,” Hyuk agreed, stepping away from the cliff edge.

-.-.-.-.-.-

“The souls kind of remind me of fireflies,” Hyuk said staring over the cliff. “I keep getting glimpses of their glow, but by the time I look, they’re already gone.”

“If only they were as harmless as fireflies,” N said, turning to look with Hyuk.

“Do you really think they could hurt us?” Hyuk asked, turning towards N.

“It _is_ called the Valley of Lost Souls. Who knows what they’re capable of,” N answered, turning back to the fire and poking at the dragon meat at the bottom of his bowl. He was the only one with food still in his bowl. The energy in the air made him too nauseous to eat as quickly as he normally would. Hyuk had just finished putting his bowl away, and was starting to pull out his sleeping mat. Ravi had inhaled his food and settled near the cliff edge to watch the thick roiling mist that covered the valley proper. A lighter mist coated the entire camp, back into the maze, but it wasn’t so thick that N couldn’t clearly make out Ravi’s back. Darkness was just settling over the valley, but N couldn’t make out the stars for the mist.

N shoved the last of the meat in his mouth, chewing slowly as Hyuk rolled out his mat. Hyuk bustled about the camp, gathering what dirt he could in order to kill the fire when they were all ready to sleep. After N swallowed, he wiped out his bowl and put it away. He tugged out his own mat and rolled it out.

“I’ve been thinking,” Hyuk broke the silence, settling on his mat. “It wouldn’t be so bad to settle in Dalnisia, at least for a little while.”

“Live in Dalnisia?” N asked, looking up at Hyuk.

“I think Jiwon would like it there, and you could study magic at the academy like you always wanted to, and N would blend in with the other Semol,” Hyuk explained. N dropped his gaze to the ground, swallowing. Unless Ravi managed to do everything just right, N wouldn’t be able to join them, no matter how nice the idea of settling down with them sounded.

“And what about you?” N probed, daring to peek up at Hyuk.

“I could live however I wanted,” Hyuk said, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“I don’t know if I’d want to deal with your enemies,” N said, attempting a joke.

“After all of this, they’d be just like annoying flies,” Hyuk said, smile tugging a little wider. N exhaled through his nose, a ghost of a laugh. “We should talk about it more with Jiwon.” The words were almost lost to valley.

“She’ll probably want to go home,” Ravi said without turning to look back at them, words heavy. Hyuk bit his lip and stared into the fire. They fell back into silence. N stared down at his hands. It would be like a dream to continue to live with them, to stay by Ravi’s side whether in Dalnisia or Ravi’s hometown. But it was just a dream.

“I’m going to try to sleep,” Hyuk announced with a sigh after several long moments of silence. “No use in trying to stay up.”  Ravi grunted his acknowledgement.

“I’ll join you soon,” N said, looking at Hyuk. He turned to Ravi then back to Hyuk, “We both will.” Hyuk cocked an eyebrow.

“Please, take your time,” Hyuk said flatly before laying down. N frowned at Hyuk, not quite catching his meaning. After a moment he sighed. Ravi was brooding, his shoulders tense since the encounter with the second demon. His mood obviously wasn’t any better than N’s. N supposed it was time to attempt to ease Ravi’s mind enough to sleep, even if he wasn’t much of a mood for it. Whatever lay ahead would require every bit of Ravi’s strength, and above anything else, Ravi needed to _survive_ or else everything he’d done would be in vain. He pulled Ravi’s mat from Ravi’s bag and unrolled it next to his own mat before crossing to Ravi and sitting down next to him.

“You look like you have a lot on your mind,” N said, gently placing his hand on top of Ravi’s to avoid aggravating his still tender palms.

“You do too,” Ravi said, turning to look at him.

“Mm, I’m worried about what’s ahead, but I’m mostly worried about you,” N said. One way or another, almost everything he’d been thinking about lately was related to Ravi. “You’ve been… a bit distant lately.”

“I do trust you, you know,” Ravi murmured after a moment of silence. N looked up at him with curious eyes. “But like you said earlier, I’ve just–I’ve been caught up with thoughts of Jiwon.”

“We’ll get her back,” N said, the words almost painful to say. Sitting there, looking out over the Valley of Lost Souls, over the last obstacle to the Gates of Hell, everything seemed more _real_ , _heavier_. If things went wrong, N would die and so would Ravi. If things went right, it was still likely N would die. And death meant ending everything that was just beginning.

“Maybe you and Hyuk should go back,” Ravi murmured. N sat up straighter, gaze sharp.

“I’m not letting you go on alone,” N snapped. It simply wasn’t a possibility. Maybe if they left together, ran away from the test, but Ravi would never be able to forgive himself for abandoning Jiwon. “And I’m not going back without you.” Ravi flinched. “And you _know_ Hyuk won’t either.”

“Even if it means you get mangled in the process?” Ravi asked, shifting uneasily, brows creased. “The fights are getting tougher the further we go. You and Hyuk could have been injured more seriously.”

“It’s part of what we signed up for,” N said firmly. “We knew there was a high risk of dying when we agreed to help you.”

“You don’t know Jiwon at all, and you barely know us. And when you get hurt, I feel–guilty. For dragging you into this,” Ravi confessed, staring down at N’s bandaged hand on top of his own.

“I _do_ know _you_ ,” N said, also staring down at their hands. He knew them better than Ravi could realize, and that was part of what made everything so hard. “I know Jiwon is a kind person, and I know that we wouldn’t have met if it wasn’t for her, if you weren’t trying to live up to her expectations of you.”

“The thought of losing you and Hyuk while fighting scares me,” Ravi mumbled. “I feel like it’s my fault if you get hurt, like I’m not strong enough.” N frowned, gripping Ravi’s hand a bit tighter as he tried to find the right words.

“The thought of you trying to do this all alone–you’d–you’d–” N choked up, unable to vocalize the possibility that Ravi could die. He looked away, biting his lip and fighting the urge to fist both hands. He _wouldn’t_ let it happen. “You aren’t weak, and neither are we. We _will_ rescue Jiwon.”

“We will,” Ravi repeated softly, resolutely. “I will do everything I can to get her back.” And N would do whatever he could to make that reunion happen. They fell into silence, N staring at their hands, nausea overcoming him anew as a breeze stirred the mist up.

“How are your burns?” Ravi asked carefully after several long moments. N flicked his gaze up to meet Ravi’s.

“My palms are still tender, but my face and fingers don’t hurt anymore,” N said. Ravi gave a small grunt of understanding. He reached out with his free hand, tentatively brushing over the bandages at N’s temple. “I think they can come off,” N whispered and Ravi nodded, hand searching out where he’d tucked the end of the bandage. N moved his hand, freeing up Ravi’s. Ravi removed the bandages slowly, balling them up when he was done. He looked up at N and swallowed.

“It’s like it never happened,” Ravi murmured. N lifted a hand to touch his forehead and temple. The skin was indeed smooth. “Your healing is amazing.”

“I wouldn’t be here without it,” N hummed, “but Jin’s salve definitely helps.” Ravi laughed, just a small huff through his nose, lips curling ever so slightly.

“I’ll make sure you don’t get hurt like that again,” Ravi mumbled, turning away. N reached up and leaned in, catching Ravi’s lips in a slow kiss.

“Whatever lies ahead,” N breathed as he pulled back, “don’t try to shoulder it all alone. I can take care of my pretty face. Just don’t push us away.”

“Right,” Ravi breathed. N kissed him again, and when he pulled back, Ravi followed, refusing to let the kiss end so quickly.

“Thank you,” Ravi breathed when he finally pulled back. “For earlier. For coming this far with me.” N smiled.

“You don’t have to thank me,” N said. He wasn’t doing this for gratitude.

“I want to,” Ravi said, pressing his forehead to N’s. After a moment, he shifted, catching N’s lips in a quick kiss.

“We should sleep,” N hummed when they pulled apart. Ravi grunted, a reluctant noise, but moved to stand anyway.


	11. Chapter 11

_The soul cradled in N’s hands was warm, it’s glow soft. He could tell by its energy that it was good._

_“These souls are set to be reborn soon. Based on their actions in previous lives, they have been selected as possible heroes in the upcoming tribulation,” N’s superior called out. N glanced around at the others; most were looking at the superior, but Leo was fixated on the soul in his hands. It was rare that they got to see souls up close, let alone hold them, so N couldn’t blame Leo. “You are to watch over your assignment until it’s time for their the tests to begin.”_

-.-.-.-.-.-

_N crouched down next to the bed, staring at the small infant cradled in his mother’s arms. The child was only a few days old, still so tiny. N had been there for the birth. The labor had been so long that N had worried the mother might die of exhaustion or other complications, but in the end, the child was born safely. A healthy baby boy. The child’s parents had been overwhelmed with joy._

_The baby’s breath stopped for a brief moment before he started panting, his breath quickly evening out again. N supposed that this would be his next twenty-something years if everything went according to plan._

-.-.-.-.-.-

_N sat on the edge of Ravi’s bed, stroking through the child’s wet bangs. Flushed from fever, Ravi slept, oblivious of the world around him._

_“You’ve had quite enough of that fever,” N hummed before leaning down and placing a healing kiss on the child’s forehead. “It’s time it broke.”_

-.-.-.-.-.-

_“Eeeeww, don’t touch me!” Hyuk squealed, jerking away from Jiwon._

_“Why not?” Jiwon asked, shocked and hurt._

_“Because girls have **cooties** ,” Hyuk exclaimed. N snorted to himself; he’d seen countless boys go through similar stages, all equally ridiculous in their implausibility._

_“Cooties? What are cooties?” Jiwon asked in bewilderment, brows knit in concern._

_“You doofus, Jiwon **doesn’t** have cooties,” Ravi hissed, tackling Hyuk to the ground. Hyuk flailed, trying to push off Ravi in vain._

_“If you don’t like cooties so much, you can **have** them!” Jiwon chirped, jumping in and shoving her hands in Hyuk’s face. Hyuk screamed and N could barely contain his laughter. Children were the darndest things. He was starting to really see what Leo adored about them._

-.-.-.-.-.-

_“How is Mrs. Joo?” Hyuk asked, looking to the door when Jiwon entered the sitting room. Jiwon smiled at Hyuk tiredly._

_“Resting with her healthy baby girl,” Jiwon answered. “Though I didn’t get to do much this time because of how quickly it happened. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone give birth that fast.”_

_“Is Mom still over there?” Ravi asked, standing up._

_“Yeah. She wants me to start dinner. Can you go round up our chickens for the night?” Ravi looked back at Hyuk and the books spread across the coffee table and sighed. They’d borrowed them from Hyuk’s uncle’s library. His eagerness to learn from the magic texts had been obvious in the bounce in his step as they’d carried the books from the library to Hyuk’s home, and N found it incredibly endearing. Ravi had been going through them with such deep concentration all afternoon, but it all dissolved away the moment his sister had entered the room. Ravi was so soft for his sister, so protective, it reminded N of how he and his brothers felt about their charges._

_“Yeah, I’ll get the chickens,” Ravi agreed, turning to Jiwon. “We can continue tomorrow, right?” he asked, looking back at Hyuk._

_“Yeah, it’s not like the books are going to walk away,” Hyuk said, pushing himself up._

-.-.-.-.-.-

_Sobs wracked Ravi’s shoulders for days after Jiwon was taken. A flower for the underworld, candidate bride of the King of the Underworld, the rest of the village had little hope they’d see her again. There were legends of such a reaping of women in the past, far out of everyone’s mind until Jiwon had been taken. The last tribulation, the last reconciliation, had been centuries ago, of course they’d consider it a legend. But the legend that fell from the local priest’s lips did nothing to soothe Ravi’s regret. N wanted nothing more than to tuck Ravi beneath his wings, to protect him from the cruelty of it all, to return Jiwon. N didn’t want him to be a hero if it meant Ravi had to suffer like this._

-.-.-.-.-.-

N blinked his eyes open, the presence of nearby demons drawing him from his sleep. He moved to sit up, but strong arms kept him in place.

“Waol,” Ravi said, startling N. His voice was hushed, gruff with sleep.

“You’re awake,” N said. Ravi opened his eyes, meeting N’s gaze.

“Nightmare,” Ravi explained simply. N sighed sympathetically and snuffled into Ravi’s shoulder, holding him tightly. If pattern held, he wouldn’t be able to find the right words, but he could at least provide physical support.

-.-.-.-.-.-

The ground at the base of the cliff was relatively flat. Pools of shallow water and barren trees dotted the misty landscape. Glowing souls weaved between the trees, reminiscent of fireflies. Whispers filled the air, undecipherable but filled with grief. N shivered, the atmosphere making him nauseous. Ravi stepped forward first, back straight and shoulders stiff.

“The gate to the underworld is located somewhere in here,” Ravi said, voice shaking.

“It could take days to find in this mist,” Hyuk said cautiously.

“I’ll search years if I have to,” Ravi declared, starting to walk. Hyuk followed, quickly going to Ravi’s side. N watched their backs, his stomach knotting painfully. With each step, Ravi was closer to possible death. He balled his hands into fists and forced himself to move forward.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Hours of walking resulted in no sign of the gate or pathway Ravi was looking for. He seemed to wander through the mist as aimlessly as the lost souls. The terrain was mostly featureless, making it hard to find bearings other than the sun, dully visible through the mist. Hyuk forced them to stop occasionally to mark trees in hopes of helping in the event they walked in a circle. They’d yet to encounter one of Hyuk’s marks, but that did nothing to ease N’s discomfort. Ravi pressed forward, and N’s eyes stayed trained to his back.

All at once, a crippling wave of nausea washed over N and his head started throbbing, the unmistakable presence of _demon_ in the air. N dropped to his knees, hand coming to his mouth as he felt himself gag. He forced the vomit back down as he frantically searched the mist for the demon. Ravi and Hyuk hadn’t noticed he’d gone down–they continued walking, Hyuk veering to the left, farther and farther from Ravi with each step. In the distance, far beyond the pair, there was a figure in the mist. They hadn’t seemed to notice it, their steps and posture the same as they’d been since setting foot in the heart of the valley.

N attempted to push himself up–he had to get to Ravi. A ripple of energy ripped through him, and he fell back to his knees, unable to keep the contents of his stomach this time. He wretched until nothing was left in his stomach, dry heaving twice before he was able to regain himself enough to look up. Ravi was knee deep in a pond of water, sinking deeper with each step. Souls swooped in close to him, guiding him into the water. Hyuk was no where near him, and when N turned in search of him, he spotted wings– _wings_ –the demon had _wings._ N pushed himself to his feet, the action taking every bit of his strength. This wasn’t good. He _had_ to get to Ravi. He stumbled forward desperation taking over him.

“Hakyeon,” a voice, deep and familiar, called out to him from behind. N froze. The demon was no longer in the distance. “It’s good to see you again.” N turned around slowly, coming face to face with the sandy pink-haired demon from Ajol–from his memories–

_“I’ll give you a human body so you can walk beside him,” the demon said. “And if he should find himself dying, **you** will take his place in the underworld. This the best we can offer while maintaining the balance.”_

_“You’re going to make me fall?” N asked, tilting his head in confusion._

_“No–not quite,” the demon said. “I can’t strip you of your position or powers, but you’ll be bound in a human body just like the fallen. Heaven won’t be able to touch you as long as you’re confined in such a fashion.”_

_“The end result is the same,” N said._

_“Oh, it’s much more favorable–If Ravi doesn’t die, then you can stay by his side until your flesh prison dies, even if you truly fall in the meantime.”_

_“What is the catch?” N asked sharply. The demon grinned, bringing a finger under N’s chin._

_“Do you know how beautiful you are?”_

_“Stop playing games.”_

_“You don’t?”_

_“ **Hongbin** ,” N growled in warning._

_“Our type never does until we’re told. Vanity is something you were taught to avoid, wasn’t it?” The demon cupped N’s cheek, looking at him with hooded eyes._

“Hongbin,” N growled, hand going to the hilt of his knife.

“I see your memories are coming back properly,” Hongbin said, a wide grin spreading across his lips as he brought his black feathered wings to rest comfortably behind him.

_“Have you ever wondered what it’s like to be a Waol?” Hongbin asked, watching the droves of Waols wandering the battlefield collecting the souls of the dead._

_“Probably boring,” N hummed, kneeling down next to an unconscious soldier. He was injured badly and would die before the medics got to him._

_“I prefer not to think about it,” Leo said from where he kneeled next to a fallen battle horse. The tribulations were horrible this time. N reached out and ran his hand over the fallen soldier’s wounds, easing the bleeding enough that the medics would get to him in time._

“Why are you here?” N growled, drawing his dagger.

“Administering a test,” Hongbin answered simply, folding his arms across his chest. “Despite our deal, you can’t expect me to let them just walk right into the Underworld.”

“Test,” N mumbled. The meaning clicked in his head and he whipped back around to look at Ravi–the water was up to his chest. He made a run for Ravi, but Hongbin was suddenly in front of him. N skidded to a stop and scrambled backwards as Hongbin stepped towards him.

“I can’t let you interfere yet,” Hongbin said as he lifted his arm, steps quicker than N’s. His fingertips brushed N’s chest and a wave of energy wracked through N’s body.

N jerked back, his knees feeling weak and the breath knocked out of him, but Hongbin pressed forward, hand coming to rest fully on N’s chest. The force of the second energy wave made him feel like he was burning from the inside, the pain so intense it ripped a scream from his throat. The pain converged on his back with white hot searing pain, making him feel like his body would burst. Then Hongbin’s hand was gone. N fell to his hands and knees, trying desperately to push through the pain, to not black out, to _breathe_. The pain started to subside, but in its wake, and electric thrum coursed through his body.

“Wh-what did you _do_?” N stuttered.

“Unlocked one of the seals on your powers,” Hongbin explained, wicked grin audible in his voice.

“Why–” N croaked, attempting to push himself up. Hongbin began to circle N, his footsteps crunching in the dirt.

“You looked like a sorry mess,” Hongbin hummed. Grabbing N by the hair, he yanked N into an upright position. “But now things will be more interesting.”

“More–” N broke off as Hongbin flung him into one of the near by pools of water. He crashed through the surface of the water, but when he made contact with the ground, everything was dry. Sitting up, N looked around. Flat, barren land in every direction save for the occasional pool of water. Hongbin was nowhere in sight. The mist filled air had an eerie stillness. N stood, not nearly as nauseous as he’d been earlier, and turned slowly, looking for any sign of where to go.

“ _Jiwon!_ ” Ravi’s voice echoed through the landscape. N stilled, trying to determine which direction it had come from. “Jiwon, behind you!” From his left, N realized, bolting in that direction. As he ran, he was able to make out several figures in the distance. Ravi surrounded by black shadows, demons like the ones from the maze. The demons were mobbing him, but Ravi was fighting back. N gripped his dagger tighter, raising it to strike as he neared. He stabbed the first demon he reached in the the back, burying the dagger hilt deep until it squealed and stopped moving.

“N, you’re okay,” Ravi called when he realized N was there, relief in his eyes. He moved the demon he was deadlocked with in the way of another, using it as a shield. N pulled his knife from the demon’s back and left it fall to the ground. Two demons lunged at him. N went for the one on his left, aiming for the heart but striking it’s stomach instead. It grabbed his shoulders, clawing in, pinprick burns developing where its claws touched N’s skin. N jerked it into the path of the other demon, stumbling back when it collided into the first. There was a cry and the first demon went limp before both were pulled off N. Ravi tossed the bodies to side, panting as he looked N in the eyes.

“Where is Hyuk?” N asked.

“I don’t know, but they have Jiwon,” Ravi said, voice twinged with panic as he reached out and grabbed N’s hand. He turned, dragging N behind as he ran after two demons. After several meters, he let N’s hand go, and called out “ _Jiwon_!” The smaller of the two demons stopped, turning back to Ravi and pretending to struggle against the other.

“Ravi!” the smaller demon screamed, voice sounding wholly inhuman.  

“Jiwon!” Ravi called again. That _wasn’t_ Jiwon, N realized with a sinking feeling. N rushed forward, barely managing to grab Ravi’s wrist. He came to a full stop, the momentum causing Ravi to stumble back into him.

“You have to stop,” N warned. Ravi tried to jerk out of his grip, but N held on tighter.

“What the–” Ravi growl, words cutting short as the larger demon lashed out with a shadow tentacle, it’s form shifting from humanoid to amorphous. Ravi struck down the tentacle, but three more replaced it. N released Ravi to strike down one of the tentacles and Ravi went for a second, but the third wrapped around N’s leg. N went down, knocking Ravi down with him, as the tentacle started to retract. As soon as Ravi regained his sense of orientation, he rolled off N and cut the tentacle off.

“Ravi!” the smaller demon called out. Ravi snapped his attention to the demons just as another tentacle wrapped around his neck, jerking him back. N scrambled up, reaching behind Ravi and grabbing the tentacle despite the burn. He cut the end off quickly before stumbling back and slashing at another incoming tentacle. Ravi gasped for breath, hand going to his throat as he turned to face the demons. He shoulders shook and he straightened. Bringing his other hand to the blade, he charged forward. N lunged after him. He managed to grab Ravi’s right arm and jerk him back.

“What the hell are you doing?” Ravi growled, trying to shake N off. “I have to get to Jiwon!”

“That’s not Jiwon, you have to stop!” N cried out, putting all his weight in strength into holding Ravi back.

“Are you blind!” Ravi growled, lashing out as the larger demon attacked again.

“Ravi!” N called, stumbling back, dagger raised to strike, but Ravi didn’t heed him. He ran in front of Ravi, striking down another tentacle before spinning on his heels, glaring at Ravi. “You have to _stop_.”

“Get out of my way.”

“Listen to me!” N shouted.

“Are you blind?” Ravi yelled back.

“That isn’t Jiwon. They wouldn’t make it this easy,” N warned stepping towards Ravi. Ravi stepped back, stance turning defensive.

“How would you–” Ravi cut off, something clicking in his expression. “Get out of the way.”

“They’ll kill you.”

“That thing’ll kill Jiwon! And it’s getting away!” Ravi yelled, sidestepping to go around N. N followed, stepping in close to Ravi, hands coming to Ravi’s chest. “ _Move_.”

“Listen to me!”

“You’re one of them!” Ravi hissed, shoving N back. N stumbled back, mouth falling open in shock.

 _One of them_.

Ravi sidestepped again, charging at the larger demon. It attacked; the sound of chopped off tentacles dropping to the ground drew N back from his stupor. Ravi was walking into a death trap. N swallowed and ran after Ravi.

“Ravi!” the smaller demon screamed. N raised his hand to grab Ravi’s shoulder, but Ravi spun around, thrusting his sword in N’s direction. N stilled, his dagger slipping from his grip, pain blossoming in his stomach. He dropped his gaze to Ravi’s sword impaled in his stomach. When he looked back up, Ravi’s eyes were wide, filled with guilt and regret. N swallowed. This was the length Ravi would go to for Jiwon. He brought his hands to the blade, numb to the pain of it cutting into his palms and fingers. He stepped back, wrenching the blade from Ravi’s grip.

He pulled the blade from his stomach, spinning it so he could take it by the hilt. This would be the length he’d go for Ravi. He shoved past Ravi, throwing all of his energy into charging at the demons. The smaller demon attacked, an energy wave that N barely registered. A shadow tentacle came from his left and he struck it down. As he reached striking distance of the smaller demon, he was jerked back.

“ _Stop_ ,” Ravi growled, trying to drag him backwards. N lashed out, knocking Ravi in the face with his elbow. He sprinted forward as soon as he was free. Another weak blast from the smaller demon, a tentacle aimed at his legs. N jumped, lifting the sword and stabbing the smaller demon through the heart. Before it screamed, there was a burning, searing pain on his neck, in his _throat_.

N dropped the sword, his entire body going weak. He fell to his knees, reaching up to touch the fresh cut on his throat. A piercing scream rang through the air. He slumped forward, unable able to stay upright any longer, and he wondered vaguely if this was how he’d die.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Ravi hissed, pulling him upright and kneeling down in front of N. “ _Fuck_.” He brought his hand to N’s neck, putting pressure on the wound. “I’m sorry, I should have listened–Fuck, _fuck_.” He lowered N down, hands scrambling at the small pouch at his waist as soon as N was horizontal.

He pulled a potion bottle from the pouch and poured it’s contents on N’s neck wound, hands visibly shaking. N hissed, the potion burning. Ravi moved down, pushing N’s shirt up to get a better look at the stab wound. He poured the rest of the potion on to the stab wound. N hissed again, but the pain of his injuries faded fast.

“I should have trusted you,” Ravi apologized as he moved to N’s hand, lifting it to observe the damage. He stilled, jaw softening as he ran his thumb over N’s palm, his touch causing no pain. “You’re already healing,” he mumbled in disbelief. This was what Hongbin had meant by releasing some of his power. N forced a swallow, the action painful but possible.

“Good,” N breathed. “I’m not ready to die.”

“I almost killed you,” Ravi said, looking away. N brought his hand to his throat. There was nothing left of the wound but a shallow cut. How much was the potion and how much was his natural ability to heal, he didn’t know, but he was grateful. He was in this kind of situation too often to complete his goals otherwise. He relaxed, closing his eyes, feeling absolutely drained.

“Demons can change their appearance,” N whispered. “You couldn’t know.” The words were more a comfort to himself than to Ravi. Ravi was just confused like any human would be in that situation. It made it easier to swallow the accusation that he was just like the other demons.

“I should have,” Ravi snapped.

“But you didn’t.” N’s words hung heavily between them. Ravi sucked in a deep breath, and N opened his eyes to look at him.

“I should have trusted you.”

Yes. He should have. N closed his eyes with a sigh. But this was Ravi, and deep down, N had expected exactly that response in a test like this. Maybe he would have figured it out before it was too late, but his chance of dying was high. This was why he’d made the deal with Hongbin.

“We need to find Hyuk,” N rasped out, unable to go on with that line of conversation.

“Hyuk can handle himself. You need to rest right now,” Ravi protested.

“What makes you think they aren’t doing the same thing to him?” N asked, opening his eyes and frowning. Ravi frowned back, hands clenched over his knees. “I’ll heal,” N said as he pushed up. “And Hyuk has most of the medical supplies anyway.” Ravi sighed before giving a reluctant nod and getting to his feet. He held his hand out to to N and helped him up. N wobbled, legs still feeling weak. Ravi tightened his grip on N’s hand, lips pressed in a tight line, guilt heavy in his eyes.

“Do you need help walking?” Ravi asked after moment. N swallowed, debating the offer before nodding with a sigh.

“Just for a bit.” Ravi moved to N’s side, placing N’s arm over his shoulder.

-.-.-.-.-.-

They walked aimlessly through the barren terrain looking for any sign of Hyuk. N wasn’t sure how long they walked, but the wound on his stomach stopped hurting and his energy was starting to return, an electric thrum that coursed through his body. Ravi halted, looking off to the right.

“Do you see that?” Ravi asked. N craned his neck to look. There was a figure in the distance.

“Hyuk?”

“I think so,” Ravi said, starting to walk in that direction. N stumbled at the sudden movement, and Ravi paused, leaning back to catch him. “Sorry, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” N said, straightening. “I think I can walk on my own–go ahead.”

“Are you _sure_?”

“Yes, _go_. I’ll catch up,” N insisted, letting go of Ravi’s shoulder. Ravi nodded, stepping away, hand lingering for a moment before he turned away, pace brisk. N followed, much slower but steps steady. As he got closer, the figure in the distance became clearer–by the height and breadth of it’s shoulders, it was definitely Hyuk. Ravi stilled a few feet away from Hyuk, unmoving until N reached his side.

Hyuk stood over the dead body of a demon, sword in hand and tears welling in his eyes. Ravi called to him softly, but Hyuk didn’t move or acknowledge them. Hesitantly, Ravi reached out and brushed Hyuk’s shoulder with his fingers. Hyuk startled, jerking away and swinging his sword around. Ravi raised his hands in a placating gesture.

“What did you see?” N asked softly. Hyuk’s eyes went to N and he softened. He sheathed his blade and lifted a hand to wipe the tears from his eyes.

“My mom,” Hyuk answered after a moment. N swallowed, dropping his gaze to the ground. As far as N remembered, she’d been alive when they’d left, so the shock of seeing her must have been strong. The shock of realizing it wasn’t actually his mother must have been even worse. Ravi stepped forward, tentatively putting a hand on Hyuk’s shoulder.

“I saw Jiwon,” Ravi said sympathetically. Hyuk nodded, stepped back, away from Ravi’s touch.

“At least we know that Jiwon’s probably okay,” Hyuk sighed. “I barely thought of my parents when we left but…” Hyuk rubbed his hands over his face, turning away. “What if something happened to them?” Ravi looked at the ground, shifting uneasily. N clenched his fists, stepping forward.

“I think the nature of their attack would have be different if something had happened to them,” N said. Hyuk turned to look at him. N stepped forward, cautiously reaching out to touch Hyuk’s arm in comfort. “I’m sure she’s fine. Why send demons when they could set a trap with the actual souls? They’re trying to mess with our heads.” Hyuk swallowed.

“Right,” he sighed, running his hand through his hair. He looked around before turning back to Ravi and N. “What now? There’s nothing out here.” N shifted nervously, turning to look around himself. “It looks like we’re not even in the valley anymore, but I didn’t even realize it until I was fighting.” N spotted a pool of water in the distance.

“We haven’t left the valley,” N said. “The demons just split us up and sent us to another area. The demon that got me threw me into one of the pools of water before I had a chance to kill it. That’s how I got here.”

“Pool of water?” Ravi asked, turning to look at the pool of water in the distance. “Do you think that one could get us out of here too?”

“It’s worth a try,” N said. Hyuk moved first, Ravi following quickly after, and N more sedately. Hyuk knelt down next to the pool of water and swiped his hand across the surface.

“It seems like normal water,” Ravi said, hands on his hips as he stared down at the pool.

“Any volunteers to jump in first?” Hyuk asked, standing back up.

“I’ll go,” N volunteered, stepping up to the edge of the pool.

“Are you sure?” Ravi asked. His fingers brushed the back of N’s hand.

“Yeah,” N nodded. He took a deep breath to brace himself and stepped forward. The water seeped into his shoes unpleasantly, and he resisted making a face as he continued forward.

“It’s deeper than it looks,” Hyuk commented when N was waist deep in the water. N turned to look back at them.

“If I don’t come back up, follow me,” N instructed. Looking as if he wanted to say something, Ravi shifted forward. He started to open his mouth but snapped it shut and swallowed.

“Hearing you say that is scary,” Hyuk supplied for Ravi. “But if you don’t come back then that should mean it worked? Hopefully we all come out in the same place.”

“And if it doesn’t work?” Ravi asked.

“Then we figure something else out,” N replied matter of factly. He softened his knees, submerging his torso under the water. Before dunking his head under the water, he gave the others a reassuring smile and took a deep breath. Folding his legs underneath him, he sat at the bottom of the pool for a moment. Nothing seemed to change, so when his lungs began to burn, N stood up. He gasped for breath, hands quickly coming up to wipe the water away from his eyes.

When N opened his eyes, the rock shore line was empty. He waded out of the water, looking around to take in his new surroundings. He was in a large cavern–a cathedral–the ceiling so high as to be unreachable without wings. Cracks in the ceiling allowed light to pour in and illuminate the cave. There was an opening in the cathedral wall ahead of him, torches on both sides. The body of water he’d surfaced from was part of a large, slow moving river. He could see the other bank, but he doubted it could be easily reached by swimming. The far bank narrowed into a pathway that looked like it led upwards and out of the cavern system.

N swallowed. The pathway to the Gates of Hell. He hadn’t ever been there before–at least not in his recollectable memory, possibly not even in a past incarnation–but the stories of it were starting to come back to him. Waol ferried souls across the river to the gate to rest, and in return the gatekeeper released souls to be reborn. A balance. A contract between Heaven and the Underworld. A cycle of death and rebirth. N swallowed again. This would be the hardest test. Jiwon wasn’t dead, but an exchange would still need to be worked out.

Two splashes drew N from his thoughts.

“It really worked,” Ravi said in awe, looking around.

“You made it safely,” N said, coming to the edge of the water.

“I could have done without the wet clothes,” Hyuk complained as he waded to shore.

“Where are we?” Ravi asked, trudging out after Hyuk.

“Underground?” Hyuk suggested as he looked around. “Maybe this is the path to the gate we’ve been looking for?”

“I get that feeling too,” N agreed, turning to the opening in the cave wall.

“So the only thing we can do is to move forward,” Ravi said, coming to N’s side. He turned to N. “Are you okay?” N nodded, glancing at Ravi.

“Yeah,” N answered dryly.

“Then we should move,” Ravi directed. N nodded and stepped forward.

-.-.-.-.-.-

They followed the path from the cathedral, guided by torches on the cave walls. The path narrowed and curved, the temperature dropping with each step. N shivered, his wet clothing increasingly uncomfortable.

The path ended in another grand cathedral, smaller than the one with the river, but no less intimidating. Torches lined the walls and freestanding torches created a path deeper into the cathedral. A large stage took up the rear of the cathedral, a line cutting the ground just in front of it, veiled by a barrier that gleamed almost imperceptibly in the torch light–the threshold of the underworld. A gold altar sat in the middle the stage. Behind it the gate to the underworld crackled with energy–a large gold ring, raised above the alter. Ravi let out a small gasp at the sight, his footsteps quickening and Hyuk speeding up to keeping up. N followed sedately, his insides in turmoil. This was the _real_ test.

As they neared the threshold, Hongbin appeared in front of the altar, black wings spread to full breadth. Ravi stilled a few feet from the the threshold, Hyuk a few steps behind him. N stood several meters back, to the side, eyes sharp as he eyed Hongbin suspiciously. Hongbin looked out over them, expression serious, lingering just a moment longer on N as if to say _don’t interfere_. Hongbin’s gaze snapped back to Ravi and Hyuk.

“Humans,” Hongbin said. Ravi tensed. “Have you come all this way to throw yourselves into hell?”

“I came to get my sister back!” Ravi called. Hongbin broke into a smile, wings coming to rest behind him.

“Your sister?” the demon asked. “Which sister would that be?”

“Don’t play fool with me! Jiwon! She was taken as a candidate for the wife of the King of the Underworld!” Ravi called angrily.

“Jiwon?” Hongbin hummed, crossing his arms over his chest and tapping his finger on his chin in an exaggerated show of thought. He really _did_ enjoy messing with humans. “Jiwon… You mean this Jiwon?” He waved a hand and a shadow bubbled up from the ground. It parted into the form of a cage, Jiwon inside–the real Jiwon.

“Jiwon!” Ravi yelled. Her attention snapped up and she scrambled to the cage bars, gripping them until her knuckles turned white.

“Ravi!” she called back, expression awash in shock. “What are you doing here? Oh god, don’t don’t tell me you died–” He stepped forward, but hesitated and glanced at N, eyes questioning. N nodded.

“She’s real,” he said quietly. Ravi nodded back, turning forward and puffing out his chest.

“I’m fine,” Ravi assured. “I came to get you out of here.”

“Came to get me out?” Jiwon yelled as if she thought it was a stupid idea. Hongbin tsked, waving a hand, and the front of the cage closed off.

“I’m sorry, but dead or alive, once you’ve passed the threshold of the underworld, you can’t just leave whenever you want,” Hongbin said, shifting his weight to one leg, affecting a bored expression. “There are _rules,_ conditions that must be met.”

“Conditions?” Ravi asked, taking another step forward. “ _What_ conditions have to be met?” Hongbin’s smirk returned.

“Jiwon means a lot to my master, so he won’t give her up so easily,” Hongbin said.

“I will fight him, every demon in the Underworld if it means getting Jiwon out of here,” Ravi growled. N’s stomach swooped. The demon howled, crumpling forward and hitting his hand on his thighs. Black feathers drifted to the ground as his wings shook with the force of his laughter. After a few minutes, Hongbin straightened, stifling down his laughter as he wiped a tear from his eye.

“Little human, that won’t be necessary,” Hongbin said, amusement clear in his voice. “You wouldn’t be able to defeat this lowly gatekeeper, let alone the _King_ of the Underworld.” Ravi growled in anger, hand going to the hilt of his sword. “I propose a deal instead.” N’s chest tightened and he balled his hands into fists.

“A deal?” Ravi asked, posture straightening slightly. “With a demon? How can I trust you? It was you demons that kidnapped Jiwon. You’ve been playing mind games since I entered the valley.”

“I can assure you, this is the only way to guarantee your sister’s safe return,” the demon hummed, hand coming to his hip. “But if you aren’t interested…” He moved to wave his hand.

“Wait!” Ravi yelled. “What kind of deal do you propose?” The demon stilled. He turned his gaze to Ravi, a shark like smile spreading across his lips.

“Ravi, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Hyuk objected, putting his hand on Ravi’s shoulder. Ravi shrugged it off, taking another step closer to the threshold.

“I want to hear his offer,” Ravi said, tone hard. Hyuk looked back at N, brows knit in concern, obviously wanting N to back him up. N focused his gaze on Hongbin, fists clenched so tight his arms were shaking.

“We’ll return your sister to you, but in return you’ll have to give something up that’s of equal value,” the demon said, expression serious.

“Anything,” Ravi said firmly. Every muscle in N tensed, his stomach dropped.

“Anything?” Hongbin parroted, eyebrows raised.

“ _Ravi_ ,” Hyuk tried to warn again, but Ravi shrugged him off again.

“I’ll do _anything_ , give up _anything_ to get her out of here,” Ravi clarified. This was the length he’d go to save his dearest little sister.

“ _Anything?_ ” Hongbin parroted again, straightening and spreading his wings. “You can’t take those words back.”

“I won’t,” Ravi asserted, his conviction solid. The demon smiled and waved his hand. The shadow cage dropped Jiwon across the threshold and Ravi rushed forward to pull her into an embrace. N watched, jaw set and gaze sharp, pushing down the storm of emotions roiling inside. Ravi sobbed, squeezing Jiwon tight. They murmured to themselves, and N forced himself to watch the reunion, tried to etch the image of Ravi’s pure happiness and relief into his memories. He could feel the shadows swirling around his feet, could feel them snaking up his ankles.

“A deal is a deal,” Hongbin said, and Ravi tensed. He pushed Jiwon away slightly and looked up at the demon. The shadows surged and N let it engulf him without a fight–a deal was a deal.

“I’m ready,” Ravi’s voice rang clearly through darkness.

“I’ve taken what I need,” Hongbin said, and N was hurled up as the shadows parted to form a cage. Tendrils formed shackles around his wrists and ankles, forcing him to remain still.

“You–” Ravi broke off in shock. He was standing at the threshold, Hyuk holding Jiwon protectively a few paces behind him. The expression on Ravi’s face was broken–an expression N had hoped he’d never have to see on Ravi’s face again after Jiwon had been taken.

“You said _anything_ ,” Hongbin reminded Ravi. Horror overtook Ravi’s features as he realized how foolish the words had been. He started to tremble, tears welling in his eyes. The demon grinned, wicked and toothy. N looked away but the demon reached into the cage and grabbed N by the chin, forcing their eyes to meet, touch burning. “And this fulfills _my_ end of our deal, doesn’t it?” N grit his teeth and refused to meet Hongbin’s gaze. The demon roughly jerked N’s face closer, the shadow cage caving way to its master, and leaned in until their lips were almost brushing. “Doesn’t it?”

“It does,” N growled, lashing out with what energy he could muster. Hongbin cackled, barely flinching at the attack.

“What are you talking about?” Ravi asked, tone a mix of confusion and anger and a myriad of other emotions N couldn’t pick out. N forcefully turned his head to look in Ravi’s direction.

“I’m sorry–” was all he managed before the demon yanked his head by the hair and tossed him into the darkness.

“He fell to save you. You should feel honored–” was the last thing he heard before the silence of the darkness overtook everything.

-.-.-.-.-.-

_“We don’t have any **real** power,” Hongbin murmured, body shaking. “As long as we play by the rules, we’ll never be able to change the grand scheme of things.” He slammed a fist into the pool of blood surrounding him. “I can’t keep doing this, Hakyeon. I can’t keep pretending I’m actually making a difference in these humans’ fates.”_

-.-.-.-.-.-

When N awoke he was on a cold floor. He groaned, shifting and pushing himself up. The dark energy in the room made it hard for him to find purchase, but he forced himself up.

“You are very determined, little angel,” a voice rang through the air, smooth and chilled. “I quite like it.” It’s tone dipped low with desire. N snapped his head in the direction of the voice, only to reel in dizziness at the sudden movement. “I don’t think Heaven quite deserves a servant  like you.”

When his vision focused, the weight of his current situation crashed down on him. He lay at the foot of a throne, before the feet of the King of the Underworld. He was a perfect mirror of God, bleached blond to mark his opposite nature. He sat comfortably reclined in his throne, legs crossed, hair slicked back, and dressed in a pressed suit.

“ _Ken_ ,” N breathed out, a mix of trepidation and awe.

“Ken?” the King of the Underworld said, tone amused. “Did you hear what he called me Hongbin?”

“I did, my lord,” Hongbin said, somewhere behind N.

“Ken,” the King laughed. “He has gall.” The King sat forward so he was closer in level to N, and N flinched back. “You’re just as cute as Hongbin said you’d be. But that doesn’t excuse your need to address me _properly_. From now on, I’m your king, your _god_.” N swallowed, trying his best to hold the King’s icy gaze.

“My–lord,” N corrected meekly. The King smiled, his eyes crinkling.

“Good boy,” the King purred. “Now, let’s get you out of that nasty little shell, hm?” The King reached out and bopped N on the nose. An inferno lit inside N’s body, the pain a hundred times worse than the pain of Hongbin releasing one seal of his power earlier. Clawing into the rock beneath him, N screamed. He felt as if he was _dying_ , and perhaps that’s exactly what it was–the death of his flesh shell. The pain converged on his back, building tight and painful, feeling as if it would explode. And explode it did, ripping his back open, the energy venting until N was left with a comfortable electric thrum coursing through his body.

“Huh, I’d thought they’d be completely black by now,” Hongbin said from somewhere off to the side. N pushed up, only to be caught off balance by a new weight on his back. He jerked his head to the left, his breath leaving his body when he caught site of _wings_. Broad white _wings_ mottled with black. He dropped his gaze back to his hands–the earthly pallor was gone, replaced with an ethereal glow.

“Jiwon may have been a pawn in the game, but she’d become quite dear to me during her time here,” the King said, pulling N’s attention back up to him. He was pouting. “I’ll miss her, though, I suppose you’ll be occupying my time for the moment.” N swallowed and forced himself up into a kneeling position.

“What are you planning to do with me–my lord?” N asked.

“Finish what you started,” the King answered dully. “You can’t return to your post in Heaven, and even if I sent you back to them, you’d just return to me as a Waol. And you’re too _pretty_ to become an amorphous blob.”

“So you’ll make me fall,” N said.

“You’re already as good as fallen by your own actions,” the Kings said tone turning amused. He reached out and grabbed N by the chin. He sat back, tugging N up with him so their faces were mere centimeters apart. “Tell me, how sweet was the forbidden fruit? Was it worth dying your wings black?”

“I have no regrets.” Ravi was alive. He’d survived the hardest tests. N could say it with absolute confidence.

“Fucking is fun, right?” the King asked, breath hot on N’s lips, voice laced with lust. N made a noise in the back of his throat. “A beautiful and pure child, tripped by lust for what you can’t have, fallen at my feet and vulnerable. I think that lust will be an appropriate fate for you.”

The King leaned forward, lips capturing N’s. All the warmth disappeared from N’s body, a new energy lighting deep within his chest, burning cold. When the King pulled away, N was overwhelmed with hunger, carnal and raw. The energy in his chest dimmed with the loss of the King’s lips, leaving him too _cold_. N chased after him on instinct, locking their lips together in a deeper kiss, leaching energy from the King, warming his chest, sating his hunger ever so slightly. The King kissed back, and the amount of energy flowing into N increased. N pressed closer, clung to it, craved _more_. He was _so hungry_.

“Oh, _Hakyeon,_ ” the King moaned, breaking the kiss. The warmth in N’s chest started to recede, and he was so hungry he felt dizzy. “You’re gorgeous like this. Blond really suits you.”

“Not Hakyeon,” N panted, trying to orient himself.

“Oh?” the King cooed. His finger brushed over N’s lips. “Then what do you wish to be called?”

“N.”

“The name that human gave you?” the King hummed. “It does create a nice distance from your past.” He pushed his finger past N’s lips, and N latched onto it, suckled it without thought, hoping for hunger sating _energy_. “Alright, _N_.” The finger provided no energy, so N let it go easily when the King pulled his hand away.

“What have you done to me?” N asked, looking up and meeting the King’s gaze. The King smiled, mischievous in a way that made N’s empty stomach swoop.

“I’ve made you an Incubus. A slave to the desire of fleshly pleasure.” N swallowed, dropping his gaze to his hands. Hunger for pleasure, for physical contact– “Hongbin.”

“Yes, my lord?” Hongbin said from N’s left. N jerked around to look at him.

“Give him a proper feeding before he loses his mind. He’ll burn through what little energy he has quickly,” the King directed. A saccharine smile spread across Hongbin’s lips.

“My pleasure, my lord,” Hongbin agreed, stepping forward and grabbing N’s arm with bruising force. The King snorted. Hongbin pulled N up to stand, directing him to a door opposite the throne. N dug his feet into the ground and turned to look back at the King, refusing to move.

“I want to see him,” N demanded. “Ravi.” The King hummed, resting his head on his hand.

“Not until you’ve learned to manage your hunger. Otherwise you’ll accidentally kill him and mope about it.”


End file.
